Just me and my pee

Even though the VETS said that my pee is normal (which I knew. It is very smelly and when I pee a lot of it comes out. TOTALLY NORMAL, PERSON), I have still been peeing on the chair a lot. I have been hearing my Person say that she might just get rid of the chair, and I really hope that she does not do this, because peeing on the chair is the BEST! First I hop up onto it and use my very big front feets to clean off the surface. This is very important because you can't just pee on ANYTHING, it has to be clean! So I use my feets to scrape it off. This is also good in case there are some foods or other very tiny cats that you cannot see, because you would not want to pee on either of these things. Then I shake my booty a little bit, and I put my front feets on the back of the chair and lift my tail up and just pee away. It is VERY comfy to pee like this, because the chair is so skwishy and soft. My Person has caught me a few times and everytime she says "Kismet NO! We do NOT pee on the furniture!" and she grabs me and puts me in front of the litterbox. And I just say, mraw mraw Person, obveeisslee WE do not pee on the furniture, I am the one who pees on the furniture MRAW MRAW." And then just to throw her off I use my front feets to sweep up the floor in front of the litterbox, but when she is not looking I go back and pee on the chair. Sometimes it takes two or three tries before I get all of the pee out, but it is worth it to be so comfy!

Since I know that my peeing on the chair makes my Person upset, I have tried to make up for it by being a very good boy in other ways. Like, I keep her company when she is in the big white box pouring water all over herself.
Here I am supervising the pouring of the water. I do not really understand the whole act of pouring water over oneself, but nomatter how loud I sit there and mraw mraw (and sometimes I even reach in to grab her leg and try to pull her OUT), my Person will not stop doing it, so I like to make sure that the water is not too hot for her. Then while she is in there, I catch up on my reading about the famous ladies.
Yesterday, I also helped with the laundry. First, I supervised the folding of the clothes. This is very important, because I like things to be CLEAN! I also particularly liked this shirt because it has the word HAM on it, and I like ham. I know my friends the meezers like it too!
(If you make this picture big, you can see the chair (the one I pee on) in the background. Doesn't it look skwishy and like you want to pee on it too???)
After that, I helped my Person make the bed. This is ALSO important, because I sleep on that bed every night so I HAVE to make sure that there are no mices or other cats hiding underneath the blankets, and I also have to approve of where they are all placed.
This is me giving it the paws of approval.

Anyway, I know my Person doesn't like me peeing on the chair, but with all of the nice good boy things I have been doing lately, how could she REALLY be mad?