ADVENCHURS!

I AM KISMET. I AM BACK. THIS IS MY BLOG.

I have been letting my sister Sophie use my blog a lot lately, and I will let her use it in the future too, even though I don't really LIKE TO, but I am NICE, and sometimes my Person says "Kismet be NICE", but for now I am blogging on MY BLOG!

I wanted to write about the great advenchurs I have been having in Merruhlind. I was worried about moving here because our partment in Brooklyn had a GREAT jungle outside, and I didn't know anything about Merruhlind before we got here except that I knew there was no eff trayn, but let me tell you, the jungle here is BIGGER!

PLUS we live ON THE GROWND now, so whenever my Person opens the door to leave, I just RUN RIGHT OUTSIDE and INTO THE JUNGLE! And my Person does not like this, and she grabs me and carries me back inside over her shoulder, and I don't LIKE THAT, and I GROWL, and sometimes I will use my very big front feets to grab onto things so that she can't take me inside that easily, and when I do that she says I am just like a toddler, and I don't know what that means, but it is probably something real big and VISHUS like ME!

Anyway, last weekend my friend Ted came to visit, and he took me outside LOTS! Here I am with Ted:
My Person said "Just make sure he stays on his leesh!" but Ted understands being a big man cat in the jungle, so he let me off my leesh to do some exploring and patrolling. There were many dogs yapping at me from the fenced-in jungle behind the partment, but I was not scared of them. I just kept on exploring. If you are in the jungle, it is important to keep focused like that at all times!
When my Person won't take me out into the jungle, which is A LOT, I watch the cat teevee with Sophie. Sophie does not like to go outside, probably because she used to LIVE outside, which I think would be GREAT, except that you would not get the foods from my Person, and I like the foods from my Person.

My Person is done with her first mester of Brad Skool, so the person that used to live with my Person is coming to see us today! I am hoping that she brings presents, and that she will remember how big I am and that I like to be told how big I am. She was always good at this, so I think she will remember. Sophie is very scared of her.

And because my sister is formerly feral, and it's Friday, here is a pic of her too. I AM NICE. Plus, this picture really deminstrayts her feralness. She likes to dig in the garbage for foods, and to lick the foods cans after we eat the foods. It is very undignified.
AND, we got some awards lately - The Rockin' Boy Blogger (which I got from Jake and Speedy) and Rockin' Girl Blogger (which Sophie got from the lovely Bathsheba WHO HAS EXTRA TOES IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW) awards, and Sophie won the schmooze award from Fiona and Ali too! Thanks for nominating us, everybody!

I have been real bad about updating my friends' links, maybe because certain small orange cats keep TAKING MY BLOG, so if you read our blog and would like to be added to the links, please leave a comment and I PROMISE to add you. It is just hard to get the computer from my Person sometimes.

OH MY GOSH!!!!!

HI!!! I ARE SOPHIE!!!! I GOTTED TAGGED TO DO A SURVAY BY SKEEZIX HOO IS THE MOST FAMISSIST OF ALL THE CATS IN THE HOLE WERLD!!!!!! He is SUCH a selebritee, PLUS my HERO DAISY is his gerlfrend!! I ARE SO ACITED!!!!!!

But afore I can do the survay I haf to tell evarywun that this is my BRUTHER'S blog, and that I have just been YOOZING IT a lot laytlee, and that he is going to blog again SOON. Here are a pikchur of him so yoo know that I am not lying.

As yoo can see, he is still VARY big!!!! I luv my bruther!!!!

HEER IS THE SURVAY!!! I luv SKEEZIX!!!!

What were you doing 10 years ago?
I am VARY yung, so I was not alyv! But if I was, I was probablee a cat foods tayster becuz I LOVE the foods!!!!

What were you doing 1 year ago?
I was living outsyd in Rode Aylind!!!! I was also VARY VARY yung, even yunger than I am now!!! And I was living with my mom and my dad and my bruther, and thare was a meen man who did not lyk us!!!

Five snacks you enjoy:
I LOVE THE FOODS!! I will eet anything the nyce laydee lets me eet, lyk her food, or YORE food, but if I hadta pick theez would be my five:

1. TEMTAYSHUNS!!!! Sometimes when the nyce laydee gives my bruther and me the FOODS she forgets to close the door to the kabinit, and I steal the WHOLE BAG OF TEMTAYSHUNS, and I take it into my cat tent and chew on it until I can get it open and then my bruther and I eat the WHOLE THING!!!!
This is what I look lyk in my tent:

Yoo can tell it is me becuz my feets are white!!!!!
2. PEETZUH!! Peetzuh is VARY delishus. It has 2 vary delishus parts: the cheez, and the krust. I like to steal entire krusts in my mouth and run away with them, but they are vary hard to eat so this is only for profeshunuls!!!
3. Baked potaytoz!!! When the laydee eats theez, she puts sower kreem and cheez on them, so if I can get a good bite, thare are many delishus things ON TOP of the potayto itself, which is also delishus!!!
4. FRISKEEZ!!!! Friskeez always tastes better from my bruther's bowl. He does not mynd switching with me halfway throo the meel, either. HE IS THE BEST BRUTHER!!!
5. When I am VARY hungry, I chew on my tayl. It is not that taystee.

Five songs to which you know the lyrics:
I do not know the werds to any songs, BUT I sing a lot anyway! The laydee calls it my "cherping".

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:

1. Buy my bruther and the nyce laydee LOTS of presents!!
   
2. Buy myself a whole lot of FOODS!!! An entyre peetsuh, JUST FOR ME!!!
   
3. Get a WHOLE LOT OF KLOHZ and praktiss being just lyk DAISY!!!!
   
4. Pay to have the whole nayburhood fenced in so my bruther could go owtsyd as much as he wants! He gets VARY growchy when the nyce laydee does not let him go owt.
5. Mayk shur that EVARYWUN is as happy as ME!!!
   

Five bad habits:

1. I steel foods.
   
2. Sometimes, thare is poops on my booty.
   
3. I lyk to play ALL THE TIME and sometimes I attack my bruther's tayl to mayk him play with me.
   
4. The things on the nyce laydee's dresser are NOT toys. I have a hard tym remembering this.
   
5. I lyk to chew on fingers. Not vary hard, though!!!
   

Five things you like doing:

1. EATING THE FOODS!!!!
   
2. Having my booty petted!
   
3. Hanging owt with the nyce laydee
   
4. BLOGGING!!!!!!
5. Following my bruther arownd. He is VARY fassinayting.
   

Five things you would never wear again:

I do not reely have many klohz. I have a black tee-shirt that says S Katty Kat on it, becuz that is my rapper naym. And I have a pink polo shirt, but it is kinda big on me, becuz I am VARY small. I also have a white tee-shirt. I would ware all of them agenn!!!!! I would maybe not like to ware shooz on my feets, but that is all. I would also REELY LUV a pretty party dress, becuz I am a GERL!!!!

Five favourite toys:

1. My fuzzy wyte snohflayk ball
   
2. My bloo fether wand (I played with this so much I broked it)
   
3. My BRUTHER!!!!
   
4. The nyce LAYDEE!!!
5. The things on the nyce laydee's dresser are NOT TOYS.
   

I am asposed to tag FIVE OTHER CATS but I do not know too many other cats acuz I don't have my own BLOG! I will try though!!!!

I know that Skeezix already tagged her, but I HAFTA TAG DAISY becuz she is my HERO!!!!
And Dragonheart, acuz he does not have any hayrs and I bet not having to clean all of that fluff is VARY nyce!!!!
And Finn, acuz he told me I was pretty!!!!!
And TRIP acuz he seems acited all the time lyk me!!!!
And last but not leest, JAZPER acuz we lived on Rohd Aylind together!!!!!

I LUV MY BRUTHER AND EVARYWUN!!!!

Hi!! I are SOPHIE! I are yoozing my bruther's blog for SOPHIE SUNDAY!!!!!!! I know it is TEKNIKLEE Man Cat Monday, but I wunted to blog abowt ME, and I couldn't do it yesturday becuz the nice laydee had to use the compyooter to typ things for her frend Brad Skool, so my bruther sed I could blog today INSTED!!! MY BRUTHER IS THE BEST!!!! I am very acited!!!!

The nice laydee cut the furs on my butt!!!! I am VARY fluffy, and the hairs back there were VARY long and when I sit down they fan owt and sometimes poops would get stuck to them so the nice laydee trimmed them for me!!! Here is a pikchur:
As yoo can see I am still VARY fluffy, but now the hairs are shorter and they take less time to kleen, AND NOW I can sit in things like this:
without my butt hairs hanging out!!!! The nice laydee sed that this is a candul holder but I fit in it vary nyclee!!!!!
Here is a pikchur of me and my bruther watching the cat teevee!!!!
My tayl is in the pikchur, but it is not big becuz I am ascayred, it ALWAYS looks like that. I am VARY fluffy!! I lyk to watch the cat teevee with my bruther!!!
Here is a pikchur of my feets!!!
I am vary oranj, except for my toes and my tummy and my feets and my chest!! And my paw pads which are pink becuz I am a GIRL!!!!

I hope you lykt my blog!!! I like to eat the foods and kleen the hairs on my tummy and lay on top of the laydee!!!!

Wordless Wednesday and my ONE HUNDREDTH POST!

Man Cat Monday

When you are posing for pictures, it is very manly to sneak a fang in there now and then, just to remind the persons that you are WILD and VISHUS! I also think this picture is manly because I look very big, like a kooger or a bobcat!

MOVED!

I LIVE IN MERRUHLIND NOW INNERNETS!!! And LET ME TELL YOU, it has been quite a PROCESS getting here. I have read on other blogs about movable masheens that other cats' persons have, and I was never very sure what they were talking about, but after all of my furniture and belongings, including my LITTER BOX, were taken out of my partment in Brooklyn, I was shoved into the prison box with Sophie, and put in the BIG LOUD MASHEEN.

WELL.

AND THEN IT STARTED MOVING.

Sophie just curled up and got scared and stayed in the corner, but I just got MAD. MAD! So first I mraw mraw mraw'd real loud, and my Person said "it's ok, Kismet!" very many times, and stuck her fingers in the prison bars so I would know she was right there, but clearly it was NOT OK AND I DO NOT KNOW WHAT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT, so then I did what I had to do.

I pooped.
In the prison box.

And my Person had to open the door of the prison box to get the poop out, which she did not seem to enjoy, and as soon as she did that I walked right out of that box and settled myself on her lap. And I got to watch all of the sights flying by! Like we went over a bridge, but not the rainbow bridge, at least I don't think so, because I seem to be okay and still HERE, and I stood up and looked out the window, and then eventually I just settled down on my Person's lap.

We drove to a place where my Person and Sophie and me got into a whole DIFFERENT masheen, and in that one my Person had to drive, and so I had to stay in the prison box. But after all of the pooping and walking around the other masheen I was actually kind of sleepy, and Sophie was still REAL SCARED, so I tried to be a nice big bruther and I cuddled with her and gave her a bath while she was sleeping. This was nice on TWO counts, because she was stinky after sitting on my poops for a little while, and because it is nice to have someone to cuddle with when you are scared.

Anyway, so after many many YEARS in the masheen, we FINALLY got to our new home in Merruhlind. Our partment in Brooklyn was high up in the sky, but our partment in Merruhlind is very low. When I watch the cat teevees, it is like I am RIGHT ON THE GROUND! And because the partment is so close to the ground, it is VERY cool inside, which is nice, because our partment in Brooklyn got SO HOTS in the summer, and the HOTS make me real grouchy. And HOTS.

When we got to the partment all I wanted to do was EXPLORE, and make sure there was no other cats or foods hanging around, but my Person just shut me and Sophie up in the bedroom while she brought all of her stuff in. I was real mad and mraw mraw'd a lot but Sophie was still scared so she hid in the closet, so I could not mraw a WHOLE LOT, because I had to make sure Sophie was okay.

After all of the stuffs was brought in, my Person had to put some furniture together. So I helped, because putting stuffs together is a real man cat thing to do. First, I looked at the directions.
Because I am a big man cat I actually prefer to not read the directions and just put things together, because I don't NEED to read the directions, because I just KNOW where everything goes, because I am a BIG MAN CAT, but the lady persons get upset if you don't read them so I had to do it. After looking at them for a minute, I then made sure that all of the pieces were there.
Here I am giving them a good sniff. After making sure all the pieces are there it is very important to give them a smell to make sure that they have not been peed on or that there are not any foods or other cats hiding in there.

Then I took a bath.
It's important to stay clean when you are assembling furniture because you don't want the furniture to get all dirty because YOU are dirty! Then, I used my very big claws to open the boxes, and then I was kinda tired so I took a break.
Putting stuff together is VERY tiring, so after I sat for awhile I realized that I didn't really want to do anymore, so I took on the role of supervisor. I just helped my Person and her person (Bonnie from Whiskonsin, who is her mom) put the stuff together - I told them where the parts went, and they followed my instructions.
It worked out pretty well and now we have lots of furniture!

Besides helping to put stuff together, I have just been trying to help my Person adjust to the new partment and to hanging out with Brad Skool. Brad gives my Person lots of stuff to read and she has also started reading this thing called the newspaper. She reads it every single day, and the newspaper is very nice to sit your booty on, and Sophie also likes to eat it, because Sophie likes to eat everything. So, we have to sit with my Person while she does all of her reading. She is also gone a LOT less than she was when she was hanging out with Jahb, so all in all I think that I approve of Merruhlind and Brad Skool, but I do miss the eff trayn and that person who lived with my Person in Brooklyn.

Now that I am settled, I can blog more! I am very excited about this, and I hope everyone still remembers who I am!

Also, just so you know, Sophie is just fine now. My Person said that she thinks that Sophie was REAL scared because the only other time that Sophie has been in a movable masheen was when she was brought to live with us in Brooklyn, and so Sophie probably thought she was going to live with a new person again. But after a few days she was just fine. I, of course, was never worried, because I know that my Person could never go anywhere without me, because I am the best and cleanest big man cat ever in her whole life. And of course, she could not put together the furniture unless I was here.

Whiny Wednesday

My Person is gone in Whiskonsin and Merruhlind finding a partment for us there, and so it's just me and Sophie and that nice person who lives with my Person, and so I have nobody to hump and nobody to talk to me about how big my feets are, but just so that I don't forget all my routines I have been trying to keep up with them, like sitting my booty on the white cover on the person's litter box while the nice person stands in the white box with all the water, but while I was doing that today SOPHIE knocked something over in the other room and I was so SURPRISED that I FELL INTO THE BOX WITH THE WATER.

Here is my booty afterward.
It is wet.
And then the person who lives with my Person TOLD MY PERSON about it so now my Person knows that I have been doing undignified and not very man cat like things while she is gone.

Mraw.

MOVING?

GUESS WHAT, INNERNETS! I have not been able to blog much lately, and I will not be able to blog much for awhile, because my Person sat down me and Sophie and told us that we are MOVING!

She told us that she is not going to hang out with her friend Jahb anymore. At first I was REAL excited, because my Person leaves to spend time with Jahb almost every single day, and if she is not going to hang out with him anymore, that means she will have more time to hang out with ME! (and Sophie, too, I guess) But THEN she said that instead of Jahb, she is going to go see her friend Brad Skool. I don't know much about Brad Skool, except that he lives in someplace called Merruhlind, and that for her to spend enough time with Brad Skool, we have to go live in Merruhlind!!!

I am not sure how I feel about this. I do not think I am too mad because I have not had the urge to pee on anything. But this means there will be no more eff trayn, and no more partment in Brooklyn, and MAYBE NO MORE JUNGLE EITHER. But my Person says that Merruhlind is not THAT far away and that she is only going to be with Brad Skool for one year, and then she will be the masters of Brad Skool. To be honest this is all kind of CONFYOOZING, but overall it sounds like I might get to see my Person more often so it should be ok.

But anyway, since we are moving, I have to do many things to help my Person get ready, like sit in boxes to make sure that they will hold all of our Friskies, and sweep up the floor with my very big paws so that other persons will want to live in our partment. I will try to blog when I get a chance, but it might be awhile! DONT FORGET ABOUT ME INNERNETS!!

Out There on my leash!

Since it is getting nice outside again, my Person decided to take me out into the great jungle Out There on my leash this week! I was very excited. We live in the air in our building, and whenever my Person opens the door to go to the front door, I always come down the stairs with her because I am a very intrepid explorer. But when it was cold outside she would never let me go outside of the door. BUT THIS WEEK SHE FINALLY DID! I explored many things.
This is me sitting under this very big metal thing. It had gas, as you can see by the gas can in the back, but it was not the same smelly kind of gas that my sister Sophie has. I spent a LOT of time sniffing the big metal thing's blanket, because it smelled a lot like MEATS!!! And I REALLY like meats. I tried to lick the blanket a few times too, but my Person said "Kismet, that is gross" and made me move on to other things. She told me that the big metal thing is used for cooking meats and that is why it smelled like them. My Person does not eat meats, so it is really a miracle that I even remember what they smell like.


Since my Person would not let me lick the metal thing's blanket, I instead decided to eat some grass. I LOVE GRASS! I also looked around for some sellree, but I did not find any. I guess we do not grow our own sellree. But the grass was still VERY delishus.

The jungle is set up for a man cat, I think, because the grass is just tall enough that I can sit my booty on this big chair to eat it. It was a little difficult to get the eating stance right, though. I had to spread my very big back feets out to brace myself, and put most my man cat weight on my very big FRONT feets. It worked PERFECTLY once I figured it out, though! Here is a picture of my very big back feets in the right position. And also of my booty.
Being out in the jungle makes me feel like a WILD CAT! If you a young cat and scare easily you might not want to look at the next two pictures, because I do not want you to be spooked by my WILD CATNESS!
Although, if you have never been to the jungle, you might not even be able to find me in these pictures at all.

There are many things in the jungle that will distract you, and also some that will sneak up on you. That is why you have to be alert at all times. Notice how I am in the middle of my snack, but have made sure to stop eating when I hear DANGER approaching!

Once I decided that there was no immediate danger, I allowed myself to keep eating my snack - but I still kept my eyes out and my ears pricked!

It was a VERY GREAT trip into the jungle, but eventually we had to go back inside because the whole time we were Out There, my sister Sophie sat in the window and cried and cried and cried. She wants to type this part herself.

Hi! I are Sophie! I are yoozing my bruther's blog to tawk about how SCAYREE it was when my bruther was gawn! I sitted in the window and CRYED and CRYED. "WARE IS MY BRUTHER?? WY IS HE GAWN??? CAN YOU HEER ME, NICE LAYDEEE???" I thawted that maybe they had gawn to live outsyd, becuz I yoost to live outsyd, and I do not want to live outsyd AGENN, but if my bruther AND the nice laydee are going to live outsyd, I would rather be outsyd with them then alohn by myself in HEER. But then they kaym back! And I was so acited to see my bruther! And then we gotted FOODS!!!! My bruther wuns to typ now. It is nyc of him to let me yooz his blog becuz I know that he doesn't lyk it when I yooz his blog.

Anyway, my Person says that Sophie can't go outside in the jungle with us because she does not have a leash for her yet, and obveeisslee she cannot use mine because it would be WAY TOO BIG, and she also thinks that Sophie wouldn't even want to go in the jungle unless I was going too. So for now, jungle time is just me and my Person. I am not sure the jungle Out There is a good place for tiny girl cats, anyway.

NEW FOODS

I have discovered a new foods that I like a LOT. Here is a picture of me trying it for the first time. You can see how happy I am by the look on my face.

Here is a closeup so you can see what the foods looks like:
My Person says it is called sellree and she was VERY surprised when she saw me eating it. Personally I do not understand why she was confused - it is a lot like cat grass, which I LOVE, but it has a little more kick to it. Since I am such a big guy, I can handle kicky foods. And the BEST PART about sellree is that my sister Sophie, who eats ANYTHING, including gross foods like rys kayks and peenut butter that I would not even touch with one TOE, DOES NOT LIKE SELLREE!!! So I do not have to fight her for it at ALL.
Here I am licking my lips just to make sure there was no sellree I missed. (If you make it bigger, you can REALLY see me!) It was very delishus. If you like cat grass, you should try it! If you like Friskies, you should try it too, because I also like Friskies.

Trouble

Sophie is in trouble.After this, I peed in a basket.

My Person says it's a ruff morning in our apartment, but I don't see any dogs around.

Fluffy things

Lately Sophie and I have been hanging out a LOT in the people catbox room. The spot where I am sitting is the person catbox, but when the persons are not using it they cover it with this nice smooth cover that feels very nice on my booty. I usually sit here when my Person is pouring water on herself in the big white box, but it feels so nice on my booty that lately I have been sitting there even after she is all done with the pouring.
Sophie follows me around and wants to do EVERYTHING I DO LIKE EVEN USING MY BLOG, so when I sit on the white thing she sometimes will sit with me. But when my Person gets out of the big white box, Sophie always hops right in.
She likes to sit there and give herself a bath, and she also likes to hide behind the kurtin and watch me. I think that she thinks that I can't see her, but I can. But I play along, because watching me from behind the kurtin is one of the less annoying things that Sophie does.

Since today is Friday, I am posting some pictures of Sophie's tail for her. In the post SHE MADE ON MY BLOG, Eric told her about Fluffy Friday, and since I know that Fridays are also Formerly Feral (which Sophie is too) I GUESS I WILL LET HER show her tail on my blog. It is VERY fluffy.

My Person calls it a rakoon tail. I have never met a rakoon, but I bet they have big fluffy tails too. MY tail only gets big when things around me might be vishus.

I help TOO!

Hi! I are Sophie! I are using Kismet's blog becuz I red his post about helping fold the lawndree and I wanted to show evrywun that I helped too!
Here I are! After I saw my bruther helping fold the clohz, I wanted to help too, becuz I want to do EVRYTHING my bruther does! I love my bruther!
Here I are agenn! My tayl is vary fluffy! Luk how nyclee the clohz are foldid! I helped!
OOh, something SHYNEE!

My bruther does not lyk it when I yooz his blog.

Just me and my pee

Even though the VETS said that my pee is normal (which I knew. It is very smelly and when I pee a lot of it comes out. TOTALLY NORMAL, PERSON), I have still been peeing on the chair a lot. I have been hearing my Person say that she might just get rid of the chair, and I really hope that she does not do this, because peeing on the chair is the BEST! First I hop up onto it and use my very big front feets to clean off the surface. This is very important because you can't just pee on ANYTHING, it has to be clean! So I use my feets to scrape it off. This is also good in case there are some foods or other very tiny cats that you cannot see, because you would not want to pee on either of these things. Then I shake my booty a little bit, and I put my front feets on the back of the chair and lift my tail up and just pee away. It is VERY comfy to pee like this, because the chair is so skwishy and soft. My Person has caught me a few times and everytime she says "Kismet NO! We do NOT pee on the furniture!" and she grabs me and puts me in front of the litterbox. And I just say, mraw mraw Person, obveeisslee WE do not pee on the furniture, I am the one who pees on the furniture MRAW MRAW." And then just to throw her off I use my front feets to sweep up the floor in front of the litterbox, but when she is not looking I go back and pee on the chair. Sometimes it takes two or three tries before I get all of the pee out, but it is worth it to be so comfy!

Since I know that my peeing on the chair makes my Person upset, I have tried to make up for it by being a very good boy in other ways. Like, I keep her company when she is in the big white box pouring water all over herself.
Here I am supervising the pouring of the water. I do not really understand the whole act of pouring water over oneself, but nomatter how loud I sit there and mraw mraw (and sometimes I even reach in to grab her leg and try to pull her OUT), my Person will not stop doing it, so I like to make sure that the water is not too hot for her. Then while she is in there, I catch up on my reading about the famous ladies.
Yesterday, I also helped with the laundry. First, I supervised the folding of the clothes. This is very important, because I like things to be CLEAN! I also particularly liked this shirt because it has the word HAM on it, and I like ham. I know my friends the meezers like it too!
(If you make this picture big, you can see the chair (the one I pee on) in the background. Doesn't it look skwishy and like you want to pee on it too???)
After that, I helped my Person make the bed. This is ALSO important, because I sleep on that bed every night so I HAVE to make sure that there are no mices or other cats hiding underneath the blankets, and I also have to approve of where they are all placed.
This is me giving it the paws of approval.

Anyway, I know my Person doesn't like me peeing on the chair, but with all of the nice good boy things I have been doing lately, how could she REALLY be mad?

The results are IN!

I did not hear about my pee until YESTERDAY because the VETS never called my Person when they said they would! I was kind of fine with this, because I hate the VETS and I also hate hearing about my pee, and just to drive this point home I made sure to pee again on the chair last night. But anyway, my Person heard back from the VETS, after she called them three times, which made her very grouchy, and my pees are fine. WHICH I KNEW ALL ALONG, THANK YOU. My pee's pee aytch is normal and I do not have any crystals, which are sparkly things that girl cats wear, so of course I do not have any. This whole thing was stupid. I should never have had to go to the VETS to begin with.

Anyway, I did not pee on the chair today. My Person said she talked to the nice man who introduced us and that he has given her lots of ideas to stop the peeing on the chair. I just mrawed at her and made sure that she remembered that SOME persons think that I am a HAWK, and maybe she shouldn't mess around with me too much, if you know what I am SAYING.

I am sure that I will pee on the chair again at some point, though. You have to keep your persons on their toes.

THE VETS

WELL. I went to the VETS yesterday.

I knew I was going soon, because I heard my Person talking about it, but I didn't know exactly when, so I had to be on the lookout. And yesterday when she brought out my HUGE prison box, I knew it was time! She put the prison box on the floor, and I was sitting on the couch, and when she came over to me and picked me up, I decided to get warmed up for the VETS by putting up a fight about getting into the box. My Person tried to slide me into the box while it was sitting on the floor, but I used my very big paws to grab the sides of the box to keep myself out of it. I thought maybe once my Person saw how strong I am and how big my paws are she would realize that I do not need to go to the VETS, EVER, but unfortunately she did not seem to think this way, because she turned the prison box on its booty and dropped me into it that way. I tried to use my very big back feets to stay out of it, but it didn't exactly work.

To be honest, I don't really mind being in the prison box. I like to curl up and be carried around (if I had a harem, I imagine this is what it would be like!). My Person carries the box while we walk to the VETS, and she always puts some of her fingers in the prison bars so that I know that it is really HER carrying me around, and I put my nose through the bars right by her hand and I make sure to mraw mraw whenever we pass other persons so that they know that a very big man cat is passing them by. It was very nice out yesterday, and if I hadn't known where we were going, it would have been a very good walk.

But of course, I DID know that we were going to the VETS, and as soon as we walked inside there, I was on alert. My Person set the prison box down so she could go talk to the lady behind the counter, and I immediately began to mraw mraw very loudly. My Person came and sat back down and told me it was all going to be okay, but I knew she was LYING, because then a cat in the torchur room heard me and started mraw mrawing back. We were mrawing very loudly but then they brought that cat out to his person and he got to leave. I was very jellis, but I also knew that he understood my pain. Anyway, that is when the assistant vet man said we could go back into the torchur room.

My Person carried the prison box into the room and set it on the examinayshun table and opened the door for me. Because it was my Person opening the door, and not the vet lady or her helper, I came out obeedeeintlee, but only because I knew if I didn't, the vet lady would dump me out and that is very undignified. I sat my booty on the table and my Person rubbed my head for me while she told them about my pee problems. But then she had to go sit down, and as soon as the vet assistant man reached for me, I BOLTED!

First I ran to the edge of the table, making sure to hiss and growl and put my ears way back the whole time. The assistant man did eventually grab me and take me over to the scale, but as soon as that was done, I wiggled and wiggled and ESCAPED! I bolted over to where my Person was sitting and got under her chair. The man moved the chair next to her, and I hissed and growled and SCREEMED for all I was worth! My Person got up so he could try to get under her chair, and I bolted for the counter! I sat on the counter by the sink, and whenever he came near me, I yelled at him until finally, HE LEFT THE ROOM!!! VICTORY WAS MINE!!

My Person could sense that I was very upset and she came over to where I was sitting on the counter and began to rub my head. I growled at first and she said "oh, Kismet, it's okay" and picked me up and held me real tight. I let my ears come up and I stopped growling and glared at the vet lady. I couldn't see her, but I am sure that my Person was glaring at her too.

Unfortunately, the assistant man came back in. But he was wearing these:

HUGE fake hands and arms that went all way almost up to his shoulder! My Person said later that those fake hands and arms are used when people hold big huge birds like HAWKS! I MADE HIM SO SCARED THAT HE THOUGHT I WAS A HAWK! And when he came in and saw that my Person was holding me and I was being a very good boy, he said "Oh. Of COURSE." And the vet lady said, "well, you aren't his mom." And I said, THAT'S RIGHT YOU AREN'T!

My Person asked if it would be better if she just held me while they torchured me with pointy sticks. But the vet lady said "we actually need him to lay down, so that probably wouldn't work." So my Person put me very carefully on the torchur table, and the assistant man came over and put a towel over my head (probably because he knew that seeing his face would FILL ME WITH RAGE), and they proceeded to do very awful things. Like the vet lady felt my belly and said "oh, he has some yurin. We can just take it out." AND THEN SHE STUCK SHARP THINGS WHERE THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO GO AND I FELT LIKE I HAD TO PEE ON THINGS, LIKE MAYBE HER TORCHUR TABLE. And then she poked me some more and stuck things up my booty, and the assistant man held my very big back feets while all of this was going on, but FINALLY she said "okay, you can go now" and brought out the prison box. And let me tell you, I JUST RAN into that prison box. I didn't even try to show them how big my paws are and how strong I am. I am kind of feeling sad about that now, but at the time, I just wanted to get OUT OF THERE. However, I do feel proud that I made that assistant man so scared that he went and got the hawk gloves!

Anyway, my Person says they will call sometime today with the results of my pee. Just to make sure she knows that this type of behavior is not ok, I peed on the chair again today. This is making her very worried about hearing from the VETS about my pee. I am glad because maybe it means that she will not take me there anymore. And if I do have to go back, that assistant man better LOOK OUT!

Before all of the VETS, Sadie tagged me for a survey about why I blog! So here are five reasons why I love the innernets:

1) I have met many great cats from blogging, and some GREAT lady cats.

2) Lots of persons read my blog too and REALLY like it. They bother my Person when I don't update. I like this because it means that I am educating all of the persons in the world about very important things, like letting cats who don't know you SNIFF you before you assume it is fine to pet them, and how cats look GREAT in shirts, and stuff like that.

3) Blogging really validaytes a lot of my opinions - like when I blog about the VETS, other cats tell me I am totally right for hating it and that I should try to get ninja stars on my file, or when I say how I like to pee on stuff, other cats TOTALLY understand.

4) Whenever I have a problem, or am confYOOZED about something, I like to blog about it and I get really great advice and suggestions from other cats. Like when the pink litterbox appeared, everyone thought I was getting a sister, and then I did! And when I HATED her at first, everyone told me it would get better - and it did!

5) Because when I need to launch things like a KAMPAYN TO GET MORE FOODS, other cats support me!

I will keep everyone posted on how my pee is. Hopefully we will hear soon and my Person will stop hovering over me and freaking out about everything I do. Like today she gave me some cheese and a little while later I blew chunks, and she FREAKED OUT. I blow chunks all the time, lady! Gosh.

EXPLORING....and THE VETS

Ever since the new person that lives with my Person came to live with us (Sophie calls her the "scayree laydee who loves me a LOT"), interesting things have been appearing in the apartment. First it was that great bed for me and now it is this:
I am not exactly sure what it is, but I am pretty sure that it is a present for me and Sophie. I think that Sophie looks very proper sitting underneath this thing so maybe it is a girl cat thing that I do not understand. Anyway, when it showed up Sophie was very quick to jump under it without even inspecting AT ALL! So I had to check it out to make sure that everything was okay, because that is what a good big brother does.
You can see that my tail is a little bushy, because the thing might have been vishus. You can also see that Sophie looks very confused. This is because inspecting and patrolling are man cat things to do, and since I do them, Sophie never has to.
It turned out there was no need to worry. After closer inspection I decided that the thing was NOT vishus, and Sophie sat under it for a long time. What do you guys think it is? Since it is RIGHT outside Sophie's pink cat box, I think it might actually be a present for me - a sheeld to protect me from the litter that she shakes off of her paws and that she kicks out of the box. And if you remember that day when all the poops got on the wall, you will know that I really do need a sheeld! It is also right under the cat tv, and so it might be a thing for cats to sit under when other cats are watching the cat tv. That way if some cats don't feel like watching right then, the episohds will not be ruined for them and they can watch later!

This was the good part of my post. Now for the bad part: I am going to have to go to the VETS soon. I peed on the chair TWICE this week and my Person is real worried because before I came to live with her I had lots of problems with my yurinerry trakt and blocks. I don't know what a yurinerry trakt is, but it means I can't eat dry foods very often, and I also can't play with blocks, because if I get a block it makes the pees not come. Anyway, I tried to remind her that peeing on things is just what I DO - like the couch that I used to pee on sometimes - but she is still worried because she can't remember the last time I peed in a place I was not supposed to more than once in a week. So now we are going to the VETS. And I HATE THE VETS. And thinking about GOING to the VETS just makes me want to PEE MORE. I will be sure to let you know how it goes. Hopefully it will be good for me and bad for the VETS!

SO BUSY

SUP INNERNETS!!! I have been such a busy man cat lately that I have just not had time to blog. I want to thank ALL OF MY INNERNET friends who left me messages and comments, and I ESPESHULLY want to thank Rosie and Cheeto, who even went so far as to make a missing poster for me. I am real sorry that I made everyone so worried. But rest ushered that I am fine!

Here are some of the things that have been happening. First of all it was Saynt Patrick's Day last weekend. This is a day where all the persons wear green and pretend that they are Irish, and they drink things that are sometimes also green. Sophie has orange fur, so my Person thinks she is definitely Irish (something about how all redheads are, which I do not really understand, because Sophie's head is not red, and like I just said her fur is ORANGE), but since I am a very handsome brown and black and grey color, my Person decided to give me some green stuff to wear.

The thing around my neck is called a bandanna. I got it from my Aunt Amy, who has many meezer cats. Her meezer cats work with her in her doctor's office - she is a doctor for real tiny persons who have trouble paying attention in school. And they have bandannas for EVERY HOLIDAY EVER. I have one for Thanksgiving too. My Aunt Amy sends me one for every holiday. I have never met her, but she seems real nice! Anyway, I think it kinda tough to pull off a bandanna, but I think I look pretty handsome. The green brings out my eyes. I definitely look Irish, which means that I look good in green.

But the OTHER thing that happened - which is the REAL REASON why I couldn't blog for so long - is that my Person got a new computer! It is named Mack, and it looks like this:

I was real excited when I found out about it. Since it is named Mack, I know that it is a MAN CAT computer, because a girl computer would never be called Mack. You can also tell that Mack is for man cats because he has a apple on him. A apple is some gross foods that only Sophie would eat, but it is still a type of foods, so you know that Mack understands the IMPORTANT things. But Mack works a lot different than the old computer, so it has taken me some time to get used to it. But as you can tell, I am getting the hang of it now!

I have also been very busy protesting my feeding skedjuwul. I am a very big guy and I would like my foods more than just two times a day. So I have been trying real hard to walk around the apartment a lot and mraw mraw MUCH MORE THAN NORMAL. And in the mornings as soon as I get hungry, I go sit my booty on top of my Person when she is sleeping and mraw mraw real loud. And when she opens her eyes and looks at me, I just give her the "What? I do not know what you are confused about? Mraw?" And then she will close them again. And then I repeet. Sophie has kinda been ruining this plan, though, by licking my Person's face in the mornings. I think maybe she has been reading Skeezix's blog and is mistaking our Person for Mr. Tasty Face - because while I love my Person and all, in the morning, I would much rather be EATING SOME FOODS.

Anyway, so that is what has been going on. Now that Mack and I have gotten to know each other I will be blogging more, I PROMISE!

Man Cat Monday (sort of)

I am sort of doing a Man Cat Monday post. I say sort of, because I am including a picture of my sister Sophie. I do not want to cause any CONFYOOZHIN, so I just want to make sure that everyone understands that Sophie is NOT a man cat. But lately, we have been reading a lot:
As you can see, I prefer grownup and manly books like Seabiscuit. This is a book about a horse, which is a big man type of creechur. Sophie on the other paw likes smaller pink books with titles like "Girl Talk". My Person says these are seereez, and that they are about teenage girls. I don't know what that means but I do know that this is nothing I am interested in reading, ever. But reading in general is a very good thing to do and can be either manly or wo-manly, depending on what you choose.

This weekend I also fixed the innernets, because my Person and that person who lives with my Person could not figure out how to get it to work. So I came to the rescue!
Those boxes are called rowters. They are what make the innernets come into my apartment. I think they do this by mraw mrawing and scaring the innernets into doing what they want, and that is why they are called ROW-ters. But their mrawing was not scaring the innernets enough because there was no innernets for awhile. So I sat my booty down next to them and cleaned my big man paws right in front of them and this seemed to make them understand exactly who is boss! I also mraw mraw'd a few times so the rowters would remember how to do it themselves. All of this is pretty manly, plus fixing things is manly all of the time.

Thursday survey with Sophie

Hi! This is Sophie! I gotted tagged for a survey by A DOGGY at Emma's blog! So Kismet are letting me use his blog! He is kleening his toez rite now! I would lyk some foods!

1) 4 places I lived:
-Outsyd on Rohd Aylind. I was real little and it was kold and there was a meen man there!
-With Danyel. Danyel reskyood me!
-With my bruther Kismet and the nice laydee and the scary laydee who REELY REELY LIKES ME, which where I live now.
-That is it!

2) 4 things I love to watch:
-My bruther Kismet. He is vary fassinayting.
-The feetses of the peeple I live with.
-The cat teevee!!
-All of my toys

3) 4 places I have been outside home:
-With the scary man in Rohd Aylind.
-In my bruther Kismet's carry-er to the vet laydee.
-In the big mooving masheen with Danyel, when I kaym to live with my bruther Kismet.
-Sometimes, when the nice laydee goes out of the door, I follow her, but I never go down the stayrs like Kismet does.

4) 4 websites I visit daily:
- Akchually, my bruther does not let me use the compyooter because I get too acited. BUT I do walk across the keeys, and sometimes I even sit my booty on the skreen!

5) 4 favorite foods:
I LIKE ALL FOODS!!!!!! Espeshully whatever my laydee is eeting, because she eats the MOST DELISHUS FOODS. I like to steel them by grabbing them with my teefs and then running away.

6) 4 places I would rather be:
-On the laydee's lap, eating some of her foods!!! Kismet says that she has to go see her frend Mr. Jahb most days, but she always comes home at nite and gives us the foods!!!!
-In the big wite box where the laydee gets all wet in. I like to sit in there and look out from behynd the kurtin!!!
-Pooping!!! I like to poop.
-Hyding under the kowch and attacking the laydees feetses!!

7) 4 toys I have owned and played with:
-My fayvrit bloo fether wand from Danyel!
-The fuzzy wite snoball toy
-The feetses of the laydees
-My bruther Kismet!! He is the bestest toy, espeshully his TAYL!

8) 4 nicknames my family like to call me:
-Soapy
-S Katty Kat. That is my rapper naym.
-Just a little soapsoap
-My bruther and the other laydee who livs with my laydee calls me a skavinjer, because I am so good at finding the foods!!

9) Regarding Catnip:
-I have never had catnip!!!

10) Regarding Cat Grass:
-My bruther REELY loves cat grass so I just let him eat it all. But I am shur I would like it because I LOVE ALL FOODS!!!

11) First 4 I'd buy after winning lottery:
-Lots of the foodses that the laydee eats, like peetzuh and ryse kayks!!!
-Some shurts for my bruther.
-LOTS more toys!!!!!
-Probablee just some nice things for the laydees.

12) 4 things I do besides eat, sleep, litterbox:
-I poops a lot!!! I know it says BESIDES litterbox but sometimes I don't poops in the box, and anyways I poops enough that it needs to be menchinned again.
-Chase my bruther around the apartment
-Sit on the laydee's lap and purr real loud
-Attack the vishus danglee things

13) 4 things I want to do this summer:
-Attack the vishus danglee things
-Try to get better at the poopsing
-Play with my bruther
-Try MANY new foods!!!!

14) My 4 most prized possessions with limited value:
-My bruther Kismet
-My wite fuzzy snoball toy
-My foods dishes, because that's where my foods goes
-My cat tent!!!!

15) What I’ll do before tomorrow is over:
-Have a bath
-Make shur that my bruther's tayl is not twitching too much because if it is I have to attack it!!
-Follow my bruther around
-Run away from the scaree laydee who loves me a lot
-Lick my laydee's hands and sit on her lap too

16) Favorite place to hide and play?
I like to hide under the kowch! But I will play anywhere.

17) 4 other "pets" your staff have kept:
-My laydee just has my bruther, but when I lived owtside in Rohd Aylind I lived with a bunch of other kitties! Including my mom and dad, who were both ornj, just like me!

I also want to inklood this pikchur of my ear. This is one of the laydee's most fayvrit things about me! Even though I am very ornj, I have two small black dots on my ear! The laydees call them my fashun axsesoreez. I only have two shurts so far, but the dots do match both of them!!
They do not look so very dark in this pikchur, but in reel lyfe, they are!! Thanks for tayging me, nice doggy!!!