PSSST

Pssssst....innernets!!





REMEMBER ME????

I am going to do a Thursday 13 to explain why I have not been blogging FOREVER.

1. Mac, the mancat compyooter, went dead for awhile. He seems to be ok now. But he was dead!
2. My Person had to go see Mr. Nooz Byurow every day for a long time and she would turn Mac, the mancat compyooter, off when she left. But I think she had a fight with Mr. Nooz Byurow, because she is not going to see him anymore!
3. Mr. Nooz Byurow + Brad Skool = GRUMPY PERSON
4. I have spent LOTS of time trying to figure out ways to get out of the partment to Out There. So far this has not really worked. My ideas have inkloodid: digging through the cat TV, scratching at the door with my big man paws, running out the door whenever it is opened which gets me in Big Trouble, making very sad mraw mraw noises at the door. Since none of these have really WORKED, I am spending lots of time trying NEW things, which are also not working. Getting Out There is very hard.
5. We went to the VETS, and if you have been reading my blog for awhile, you know that this makes me VERY GROUCHY AND I MRAW MRAW AND HISS AND SOMETIMES BAT AT MY PERSON'S FACE AND EYEBALLS, WHICH IS NOT VERY NICE BUT WHAT DID YOU EXPECT TO HAPPEN, PERSON, AND EVEN THOUGH THIS VETS WAS DIFFERENT THAN THE ONE IN BROOKLYN THEY STILL BROUGHT OUT THE HAWK GLOVES FOR ME. THAT'S RIGHT, VETS!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!! Also Sophie gets very scared when we go to the VETS and it makes her go poop in the carrier THAT I HAVE TO SHARE WITH HER. AND IT SMELLS. AND STICKS TO ME. This made me grouchy enough that I did not want to talk to anyone. Not even you, innernets. I am sorry.
6. It is starting to get HOTS. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
7. In Brooklyn, one of my favorite places to sleep was on the people TV on top of the cable box. In Merruhlind, we don't HAVE a big cable box. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
8. We are on some sort of weird foods schedule. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
9. Sophie STILL wants to play ALL THE TIME. THIS ALSO MAKES ME GROUCHY. I AM TRYING TO CLEAN MY TOES SOMETIMES.
10. I think those are maybe all of the things that made me grouchy lately. I have also been busy threatening the many wild cats that come onto our cat TV. There is a orange cat that my Person calls Sammy. He is ALMOST BIGGER THAN ME, and he comes on the cat TV every night, and I sit and mraw mraw at him. There is another orange cat too. This cat never had a ballsectomy, so my Person just calls him ballscat. Ballscat is not bigger than me, but he does have balls. So I mraw mraw EXTRA at him.
11. None of the cats on the cat TV are lady cats. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
12. Sophie has been having hairballs all over the place. My Person gives her hairball stuff to make this better. The hairball stuff smells like toona, so I get excited when it comes out and I try to eat it, but it just sticks to my whiskers and then I have to clean it and that ALSO MAKES ME GROUCHY.
13. What can I say, innernets? I'm a busy dude.

But, now that Brad Skool is almost done (I guess that means he is going to go dead), I will have more time to blog. This makes me NOT grouchy! So if any of my friends from the innernets are still checking up on me, I should be around more often.

Here is a bonus picture of my furchin for my lady friends:



I'm sure Sophie will be around too. (SIGH)

Man Cat Monday

WELL INNERNETS. WE MEET AGAIN.

The innernets and I have not been getting along lately. The innernets, in fact, has not even BEEN IN MY PARTMENT for MANY WEEKS NOW. My Person was only able to find the innernets Out There, and since my Person DOES NOT REALLY LET ME GO OUT THERE, I could not use the innernets. This has made me very grouchy. I would have mraw'd to fix the rowter, but there was not even a rowter to fix until today, and then some other guy came into my partment and fixed it before my Person even gave me a chance. IN FACT, she locked me in the bedroom while he was here! She probably did not want him to be jealous about my innernets-fixing-skills. I guess I can understand that.

Anyway, but I have innernets now, innernets! SO NOW I GET TO FINALLY POST!

So I am posting a Man Cat Monday post. It has been a VERY LONG TIME since I have been able to do this so I hope that I remember how!





This is me weighing in on the scale in the person litterbox room. I do this every single day. I know that this might not SEEM very manly, but it is very important to keep an eye on your fizeek. You do not want to start losing weight, because that will make you smaller and so not so much of a BIG MAN CAT. But you also do not want to get fat! It is a delicate balance, being a man cat. I find that my sea lion yoga really helps me keep my bulk in check!

If your persons have a scale, I recommend weighing in!

Now that I have gotten the innernets into shape, I hope to post more often. Also, my fifth birthday is coming SOON! It is on Wednesday! That will also be two years that I have been with my Person. I hope she is getting me something good. And manly.

Man Cat Monday (sort of)

I am sort of doing a Man Cat Monday post. I say sort of, because I am including a picture of my sister Sophie. I do not want to cause any CONFYOOZHIN, so I just want to make sure that everyone understands that Sophie is NOT a man cat. But lately, we have been reading a lot:
As you can see, I prefer grownup and manly books like Seabiscuit. This is a book about a horse, which is a big man type of creechur. Sophie on the other paw likes smaller pink books with titles like "Girl Talk". My Person says these are seereez, and that they are about teenage girls. I don't know what that means but I do know that this is nothing I am interested in reading, ever. But reading in general is a very good thing to do and can be either manly or wo-manly, depending on what you choose.

This weekend I also fixed the innernets, because my Person and that person who lives with my Person could not figure out how to get it to work. So I came to the rescue!
Those boxes are called rowters. They are what make the innernets come into my apartment. I think they do this by mraw mrawing and scaring the innernets into doing what they want, and that is why they are called ROW-ters. But their mrawing was not scaring the innernets enough because there was no innernets for awhile. So I sat my booty down next to them and cleaned my big man paws right in front of them and this seemed to make them understand exactly who is boss! I also mraw mraw'd a few times so the rowters would remember how to do it themselves. All of this is pretty manly, plus fixing things is manly all of the time.