My bachelor weekend

My Person is leaving today to meet her potenshul new friend Jahb, and she is taking Mac the mancat computer with her, so I won't be able to blog while she is gone (did she ask me if this was okay? No. No she did not). Sophie is going to the VETS while my Person is gone and Henry, the rabbit we live with, is at bunny camp, so I have the whole 'partment to myself. I can't decide what I will do. Maybe open a cigar bar or have some ladies over.


Decisions are exhausting.

Anyway, I wanted to let all of you know that my sister ate all of her foods while she was home AND she pooped! She did not each much breakfast yesterday, but my Person figured out a little later that it's because Sophie does NOT like cold foods. (I tried to explain that FOODS IS FOODS, KID, but she did not care.)

While she is at the VETS they will give her a lot of digestive tests, and just between you and me, innernets, I don't know how that's going to go, because I don't know how smart Sophie's digestives are. One of those tests is supposed to tell us if she has pancreeya-tytus, so we should know by the time my Person gets back! So if you could keep the purrs coming that would be great.

Let me know if anyone wants to come over while my Person is gone. I have two litterboxes all to myself and a big bed to sleep on and a whole WALL of cat TVs! Otherwise I will talk to you in a few days, innernets!

update!

SUP INNERNETS!!! I am sorry it has been so long since I have posted. I know some of you have been worried about me but DO NOT WORRY, innernets friends, I am doing fine! I am still ginormous and me and my man paws and my very large whisker humps are doing well!

I have been on my Enalapril and my Lasix for almost two months now and I am back to acting like my normal man cat self. I love my FOODS, and Sophie BUGS ME sometimes, and I like to sit on the side of the persons water box and mraw mraw mraw, and I knock things off the dresser at night and I hump my Person and I am VERY dignified. If you didn't know my heart was broked, you would think I am just a big dude going about his big dude life. Except for the parts of me that they undignifiedly shaved. Those are still growing back.

I am sorry that I have not been very good at updating and that I made some of you worried! I promise to try to be better because there are still many THINGS I feel the world should know about, like how Sophie is afraid of string cheese (HELLO IT IS CHEESE) and how I just ate some Cheez-Its today, and how there's a bunny that lives with us now and he is weird. Whatever.

My Person also asked me to beg your forgiveness because she is still working on thank-yous for everyone who donated us the dollaz. I don't really beg on account of I'm a big dude but she is sorry.

To prove to you that I am still me, here is a pikshur! I am not one to brag but I am still pretty handsome, even with a broked heart.



Also, innernets, I really want to thank you again for all the purrs you sent my way when I was not feeling so good and was spending lots of time camping in oxyjin tents. They made me feel better but they REALLY made my Person feel like she was not so alone. It is normally my job to do that, and you really stepped in when I couldn't do it for her. So thank you again. You guys are awesome, and not just cuz you respect the whisker humps, if you know what I mean.

The verdict

I JUST got back from my check-up at the VETS. My Person came home in the middle of the day and I WAS excited, because I like my Person, on account of she gives me the foods, but she just came in and gave me and Sophie a treat (which, don't get me started, why does SOPHIE get a treat, did SHE have to go to the VETS, I DON'T THINK SO) and scooped me up and put me in the prison box. But I have to tell you, innernets, that even though I pretty much figured I was going to the VETS, because these days I am always going to the VETS, I didn't really mind the prison box so much, because I like riding in the car.

Don't worry, though, because as soon as we got to the VETS I started growling and mrawing and hissing and just generally letting everyone there know that yes, I am a big dude, and you shouldn't mess with me. They took me into the examinayshun room and my Person opened the prison box, and then all sorts of VETS people started coming in because they wanted to see me and how I was doing. I don't know how they knew me, though. I mean, I spent a lot of time at the VETS recently, but those people see a lot of cats, so I figure they must know me from my fame on the innernets and from my fame from just being a big dude. Anyway, they all said I was handsome and didn't try to touch me, so I didn't mind that too much, especially since they were all lady persons, which are my favorite kind, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, they weighed me, and I have gained back a whole pound, which made my Person happy because for awhile there I was not very interested in my foods (I KNOW, RIGHT?) and I lost about two pounds. Don't worry, though, innernets, even when I was down two pounds, I was still really big, and you can't lose weight in your whisker humps or your paws so it never really showed.

Then the VETS came in and he just blabbed and blabbed to my Person about this medicine and that medicine. I didn't really listen because I was very busy being on the floor and sniffing everything out. I did let that VETS pet me once though because he did kinda save my life that one time (okay, a few times). But I only let him pet me ONCE because I don't want him getting the wrong idea. And when he tried to listen to my heart and my lungs I made sure to growl REAL loud so he couldn't hear anything. HAHA!

Since I wasn't really LISTENING, I can't tell you everything he said, but I can tell you that he said I look great and seem to be doing great, and he is real excited that I gained some weight, and that since last week I have been on some heart medicines (something called Enalapril and something called Lasix, and I take them every morning, and let me tell you that I don't even MIND, because those medicines come inside a chicken envelope, and I like me some CHICKEN!) and they are really agreeing with me, unlike the medicine I tried that one time (Altenolol) that most definitely disagreed with me, because after I took it I had to spend more time in the oxyjin tent. I like camping as much as the next dude, but I didn't like that tent so much. I would much rather build a blanket fort and hang out with my Person.

Also, my Person is real bad at things, and wants everyone to know that she still has to get around to thanking everyone in the mail for helping us with my VETS bills. I tried to yowl at her and I humped her leg a little to remind her but she's a person, you know, and it was hard enough for me to train her to turn the faucet on when I'm thirsty and to give me my foods when I want it so I'm not sure how much else I can do. I think the point is that she will do it very very soon, and that she thinks about all of my friends every day, and then she gets all sappy and tries to hug me and sometimes I just have STUFF TO DO, PERSON, AND I CAN'T JUST BE HUGGING ALL DAY LONG.

Anyways, I hope that now my blog can just be about me and my man cat-ness and not so much with the VETS because the VETS is boring. I am the main attraction!

The story of my heartsounds

Hello, innernets! I am sober now (it took awhile) and so I can tell you the full story of my ultrasound!

To begin with, the ultrasounds place is very far away from where we live in Virjinya. So we had to ride in the car for a LONG time. One of the persons my Person knows took us in her car and my Person let me sit on her lap the whole time instead of in my prison box. Before we left I inspected the car very thoroughly to make sure there were no foods or other cats or anything vishus hiding in it because you just never know. Unforchunitly, I did not find any foods, but I did walk around on the dashboard for awhile. And while we were driving, I made sure to stand up on my Person's lap and put my very big paws on the windowsill and look outside. I saw some cows (beef!) and I made eyes at lots of other persons in cars but let me tell you, innernets, persons driving in cars are not very ATTENTIVE because none of them seemed to notice me. I can only assume that the car we were in had one-way glass because I don't think there is much of a chance that you could drive by me looking out a window and not notice me, on account of my whisker humps are so big.

When we finally got to the ultrasounds place, my Person put my back in the prison box and we went inside. While my Person was filling out paperwork, some other persons came out with a big brown dog and sat next to my prison box and I growled and hissed at him. And my Person said, "Sorry. He just has a lot of rage." and then the lady person behind the counter made those other persons move the dog away from my prison box, probably because she knew that I could bust out of there and take that dog down if I wanted to. HAHA!

Then they called us back, and my Person carried my prison box into an examinayshun room. She let me out and I prowled around growling while she talked to various VETS persons. And then the actual VETS came in and he grabbed me by my neck and INJECTED ME WITH POISON. I know it was poison because right after he gave it to me I vommed on the floor. And then he waited awhile and I didn't get sleepy, on account of I AM BIG and also because it takes a lot to take down a man cat, so then he INJECTED ME WITH MORE POISON and then I passed out.

Look, I am not PROUD of the passing out, and I woke up with a bunch of my chest hairs gone and some nasty GOO all over me, but at least I know that while I was passed out my eyes didn't close and that really freaked out my Person. That will SHOW HER! YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE KIS-MAN, LADY!

They held me down on a table while they waited for me to wake up and the VETS explained everything about my heart to my Person. I have leaky valves and my heart wall is thick and one of my atriums is enlarged. This is all just fancy talk for my heart doesn't work as good as it should and it makes stuff back up into my lungs, which is why I have been having trouble breathing. They are going to start me on medicines soon, but my regular VETS wants to talk to a heart doctor first because they tried to put my on heart medicines last week and I had a bad reaction to one. I AM A MEDICAL MYSTERY, INNERNETS!

While we wait to hear about the medicines, my Person and I are just hanging out. Today we watched some DVDs and I made biskits on her for awhile, and she fed me some Temptations and some Friskies. Now that I am sober, I am acting as normal as I can because I know it makes my Person feel good.


looking manly. I have to be the little spoon, on account of my Person is bigger than me, but we both know I'm the big spoon in the relationship.

Thanks again for all of your help and purrs, innernets! I will let you know how my heart is doing when I get started on my medicines. I am not happy to have a broked heart, but I am a pretty big dude and I think I will manage with it just fine.

I AM BACK

Sup innernets. This is KISMET MAN CAT, TAKING BACK MY BLOG. Look, I know that I have been feeling sick, but that is NO EXCUSE for my Person to take over MY BLOG. So now that I am home from my second night in the oxyjin tent, I thought I would come update you MYSELF, on account of this is MY BLOG, PERSON.

Basically, the VETS don't know what is wrong with me. They say my heart has a murmur which I think means when they put on their heart-listen-y thing it talks to them, but I don't understand why this is a bad thing, because if they don't WANT it to murmur at them then WHY are they putting on their heart-listen-y thing to listen to it? PERSONS, THEY MAKE NO SENSE.

Anyhoo, so I spent last night in the oxyjin tent and then today at the VETS the VETS were all confyoozed. "He is fine," they said to my Person. "His breething is good, his heart rate is good, and he is eating." (It's true, I did eat the foods at the VETS. I am not proud of this because normally I go on a HUNGER STRIKE at the VETS, but it was free FOODS and I was kind of wanting the FOODS.) When my Person came to pick me up I yowled at her a LOT, and the VETS said they wanted to take a X-ray and could my Person help hold me, because they tried to do it themselves and I wouldn't let them (HAHA!), and so my Person carried me into the X-ray room but I MRAWED and MRAWED and then I ESCAPED from the X-ray room and ran around outside in the other VETS room, and finally they said, just take him home. HAHA!

I am a little sneezy currently, but I am on my noomoanya medicines, and apparently I am having some sort of ultrasound soon (I think that is where they turn up the volume on my heart murmur so it makes a ULTRA noise so they can ULTRA hear it). All I know is that I am home and I am cleaning my whisker humps LOTS so that I don't smell like VETS, and that the VETS better not mess with the man cat, because even when I do not FEEL well, I will not let them do things like X-rays. HAHA!

I also want to thank all my friends on the innernets for sticking by me and my blog even though my Person took it over for awhile. I really appreciate your well wishes and I promise not to sneeze on you or in your general direction.

PSSST

Pssssst....innernets!!





REMEMBER ME????

I am going to do a Thursday 13 to explain why I have not been blogging FOREVER.

1. Mac, the mancat compyooter, went dead for awhile. He seems to be ok now. But he was dead!
2. My Person had to go see Mr. Nooz Byurow every day for a long time and she would turn Mac, the mancat compyooter, off when she left. But I think she had a fight with Mr. Nooz Byurow, because she is not going to see him anymore!
3. Mr. Nooz Byurow + Brad Skool = GRUMPY PERSON
4. I have spent LOTS of time trying to figure out ways to get out of the partment to Out There. So far this has not really worked. My ideas have inkloodid: digging through the cat TV, scratching at the door with my big man paws, running out the door whenever it is opened which gets me in Big Trouble, making very sad mraw mraw noises at the door. Since none of these have really WORKED, I am spending lots of time trying NEW things, which are also not working. Getting Out There is very hard.
5. We went to the VETS, and if you have been reading my blog for awhile, you know that this makes me VERY GROUCHY AND I MRAW MRAW AND HISS AND SOMETIMES BAT AT MY PERSON'S FACE AND EYEBALLS, WHICH IS NOT VERY NICE BUT WHAT DID YOU EXPECT TO HAPPEN, PERSON, AND EVEN THOUGH THIS VETS WAS DIFFERENT THAN THE ONE IN BROOKLYN THEY STILL BROUGHT OUT THE HAWK GLOVES FOR ME. THAT'S RIGHT, VETS!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!! Also Sophie gets very scared when we go to the VETS and it makes her go poop in the carrier THAT I HAVE TO SHARE WITH HER. AND IT SMELLS. AND STICKS TO ME. This made me grouchy enough that I did not want to talk to anyone. Not even you, innernets. I am sorry.
6. It is starting to get HOTS. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
7. In Brooklyn, one of my favorite places to sleep was on the people TV on top of the cable box. In Merruhlind, we don't HAVE a big cable box. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
8. We are on some sort of weird foods schedule. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
9. Sophie STILL wants to play ALL THE TIME. THIS ALSO MAKES ME GROUCHY. I AM TRYING TO CLEAN MY TOES SOMETIMES.
10. I think those are maybe all of the things that made me grouchy lately. I have also been busy threatening the many wild cats that come onto our cat TV. There is a orange cat that my Person calls Sammy. He is ALMOST BIGGER THAN ME, and he comes on the cat TV every night, and I sit and mraw mraw at him. There is another orange cat too. This cat never had a ballsectomy, so my Person just calls him ballscat. Ballscat is not bigger than me, but he does have balls. So I mraw mraw EXTRA at him.
11. None of the cats on the cat TV are lady cats. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
12. Sophie has been having hairballs all over the place. My Person gives her hairball stuff to make this better. The hairball stuff smells like toona, so I get excited when it comes out and I try to eat it, but it just sticks to my whiskers and then I have to clean it and that ALSO MAKES ME GROUCHY.
13. What can I say, innernets? I'm a busy dude.

But, now that Brad Skool is almost done (I guess that means he is going to go dead), I will have more time to blog. This makes me NOT grouchy! So if any of my friends from the innernets are still checking up on me, I should be around more often.

Here is a bonus picture of my furchin for my lady friends:



I'm sure Sophie will be around too. (SIGH)

Seven Strange Things on Sunday

My really great friends Rosie and Cheeto tagged me and Sophie to do the "seven weird things about me" survey. I was GOING to split it, like they did, but instead Sophie and I are each going to list our OWN 7 things, because after all, it is MY blog and so I think I should get 7 all by myself.

OKAY. KISMET:
1. I like to make blanket forts. There is a VERY specific process to this, though. First, my Person has to be laying under the blankets. Then, there has to be a little cave opening in the blanket NATURALLY - NOT one made by my Person. Then, I walk in, and dig with my big man paws, and make sure the blanket fort is strukchurally sound, and if all of that meets with my approval, ONLY THEN will I lay down. You can't just hang out in any blanket, you know.

2. When I get very hungry and grouchy, I push the water dish with my nose so it spills over the sides and the dish makes a great clanky sound on the floor. My Person does not like this.

3. When my Person comes home at night I sit by the door and mraw mraw mraw REAL loud and scratch with my big man paws so she knows I am still inside and that I am waiting for my foods. I think she forgets this stuff sometimes, so I am just trying to remind her.

4. I knock stuff off of EVERYTHING - tables, desks, bookshelves, dressers, chairs, the persons teevee. Your stuff is not safe ANYWHERE, Person! HAHA! It is for your own safety that I do it. Your stuff could be vishus without you knowing!

5. I have to hump sometimes. I only hump my Person, and only her arm or shoulder, and only when she is under a blanket. After I am done humping, I always take a bath and I don't look at my Person right away because I am a little embarrassed.

6. I usually get locked out of my Person's room in the morning because I get HUNGRY and I want my FOODS and so I make noise. And then later on, when my Person doesn't get up right away, I get worried that maybe she is not in there anymore, and has left without giving me my FOODS, or that something vishus that I didn't notice got her, and then I might NEVER get my FOODS, so I scratch at the door with my man paws and I mraw mraw a LOT. Eventually my Person will say "Kis-MET!" and then, because I know she is in there and alive, I stop.

7. I have a LOT of dreems, and when I am dreeming, my big whisker humps twitch and so do my man paws and my back legs, and sometimes I mraw mraw or lick my lips in my sleep. My Person says "Get him Kizzy!" to me while I sleep, just in case I am dreaming of chasing some other big man cats. This shows that she understands that I am a big dude and I could chase down any other big dude, if I wanted to. I think that is nice of her!



HI! I ARE SOPHIE! I ARE VARY ACITED to tell yoo some WEERD things about ME!!!!

1. I LOVE TO EAT FOODS! ANY kind of foods, I will eat them all!! The nyce laydee says I must have been a dawg in a past lyfe. CAN YOO IMAGINE ME, SOPHIE, AS A DAWG??? Some of the foods I lyke to eat are: peetsuh, ryce kayks, cookees, peenut butter, any kind of CHEEZ, ryce, potaytohs, and krakers. I LOVE FOODS!!!

2. Since I moved in with the nyce laydee and my bruther Kismet, I have learned to be a VARY kleen kitty and to kleen my furs and my TOES and my TAYL many times thru owt the day. (I was vary stinky beefor my bruther tawt me to be kleen!) And when I kleen myself, I suck on my furs and I make snorty sownds. The nyce laydee calls it my snorgling. It can be VARY lowd!!

3. When I yawn, I make a hacking sownd that sometimes ascayres the nyce laydee!!

4. One of my whiskers on top of my head is black. Just one!!!!

5. I have 2 black polka dots on one of my eers!!! The nyce laydee sayz they are my fashun axsessorees!!! This meens I am VARY fashunable, even when I am NOOD!!!!

6. I LOVE MY BRUTHER AND THE NYCE LAYDEE A LOT, but I love my bruther MOST of all. I go EVARYWHERE he goes. If we are in a room with the nyce laydee and my bruther leaves, I go with! If we are in bed with the nyce laydee and my bruther leaves, I GO WITH! If my bruther is watching the cat teevee, or poopsing, or knocking things off the dresser, I GO WITH!

My bruther does not always LYKE that, but I CAN'T HELP IT! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!! Plus he is VARY fassinayting.

7. Whenever anyone reeches down to pet me - becuz I are VARY small, yoo know - I stand up on my tippy toes and DIVE into their hand!! I get VARY good pets this way.

I, Kismet, also wanted to say in response to questions on my last post: Sophie NEVER cleans my Spot 13. That is man cat only territory. However, I have cleaned hers before, because it is STINKY AND NEEDS TO BE CLEANED.

I hope you liked our strange things!

Man Cat Monday

Sup innernets. I wanted to post a HAPPY NEW YEAR blog and a KRISMISS blog but my Person LEFT US ALONE FOREVER AND EVER. It was not SO bad because some lady came and gave us the foods and cleaned our poops (cleaned them much better than my Person does, too), but I get VERY GRUMPY when my Person leaves me alone with Sophie for a LONG TIME.

Anyway, since I haven't been able to blog FOREVER, I didn't even get to tell you what my new year's rezolooshins are. I did not make too many because I think I am pretty good at being my man cat self, but I did make two. The first one is to blog more. This is not really under my control because my Person controls Mack, the man cat computer, but I am going to try anyway. And my second rezolooshin is to be an even better man cat than I have been.

Which explains this picture:



Normally I do not like to be this close to Sophie, but while my Person was gone we had a LOT of time together, and while she is still VERY ANNOYING most of the time - like I don't want to play all the time, I have THINGS to do, like clean my toes and do my patrols and knock things off the dresser - it is nice of her to give me a bath. And I think a good man cat - one who might be tired from doing all his man cat stuff, for example - would just take the bath and try to enjoy it. So I did!

I hope all of my blogging friends had good new yearses and Krissmisses. I am also going to try to comment on other blogs more TOO. The year of Kismet!

BUSY!

I have been VERY busy helping my Person with Brad Skool.



That is us working on some Brad Skool stuff.

I don't like Brad Skool. He takes ALL my Person's time and makes her sleepy and growchy. I peed on some magazeens to express my MAD, but my Person didn't even notice because she is so busy with Brad Skool.

BRAD SKOOL IS STOOPID.

Man Cat Monday

WELL INNERNETS. WE MEET AGAIN.

The innernets and I have not been getting along lately. The innernets, in fact, has not even BEEN IN MY PARTMENT for MANY WEEKS NOW. My Person was only able to find the innernets Out There, and since my Person DOES NOT REALLY LET ME GO OUT THERE, I could not use the innernets. This has made me very grouchy. I would have mraw'd to fix the rowter, but there was not even a rowter to fix until today, and then some other guy came into my partment and fixed it before my Person even gave me a chance. IN FACT, she locked me in the bedroom while he was here! She probably did not want him to be jealous about my innernets-fixing-skills. I guess I can understand that.

Anyway, but I have innernets now, innernets! SO NOW I GET TO FINALLY POST!

So I am posting a Man Cat Monday post. It has been a VERY LONG TIME since I have been able to do this so I hope that I remember how!





This is me weighing in on the scale in the person litterbox room. I do this every single day. I know that this might not SEEM very manly, but it is very important to keep an eye on your fizeek. You do not want to start losing weight, because that will make you smaller and so not so much of a BIG MAN CAT. But you also do not want to get fat! It is a delicate balance, being a man cat. I find that my sea lion yoga really helps me keep my bulk in check!

If your persons have a scale, I recommend weighing in!

Now that I have gotten the innernets into shape, I hope to post more often. Also, my fifth birthday is coming SOON! It is on Wednesday! That will also be two years that I have been with my Person. I hope she is getting me something good. And manly.

MOVING?

GUESS WHAT, INNERNETS! I have not been able to blog much lately, and I will not be able to blog much for awhile, because my Person sat down me and Sophie and told us that we are MOVING!

She told us that she is not going to hang out with her friend Jahb anymore. At first I was REAL excited, because my Person leaves to spend time with Jahb almost every single day, and if she is not going to hang out with him anymore, that means she will have more time to hang out with ME! (and Sophie, too, I guess) But THEN she said that instead of Jahb, she is going to go see her friend Brad Skool. I don't know much about Brad Skool, except that he lives in someplace called Merruhlind, and that for her to spend enough time with Brad Skool, we have to go live in Merruhlind!!!

I am not sure how I feel about this. I do not think I am too mad because I have not had the urge to pee on anything. But this means there will be no more eff trayn, and no more partment in Brooklyn, and MAYBE NO MORE JUNGLE EITHER. But my Person says that Merruhlind is not THAT far away and that she is only going to be with Brad Skool for one year, and then she will be the masters of Brad Skool. To be honest this is all kind of CONFYOOZING, but overall it sounds like I might get to see my Person more often so it should be ok.

But anyway, since we are moving, I have to do many things to help my Person get ready, like sit in boxes to make sure that they will hold all of our Friskies, and sweep up the floor with my very big paws so that other persons will want to live in our partment. I will try to blog when I get a chance, but it might be awhile! DONT FORGET ABOUT ME INNERNETS!!

Just me and my pee

Even though the VETS said that my pee is normal (which I knew. It is very smelly and when I pee a lot of it comes out. TOTALLY NORMAL, PERSON), I have still been peeing on the chair a lot. I have been hearing my Person say that she might just get rid of the chair, and I really hope that she does not do this, because peeing on the chair is the BEST! First I hop up onto it and use my very big front feets to clean off the surface. This is very important because you can't just pee on ANYTHING, it has to be clean! So I use my feets to scrape it off. This is also good in case there are some foods or other very tiny cats that you cannot see, because you would not want to pee on either of these things. Then I shake my booty a little bit, and I put my front feets on the back of the chair and lift my tail up and just pee away. It is VERY comfy to pee like this, because the chair is so skwishy and soft. My Person has caught me a few times and everytime she says "Kismet NO! We do NOT pee on the furniture!" and she grabs me and puts me in front of the litterbox. And I just say, mraw mraw Person, obveeisslee WE do not pee on the furniture, I am the one who pees on the furniture MRAW MRAW." And then just to throw her off I use my front feets to sweep up the floor in front of the litterbox, but when she is not looking I go back and pee on the chair. Sometimes it takes two or three tries before I get all of the pee out, but it is worth it to be so comfy!

Since I know that my peeing on the chair makes my Person upset, I have tried to make up for it by being a very good boy in other ways. Like, I keep her company when she is in the big white box pouring water all over herself.
Here I am supervising the pouring of the water. I do not really understand the whole act of pouring water over oneself, but nomatter how loud I sit there and mraw mraw (and sometimes I even reach in to grab her leg and try to pull her OUT), my Person will not stop doing it, so I like to make sure that the water is not too hot for her. Then while she is in there, I catch up on my reading about the famous ladies.
Yesterday, I also helped with the laundry. First, I supervised the folding of the clothes. This is very important, because I like things to be CLEAN! I also particularly liked this shirt because it has the word HAM on it, and I like ham. I know my friends the meezers like it too!
(If you make this picture big, you can see the chair (the one I pee on) in the background. Doesn't it look skwishy and like you want to pee on it too???)
After that, I helped my Person make the bed. This is ALSO important, because I sleep on that bed every night so I HAVE to make sure that there are no mices or other cats hiding underneath the blankets, and I also have to approve of where they are all placed.
This is me giving it the paws of approval.

Anyway, I know my Person doesn't like me peeing on the chair, but with all of the nice good boy things I have been doing lately, how could she REALLY be mad?

The results are IN!

I did not hear about my pee until YESTERDAY because the VETS never called my Person when they said they would! I was kind of fine with this, because I hate the VETS and I also hate hearing about my pee, and just to drive this point home I made sure to pee again on the chair last night. But anyway, my Person heard back from the VETS, after she called them three times, which made her very grouchy, and my pees are fine. WHICH I KNEW ALL ALONG, THANK YOU. My pee's pee aytch is normal and I do not have any crystals, which are sparkly things that girl cats wear, so of course I do not have any. This whole thing was stupid. I should never have had to go to the VETS to begin with.

Anyway, I did not pee on the chair today. My Person said she talked to the nice man who introduced us and that he has given her lots of ideas to stop the peeing on the chair. I just mrawed at her and made sure that she remembered that SOME persons think that I am a HAWK, and maybe she shouldn't mess around with me too much, if you know what I am SAYING.

I am sure that I will pee on the chair again at some point, though. You have to keep your persons on their toes.

EXPLORING....and THE VETS

Ever since the new person that lives with my Person came to live with us (Sophie calls her the "scayree laydee who loves me a LOT"), interesting things have been appearing in the apartment. First it was that great bed for me and now it is this:
I am not exactly sure what it is, but I am pretty sure that it is a present for me and Sophie. I think that Sophie looks very proper sitting underneath this thing so maybe it is a girl cat thing that I do not understand. Anyway, when it showed up Sophie was very quick to jump under it without even inspecting AT ALL! So I had to check it out to make sure that everything was okay, because that is what a good big brother does.
You can see that my tail is a little bushy, because the thing might have been vishus. You can also see that Sophie looks very confused. This is because inspecting and patrolling are man cat things to do, and since I do them, Sophie never has to.
It turned out there was no need to worry. After closer inspection I decided that the thing was NOT vishus, and Sophie sat under it for a long time. What do you guys think it is? Since it is RIGHT outside Sophie's pink cat box, I think it might actually be a present for me - a sheeld to protect me from the litter that she shakes off of her paws and that she kicks out of the box. And if you remember that day when all the poops got on the wall, you will know that I really do need a sheeld! It is also right under the cat tv, and so it might be a thing for cats to sit under when other cats are watching the cat tv. That way if some cats don't feel like watching right then, the episohds will not be ruined for them and they can watch later!

This was the good part of my post. Now for the bad part: I am going to have to go to the VETS soon. I peed on the chair TWICE this week and my Person is real worried because before I came to live with her I had lots of problems with my yurinerry trakt and blocks. I don't know what a yurinerry trakt is, but it means I can't eat dry foods very often, and I also can't play with blocks, because if I get a block it makes the pees not come. Anyway, I tried to remind her that peeing on things is just what I DO - like the couch that I used to pee on sometimes - but she is still worried because she can't remember the last time I peed in a place I was not supposed to more than once in a week. So now we are going to the VETS. And I HATE THE VETS. And thinking about GOING to the VETS just makes me want to PEE MORE. I will be sure to let you know how it goes. Hopefully it will be good for me and bad for the VETS!

SO BUSY

SUP INNERNETS!!! I have been such a busy man cat lately that I have just not had time to blog. I want to thank ALL OF MY INNERNET friends who left me messages and comments, and I ESPESHULLY want to thank Rosie and Cheeto, who even went so far as to make a missing poster for me. I am real sorry that I made everyone so worried. But rest ushered that I am fine!

Here are some of the things that have been happening. First of all it was Saynt Patrick's Day last weekend. This is a day where all the persons wear green and pretend that they are Irish, and they drink things that are sometimes also green. Sophie has orange fur, so my Person thinks she is definitely Irish (something about how all redheads are, which I do not really understand, because Sophie's head is not red, and like I just said her fur is ORANGE), but since I am a very handsome brown and black and grey color, my Person decided to give me some green stuff to wear.

The thing around my neck is called a bandanna. I got it from my Aunt Amy, who has many meezer cats. Her meezer cats work with her in her doctor's office - she is a doctor for real tiny persons who have trouble paying attention in school. And they have bandannas for EVERY HOLIDAY EVER. I have one for Thanksgiving too. My Aunt Amy sends me one for every holiday. I have never met her, but she seems real nice! Anyway, I think it kinda tough to pull off a bandanna, but I think I look pretty handsome. The green brings out my eyes. I definitely look Irish, which means that I look good in green.

But the OTHER thing that happened - which is the REAL REASON why I couldn't blog for so long - is that my Person got a new computer! It is named Mack, and it looks like this:

I was real excited when I found out about it. Since it is named Mack, I know that it is a MAN CAT computer, because a girl computer would never be called Mack. You can also tell that Mack is for man cats because he has a apple on him. A apple is some gross foods that only Sophie would eat, but it is still a type of foods, so you know that Mack understands the IMPORTANT things. But Mack works a lot different than the old computer, so it has taken me some time to get used to it. But as you can tell, I am getting the hang of it now!

I have also been very busy protesting my feeding skedjuwul. I am a very big guy and I would like my foods more than just two times a day. So I have been trying real hard to walk around the apartment a lot and mraw mraw MUCH MORE THAN NORMAL. And in the mornings as soon as I get hungry, I go sit my booty on top of my Person when she is sleeping and mraw mraw real loud. And when she opens her eyes and looks at me, I just give her the "What? I do not know what you are confused about? Mraw?" And then she will close them again. And then I repeet. Sophie has kinda been ruining this plan, though, by licking my Person's face in the mornings. I think maybe she has been reading Skeezix's blog and is mistaking our Person for Mr. Tasty Face - because while I love my Person and all, in the morning, I would much rather be EATING SOME FOODS.

Anyway, so that is what has been going on. Now that Mack and I have gotten to know each other I will be blogging more, I PROMISE!

Mraw there, stranger!

Sup, innernets. I have not blogged in many many days. There have been all sorts of STUFFS going on, but mostly I could not blog because it was my Person's birthday, and she seemed to be coming home very late and being very sleepy a lot, and so I had to cuddle with her, and teach Sophie how to do that, and make sure everything was okay. As you can tell my Person really appreciated it:
There was also some chunks-blowing and cat-teevee-watching, and some shirt-wearing, and all of the other big man cat things I do. And then that person who lives with my Person brought all this new stuff into the apartment and I am pretty sure that the stuff is presents for me and Sophie! (I think when it is your Person's birthday, you get presents too!) Like this thing (not an iggzact picture, but very similar):

This is clearly a GREAT CAT FORT for me and Sophie! It has hangy things on top that clink when you touch them with your paws (that is what Sophie likes to do). And my Person put some stuff on top, that when I walk by and push it with my paw, it falls on the floor with a GREAT crash. And underneath is a hiding spot where I can hide, but I have also had to add it to my patrols, because it is another one of those places where mices or cats or other FOODS might be hiding. All in all, a great present.
And on top of the fort was this:

There was some stuff in it, but I am pretty sure it is a bed for me.

So I chewed on it to see how it tasted. Not bad!
And then I inspected all the stuff, to make sure there was nothing vishus inside.
A great bed! Thanks person who lives with my Person! (this series of photos also serves as my Man Cat Monday post, since exploring intrepidly is a very manly thing to do)

Additionally, I got tagged for a survey by my good friend Merlin. I am very excited to do it!

A. Name four places you have lived
1. On the street, with the gang of chiwahwahs.
2. At the pet store, where I was lefted.
3. With that very nice girl Kara who taught me how to pose for pictures.
4. With my Person!

B. Four things I love to watch
1. The cat teevee! Espeshully when the Tommy is on it.
2. My Person's face when I throw things off of the dresser or mraw real loudly.
3. The water running in that big white box thing.
4. Sophie, when I am being sneaky and getting ready to pounce.

C. Four places I have been outside my home
1. The vets. I HATE THE VETS.
2. Outside on my leesh.
3. In my big carrier on the subway, when I came from Kara's to here.
4. The pet store!

D. Four websites I visit daily
1. My friend Skeezix's blog.
2. Hotmail!
3. Merlin's blog.
4. Lots of other cat blogs!


E. Four of my favorite foods.
1. Friskies wet foods
2. Temptayshuns
3. Cheeses
4. Dry foods too

F. Four places I would rather be right now
1. Sleeping on top of the person's teevee (where I will probably go when I am done with this!)
2. Outside on my leesh, but only if it is not so very cold.
3. Having the foods
4. Camping out!


G. Four toys I have owned and played with
1. The VISHUS RIBBON WAND WHICH IS NOT REALLY A TOY.
2. Tin foil balls that my Person makes for me
3. My Person's VISHUS HANDS WHICH ARE NOT REALLY TOYS BUT VISHUS.
4. The VISHUS DANGLIES WHICH ARE VISHUS LIKE THIS ONE:

H. Four nicknames people call me
1. Kissy-met
2. "just a big guy"
3. Mitters
4. Little bobcat

I. Regarding catnip
Love it
It's nice
Could take it or leave it
Don't like it or can't have it


J. Regarding cat grass
Love it
It's nice
Could take it or leave it
Don't like it or can't have it


K. First things I buy after winning the lottery
1. Many shirts.
2. Some delishus FOODS!
3. A heated cat bed
4. I would bribe my Person to please NEVER GIVE ME A PAWDICURE EVER AGAIN MRAW

L. Four things I do besides eat sleep and litter box
1. Watch the cat teevee.
2. Wrestle with Sophie.
3. Attack the vishus danglies.
4. Go on my patrols to keep everyone safe which my Person does not really appreciate but I do it anyway because I AM A GOOD CAT.

M. Four things I want to do this summer
1. Hopefully not be so HOTS all the time like I was last summer.
2. Eat some FOODS!
3. Humps
4. Sleep with my big feets crossed

N. My four most prized possessions that have limited value to anyone else
1. My Person!
2. My gray sweatshirt.
3. My yellow cat grass planter from my Person's person's person!
4. My big man paws and whisker humps.

O. What I am going to do before tomorrow
1. Clean my very big toes.
2. Give Sophie a bath.
3. Do my patrols.
4. Hump and sleep.

P.Which of the following is your favorite place to hide and play
paper bags
plastic bags
boxes
Other (explain)
I like to sit my booty on plastic bags but I don't like to hide in them. I don't really hide very much, but I like the cat tent sometimes.

Q. Four other pets that Mommy has had with me
Just Sophie!

Thanks for all of the comments and emails wondering where I was. Everything is ok and I am going to try to blog more now!!

Man Cat Monday

I have decided to start my own blog day-of-the-week: Man Cat Monday. Us big man cats are very under-represented in the blog world. So any other man cats out there, feel free to participate!!
This is an old picture of me. As you can see, I am keeping the apartment safe for my Person by battling the vishus ribbon. (That's a very important part of being a big man cat.) In this picture it looks like the vishus ribbon is winning, but clearly I lived to battle another day, and the vishus ribbon has never been heard from again. This particular breed of vishus ribbon was actually ATTACHED TO ONE OF MY PERSON'S SHIRTS and I detached it myself with my very big paws. She could have been killed! Of course, like normal, my Person did not seem to realize the danger she was in and instead just took pictures and laughed at me while I waged my battle. It is hard to be me sometimes.