Thursday Thirteen

1. The VETS called my Person and said that all of Sophie's test results came back normal which I guess means that she passed, but I don't think it means she gets to grajooyate from anything, just that she probably doesn't have pankreea-tytus. The VETS said they are still not exactly sure what was wrong with my sister, but that she MIGHT still have pankreea-tytus, or maybe she just had a virus, or maybe her bowels are irritable. I have never talked to Sophie's bowels so I can't tell you if they are cranky, but they sure do stink sometimes. Anyways the VETS said my Person should just keep feeding Sophie her new foods and monitor her poops. I did not offer to help.


Beware of the back end, innernets.

2. Sophie is now eating different foods than me. She likes the new foods okay but not as much as she likes my foods, so she eats them slower. Because of this I eat my foods in the human litterbox room. (It is very undignified to eat in there, but I have to go where my Person puts the foods.) I am a big dude so I eat really fast and then I mraw mraw and paw at the door because I KNOW that Sophie's foods are out there and she hasn't finished them and if you SNOOZE YOU LOSE, KID, LET ME AT THOSE FOODS, but my Person never lets me out to eat them because she does not understand the rules of eating the foods.

3. This annoys me but so far I have not peed on anything even once about it.

4. But when my Person got back from visiting potenshul new friend Jahb, I did try to pee in her suitcase. Twice. But she caught me. Twice. She still has not unpacked the suitcase, but to keep me from peeing in it she just makes sure to keep it closed.

5. So now I sleep on it instead. HAHA PERSON!



6. My Person is talking to someone else who knows potenshul friend Jahb tomorrow morning and she said she hopes that Jahb will decide if he wants to be friends with her soon after that. I hope he decides soon and that he decides yes, because the friend Jahb my Person hangs out with now takes up way too much of her time.

7. By the time she gets home I have so much stuff to tell her that I just follow her around and mraw mraw for hours and it takes away from the other manly stuff that I need to be doing, like cleaning my whisker humps and prowling for hidden foods and watching the cat TV and ignoring that rabbit that lives here.


He doesn't help with the patrols or ANYTHING.

8. When we lived in Virjinya my Person's friend Jahb only took SOME of her time and I only had to mraw mraw at her about stuff for a little while before she was all caught up. It was a much better balance and my life was not quite so HARD then.

9. Sadie was wondering if I still wear shirts. (How YOU doin', Sadie?) All of my mancat shirts are in a place called Storij. Most of my Person's stuff is there since we had to move back to Whiskonsin so suddenly. HOPEFULLY if potenshul new friend Jahb decides he wants to be friends with my Person, she can go to Storij and get her stuff (and MY shirts). But for now, I am nude all the time. Drink it in, laydeez.



10. Right now the partment we are living in is in a big huge building of lots of partments so I have not had a chance to run Out There. But sometimes when my Person comes in the partment I TAKE OFF into the hallway! It is a very long hallway and I just trot down it, mraw mrawing the whole time so that any persons I pass know who I am and that I am a big dude who lives by them, just in case they didn't know. I never get too far before my Person comes out and scoops me up and says, "Where do you think you are going?" And I am all, "Down the hall, Person," which I think is pretty obvious, innernets, espeshully since she SAW ME GOING DOWN THERE, but my Person does not understand these things.

11. I have not gone into the hallway lately because the HOTS are here. I hate the HOTS. My Person has kept it nice and cool in the partment for us, so I am not going into that hallway no way no how, except if my Person left the door open I would HAVE TO even though the HOTS are out there, just because exploring is a manly thing to do so I would have no choice.

12. Obveeissly, those types of responsibilities come with being a man cat. It is hard to be me.


Thinking about my hardships.

13. I am glad that so many of my friends are still blogging and that so many people still remember me (not that I REALLY thought you would forget me, but who knows?). It is good to be back, innernets!

Man Cat Monday

But first a little update on my sister. After staying at the VETS while my Person was gone meeting potenshul new friend Jahb, Sophie is back home and doing fine. She is still not 100 percent herself, but she is a LOT more herself than she was last week, which means I have hissed and growled at her some because she has started bugging me again. My Person considers this a good sign, but I think it is mostly just annoying. We are both eating the foods and pooping. The VETS is sending Sophie's test out today and we may not get her scores until next week which is like A YEAR, so for now we are just hanging out and waiting. But for now things are good!

My Person said she liked potenshul new friend Jahb, but she has to talk to some more people who know him. But the other people who know him that she already talked to said that things look good and we should hear about that by the end of this week.

ANYWAY, ON TO THE IMPORTANT STUFF, NAMELY ME.

If you are new to my blog you may not know this, but I am the original man cat and I invented Man Cat Monday. I thought it would be a good way for man cats around the innernets to be manly, and also to get pointers from me on how to be a big man cat. So if you are participating in Man Cat Monday today, leave me a comment and let me know so I can come check you out.

Here is me for Man Cat Monday:


Watching the cat TV. Note how I totally ignore my Person and the camera. That is because I am too busy watching the cat TV to pay any attention to her. This is very manly.


Exploring the 'partment. I always look around for foods or other cats or vishus things that could get me or my Person. This is obviously very manly.


Showing off my ear hair and my whisker humps. Both manly.

Happy man cat Monday, innernets! I hope your day is manly. Let me know if you are participating!

Whisker Hump Wednesday

One of the most important things about being a really big man cat is making sure your whisker humps are big. I have GINORMOUS whisker humps! I also have very big man paws. In these pikchurs, which are called Polaroyds (I think because they come from the North Pole, because they have white edges, like snow), you can see both my whisker humps and my man paws.



For comparison, please notice that although Sophie's tail is very floofy, she does not have man paws or big whisker humps. This really proves that only man cats have this stuff.



I hope you have enjoyed this informative post. Please feel free to contact me with any man cat-related questions.

PSSST

Pssssst....innernets!!





REMEMBER ME????

I am going to do a Thursday 13 to explain why I have not been blogging FOREVER.

1. Mac, the mancat compyooter, went dead for awhile. He seems to be ok now. But he was dead!
2. My Person had to go see Mr. Nooz Byurow every day for a long time and she would turn Mac, the mancat compyooter, off when she left. But I think she had a fight with Mr. Nooz Byurow, because she is not going to see him anymore!
3. Mr. Nooz Byurow + Brad Skool = GRUMPY PERSON
4. I have spent LOTS of time trying to figure out ways to get out of the partment to Out There. So far this has not really worked. My ideas have inkloodid: digging through the cat TV, scratching at the door with my big man paws, running out the door whenever it is opened which gets me in Big Trouble, making very sad mraw mraw noises at the door. Since none of these have really WORKED, I am spending lots of time trying NEW things, which are also not working. Getting Out There is very hard.
5. We went to the VETS, and if you have been reading my blog for awhile, you know that this makes me VERY GROUCHY AND I MRAW MRAW AND HISS AND SOMETIMES BAT AT MY PERSON'S FACE AND EYEBALLS, WHICH IS NOT VERY NICE BUT WHAT DID YOU EXPECT TO HAPPEN, PERSON, AND EVEN THOUGH THIS VETS WAS DIFFERENT THAN THE ONE IN BROOKLYN THEY STILL BROUGHT OUT THE HAWK GLOVES FOR ME. THAT'S RIGHT, VETS!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!! Also Sophie gets very scared when we go to the VETS and it makes her go poop in the carrier THAT I HAVE TO SHARE WITH HER. AND IT SMELLS. AND STICKS TO ME. This made me grouchy enough that I did not want to talk to anyone. Not even you, innernets. I am sorry.
6. It is starting to get HOTS. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
7. In Brooklyn, one of my favorite places to sleep was on the people TV on top of the cable box. In Merruhlind, we don't HAVE a big cable box. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
8. We are on some sort of weird foods schedule. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
9. Sophie STILL wants to play ALL THE TIME. THIS ALSO MAKES ME GROUCHY. I AM TRYING TO CLEAN MY TOES SOMETIMES.
10. I think those are maybe all of the things that made me grouchy lately. I have also been busy threatening the many wild cats that come onto our cat TV. There is a orange cat that my Person calls Sammy. He is ALMOST BIGGER THAN ME, and he comes on the cat TV every night, and I sit and mraw mraw at him. There is another orange cat too. This cat never had a ballsectomy, so my Person just calls him ballscat. Ballscat is not bigger than me, but he does have balls. So I mraw mraw EXTRA at him.
11. None of the cats on the cat TV are lady cats. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
12. Sophie has been having hairballs all over the place. My Person gives her hairball stuff to make this better. The hairball stuff smells like toona, so I get excited when it comes out and I try to eat it, but it just sticks to my whiskers and then I have to clean it and that ALSO MAKES ME GROUCHY.
13. What can I say, innernets? I'm a busy dude.

But, now that Brad Skool is almost done (I guess that means he is going to go dead), I will have more time to blog. This makes me NOT grouchy! So if any of my friends from the innernets are still checking up on me, I should be around more often.

Here is a bonus picture of my furchin for my lady friends:



I'm sure Sophie will be around too. (SIGH)

Man Cat Monday

Sup innernets. I wanted to post a HAPPY NEW YEAR blog and a KRISMISS blog but my Person LEFT US ALONE FOREVER AND EVER. It was not SO bad because some lady came and gave us the foods and cleaned our poops (cleaned them much better than my Person does, too), but I get VERY GRUMPY when my Person leaves me alone with Sophie for a LONG TIME.

Anyway, since I haven't been able to blog FOREVER, I didn't even get to tell you what my new year's rezolooshins are. I did not make too many because I think I am pretty good at being my man cat self, but I did make two. The first one is to blog more. This is not really under my control because my Person controls Mack, the man cat computer, but I am going to try anyway. And my second rezolooshin is to be an even better man cat than I have been.

Which explains this picture:



Normally I do not like to be this close to Sophie, but while my Person was gone we had a LOT of time together, and while she is still VERY ANNOYING most of the time - like I don't want to play all the time, I have THINGS to do, like clean my toes and do my patrols and knock things off the dresser - it is nice of her to give me a bath. And I think a good man cat - one who might be tired from doing all his man cat stuff, for example - would just take the bath and try to enjoy it. So I did!

I hope all of my blogging friends had good new yearses and Krissmisses. I am also going to try to comment on other blogs more TOO. The year of Kismet!

BUSY!

I have been VERY busy helping my Person with Brad Skool.



That is us working on some Brad Skool stuff.

I don't like Brad Skool. He takes ALL my Person's time and makes her sleepy and growchy. I peed on some magazeens to express my MAD, but my Person didn't even notice because she is so busy with Brad Skool.

BRAD SKOOL IS STOOPID.

Man Cat Monday

WELL INNERNETS. WE MEET AGAIN.

The innernets and I have not been getting along lately. The innernets, in fact, has not even BEEN IN MY PARTMENT for MANY WEEKS NOW. My Person was only able to find the innernets Out There, and since my Person DOES NOT REALLY LET ME GO OUT THERE, I could not use the innernets. This has made me very grouchy. I would have mraw'd to fix the rowter, but there was not even a rowter to fix until today, and then some other guy came into my partment and fixed it before my Person even gave me a chance. IN FACT, she locked me in the bedroom while he was here! She probably did not want him to be jealous about my innernets-fixing-skills. I guess I can understand that.

Anyway, but I have innernets now, innernets! SO NOW I GET TO FINALLY POST!

So I am posting a Man Cat Monday post. It has been a VERY LONG TIME since I have been able to do this so I hope that I remember how!





This is me weighing in on the scale in the person litterbox room. I do this every single day. I know that this might not SEEM very manly, but it is very important to keep an eye on your fizeek. You do not want to start losing weight, because that will make you smaller and so not so much of a BIG MAN CAT. But you also do not want to get fat! It is a delicate balance, being a man cat. I find that my sea lion yoga really helps me keep my bulk in check!

If your persons have a scale, I recommend weighing in!

Now that I have gotten the innernets into shape, I hope to post more often. Also, my fifth birthday is coming SOON! It is on Wednesday! That will also be two years that I have been with my Person. I hope she is getting me something good. And manly.

How persons get to my blog - Thursday Thirteen

Sup innernets. I have not done a Thursday Thirteen post in a LONG time, so I thought I would do one today. I found some time in my very busy schedule, which includes things like pushing the empty foods dishes around the kitchen floor and peeing on my Person's magazeens.

Here are thirteen search frayziz that persons use to get to my blog. Some of them make perfect sense and some of them are VERY weird, which just proves that persons do not always know what is going on, espeshully on the innernets. Maybe they need me to come fix their rowters?

1. mancat

Well, this makes sense. I am a big man cat! I hope that persons who come to my blog looking for man cats find exactly what they are looking for. I hope that they are not confyoozed by the Sophie posts, because Sophie is NOT a big man cat.

2. meen big cats

I am kind of confyoozed by this one, because even though I am a very big cat, I am not meen! I am very grouchy a lot, but I have very good reasons to be grouchy. Like a tiny orange cat who bites my tail and follows me around, or a Person who does not want to give me my foods EXACTLY WHEN I WANT THEM AND THEN SOMETIMES SHE LOCKS ME OUT OF THE ROOM. But not meen!

3. do cats sniff other cats bottoms

Well. Yes. We do. Sometimes. I hope you found my blog useful, person who searched for this! I also hope that you do not have to sniff Sophie's bottom, because it is usually stinky and sometimes has poops on it.

4. cheez its popcorn

These are some of my most favorite foods! Cheez Its MUCH more than popcorn, but I will try the popcorn sometimes. The best way to eat Cheez Its, I have found, is to take the whole cracker into your mouth and crunch it into small pieces, and then spit the pieces back out and eat them one by one. Not only does this keep you from chewing with your mouth full - which is very undignified - but it makes the Cheez It last longer too. Persons tend to just eat MANY CHEEZ ITS AT ONE TIME, THE WHOLE CRACKERS, which is very gross. So I hope whoever searched for this learned how to do it the right way!

5. i love ruffles

I DO NOT LOVE RUFFLES. SOPHIE LOVES RUFFLES. MAYBE SOPHIE SHOULD GET HER OWN BLOG SO PERSONS DO NOT THINK THAT MAN CATS LOVE RUFFLES.

6. very pretty big cats

Hmm. I am not sure what to make of this one. I am HANDSOME, not pretty. But I am big. I guess maybe some girl persons might think I am pretty if they did not know I was a man cat. I think that this is probably okay.

7. cat is very stinky

Yes. Sophie is very stinky. I hope that if you use this to find my blog, you understand that I FEEL YOUR PAIN.

8. chiwahwahs

As you might know if you have been reading my blog for awhile, before I came to live with my Person, I roamed the streets with a gang of chiwahwahs. I was their leader, because chiwahwahs are VERY small and they needed a big man to defend them. I wonder if some of my old chiwahwah friends were looking for me! If so, hi guys! I am good and still big.

9. lyrics a big man like you gosh dem

...I am not sure what this means, innernets. I am a big man. I can rap. But I do not think I have ever posted my rap lyrics here. Maybe this person was looking for inspirayshun for a rap song about a big man. Make sure to send it to me when you are done!

10. my cat is a real man

I am a real man TOO! Maybe your cat and I should get to know each other. I am always looking for new man cats to be friends with!

11. cat what makes the scared

Hmm. This is a very good question. I do not really get scared, ever. Sophie gets scared a LOT. Things that scare Sophie: the door opening, when I go Out There, when persons pick her up, loud noises, when my Person cleans the poop boxes, persons she doesn't know...these are just a few. There are MANY things that can scare Sophie cats. I hope this answers your question.

12. wet hots

Sometimes I do get wet, because I like to drink water from the fawsit, and when I stick my head under there my whisker humps and my face get wet. And I HATE THE HOTS. THE HOTS MAKE ME VERY GROUCHY. And sometimes the hots can be wet too! My blog was probably exactly what this person was looking for.

13. dogs pikchurs

THIS IS A CAT BLOG. THE ONLY PICTURE OF A DOG THAT IS HERE IS THAT DOG THAT STAYED IN MY PARTMENT WITHOUT ASKING MY PERMISSION FIRST. HE WAS VERY HAPPY. BECAUSE HE THOUGHT THAT I WAS HIS TOY. YOU ARE IN THE WRONG PLACE!!!!!

I hope you have enjoyed my Thursday Thirteen post. And that, if you have found my blog by searching the innernets, you found what you were looking for. Feel free to email me if you need more help!

Man Cat Monday

My favorite place to lay is on the back of the couch. I stretch out, which means I take up a LOT of space because I am VERY long, and I let my paws dangle, and I put my head down. It is very comfy. I call it my cat yoga, because there are certain poses that I do. When I do my yoga, my Person says that I look like a little sea lion.





PERSONALLY I do not see the resemblance. I am a very big man cat, and these sea lions do not seem very vishus. But, I did name some of my yoga poses after the sea lions, because you are supposed to name yoga poses after animals.

This is forward-facing sea lion:

This is backward-facing sea lion:
Man cat lives are very stressful and it is important to do things like sea lion yoga to de-stress. Give it a try the next time you are stressed out, like from maybe NOT GETTING THE FOODS WHEN YOU WANT THE FOODS or having SMALL ORNJ CATS ATTACK YOUR TAIL WHICH IS NOT A TOY. It helps!

MOVED!

I LIVE IN MERRUHLIND NOW INNERNETS!!! And LET ME TELL YOU, it has been quite a PROCESS getting here. I have read on other blogs about movable masheens that other cats' persons have, and I was never very sure what they were talking about, but after all of my furniture and belongings, including my LITTER BOX, were taken out of my partment in Brooklyn, I was shoved into the prison box with Sophie, and put in the BIG LOUD MASHEEN.

WELL.

AND THEN IT STARTED MOVING.

Sophie just curled up and got scared and stayed in the corner, but I just got MAD. MAD! So first I mraw mraw mraw'd real loud, and my Person said "it's ok, Kismet!" very many times, and stuck her fingers in the prison bars so I would know she was right there, but clearly it was NOT OK AND I DO NOT KNOW WHAT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT, so then I did what I had to do.

I pooped.
In the prison box.

And my Person had to open the door of the prison box to get the poop out, which she did not seem to enjoy, and as soon as she did that I walked right out of that box and settled myself on her lap. And I got to watch all of the sights flying by! Like we went over a bridge, but not the rainbow bridge, at least I don't think so, because I seem to be okay and still HERE, and I stood up and looked out the window, and then eventually I just settled down on my Person's lap.

We drove to a place where my Person and Sophie and me got into a whole DIFFERENT masheen, and in that one my Person had to drive, and so I had to stay in the prison box. But after all of the pooping and walking around the other masheen I was actually kind of sleepy, and Sophie was still REAL SCARED, so I tried to be a nice big bruther and I cuddled with her and gave her a bath while she was sleeping. This was nice on TWO counts, because she was stinky after sitting on my poops for a little while, and because it is nice to have someone to cuddle with when you are scared.

Anyway, so after many many YEARS in the masheen, we FINALLY got to our new home in Merruhlind. Our partment in Brooklyn was high up in the sky, but our partment in Merruhlind is very low. When I watch the cat teevees, it is like I am RIGHT ON THE GROUND! And because the partment is so close to the ground, it is VERY cool inside, which is nice, because our partment in Brooklyn got SO HOTS in the summer, and the HOTS make me real grouchy. And HOTS.

When we got to the partment all I wanted to do was EXPLORE, and make sure there was no other cats or foods hanging around, but my Person just shut me and Sophie up in the bedroom while she brought all of her stuff in. I was real mad and mraw mraw'd a lot but Sophie was still scared so she hid in the closet, so I could not mraw a WHOLE LOT, because I had to make sure Sophie was okay.

After all of the stuffs was brought in, my Person had to put some furniture together. So I helped, because putting stuffs together is a real man cat thing to do. First, I looked at the directions.
Because I am a big man cat I actually prefer to not read the directions and just put things together, because I don't NEED to read the directions, because I just KNOW where everything goes, because I am a BIG MAN CAT, but the lady persons get upset if you don't read them so I had to do it. After looking at them for a minute, I then made sure that all of the pieces were there.
Here I am giving them a good sniff. After making sure all the pieces are there it is very important to give them a smell to make sure that they have not been peed on or that there are not any foods or other cats hiding in there.

Then I took a bath.
It's important to stay clean when you are assembling furniture because you don't want the furniture to get all dirty because YOU are dirty! Then, I used my very big claws to open the boxes, and then I was kinda tired so I took a break.
Putting stuff together is VERY tiring, so after I sat for awhile I realized that I didn't really want to do anymore, so I took on the role of supervisor. I just helped my Person and her person (Bonnie from Whiskonsin, who is her mom) put the stuff together - I told them where the parts went, and they followed my instructions.
It worked out pretty well and now we have lots of furniture!

Besides helping to put stuff together, I have just been trying to help my Person adjust to the new partment and to hanging out with Brad Skool. Brad gives my Person lots of stuff to read and she has also started reading this thing called the newspaper. She reads it every single day, and the newspaper is very nice to sit your booty on, and Sophie also likes to eat it, because Sophie likes to eat everything. So, we have to sit with my Person while she does all of her reading. She is also gone a LOT less than she was when she was hanging out with Jahb, so all in all I think that I approve of Merruhlind and Brad Skool, but I do miss the eff trayn and that person who lived with my Person in Brooklyn.

Now that I am settled, I can blog more! I am very excited about this, and I hope everyone still remembers who I am!

Also, just so you know, Sophie is just fine now. My Person said that she thinks that Sophie was REAL scared because the only other time that Sophie has been in a movable masheen was when she was brought to live with us in Brooklyn, and so Sophie probably thought she was going to live with a new person again. But after a few days she was just fine. I, of course, was never worried, because I know that my Person could never go anywhere without me, because I am the best and cleanest big man cat ever in her whole life. And of course, she could not put together the furniture unless I was here.