My bachelor weekend

My Person is leaving today to meet her potenshul new friend Jahb, and she is taking Mac the mancat computer with her, so I won't be able to blog while she is gone (did she ask me if this was okay? No. No she did not). Sophie is going to the VETS while my Person is gone and Henry, the rabbit we live with, is at bunny camp, so I have the whole 'partment to myself. I can't decide what I will do. Maybe open a cigar bar or have some ladies over.


Decisions are exhausting.

Anyway, I wanted to let all of you know that my sister ate all of her foods while she was home AND she pooped! She did not each much breakfast yesterday, but my Person figured out a little later that it's because Sophie does NOT like cold foods. (I tried to explain that FOODS IS FOODS, KID, but she did not care.)

While she is at the VETS they will give her a lot of digestive tests, and just between you and me, innernets, I don't know how that's going to go, because I don't know how smart Sophie's digestives are. One of those tests is supposed to tell us if she has pancreeya-tytus, so we should know by the time my Person gets back! So if you could keep the purrs coming that would be great.

Let me know if anyone wants to come over while my Person is gone. I have two litterboxes all to myself and a big bed to sleep on and a whole WALL of cat TVs! Otherwise I will talk to you in a few days, innernets!

My sister is home!

Honestly innernets, my sister coming home was not a very huge deal. We did not have a big EMOSHUNAL reunion. My Person brought her in in the carrier and opened the door, and Sophie came RUNNING out! She did some laps around the room because she was so excited to be home, and then she settled on the bed and gave herself a long bath which was good because you have to get that VETS stink off of you as soon as you can. And then she slept for awhile! And then we had dinner, and my sister ate all of her foods, and both of us made sure to eat really slowly to really freak out my Person. And then we went to bed. The whole thing was no big deal, but you could tell my Person was real happy and thought it was a real big deal.


Sophie on her pillow.

This morning, though, my sister did not eat hardly any foods for breakfast. So my Person is worried again. She called the VETS and the VETS said that she wasn't concerned yet, because my sister got fed a lot of foods yesterday and might still just be adjusting to being at home. My Person has some medicine that makes cats hungry, and the VETS said to give Sophie some of that tonight and see if she will eat then, so that is the plan. My sister is going back to the VETS tomorrow anyway when my Person goes to meet her maybe-new-friend Jahb in another city, so either way the VETS will probably figure out what is going on and hopefully fix it. PLEASE keep purring that my sister keeps eating on her own! And also pooping, she hasn't pooped since she's been here. At least I don't think so. I don't really follow her around to check her litterboxing, innernets. I have other stuff to do.

Also, I clearly have not taught my sister very well how to deal with the VETS, because her VETS report card said this on it:

"Sophie has been a great patient. This morning she was very animated - rubbing, rolling and generally being very engaging which is probably normal behavior for Sophie when she is feeling well."

SIGH. You are not supposed to spend time making friends with the VETS, what you are SUPPOSED to do is ATTACK FIRST, ASK QUESTIONS LATER. You should HEAR the noises I make at the VETS, innernets. A few months ago my Person took me in there because I was peeing on the rug (haHA!) and by the time I was done with them, the VETS knew not to mess with the big man cat. First I made this face:



Then they took me into another room to try to pull out some of my pees with a needle. And my Person said later that even through THREE SETS of closed doors, she could hear me yelling at them. Eventually the VETS told my Person they were going to have to sedate me in order to get the pees. HAHA! At that same visit my Person saw that in my file it said, "Be careful - this patient is AGGRESSIVE!!!" And my Person said that when she and Sophie left the VETS yesterday, the VETS said, "Your cats are so sweet!....Well, Sophie, anyway." VICTORY. My Person always tells them, "I'm sorry, I wish you could meet him at home! He is a nice cat!" I wish she would cut that out because I don't want those VETS coming over here, no way no how.

Keep the purrs coming, innernets! We do NOT want Sophie to have to have more expensive testing or an operayshun. We just want her to get well, NOW!

MY SISTER POOPED!

Innernets, I never thought a post about Sophie pooping would ever be a good thing EVER, but my Person and I are VERY excited to tell you that last night at the VETS, my sister Sophie both ATE FOODS ON HER OWN and POOPED!!!!!

I also just want to tell you that I myself eat the foods on my own and poop every day, but you don't see anyone getting very excited about it. Whatever. I'm just meowin'.

The VETS said they are still not exactly sure what is wrong with my sister. About a month ago, she had a similar blowing chunks-and-not-eating episode, but it was just one night and my Person just figured that all cats blow chunks sometimes, no big deal. But the VETS thinks now that maybe Sophie has pankreea-tytus. Apparently all of us cats have this thing called a pankreeyus. My Person says that the pankreeyus has something to do with making sure that we have enough sugars in our blood. Probably this means that my pankreeyus does not work because I AM ALWAYS VERY HUNGRY and none of my fluids are tasting very sweet. I guess in cats the pankreeyus also has something to do with the way we process our FOODS and also how we poop, so it would make sense that Sophie's pankreeyus does not work because her poops are always very stinky. Anyways, my Person does not know a whole lot about pankreea-tytus, but from what we have found on the innernets it looks like Sophie would just have to eat better foods to manage it. The VETS need to do a special test to see if Sophie's pankreeyus is broked, and if it is then we figure things out from there. If it's not then we still don't know what's wrong with her and they may still need to do some sort of operayshun or more tests.

But we are not thinking too much about that because we are just VERY relieved that my sister is eating foods and pooping! She is going to come home tonight just to see how she does. My Person is already annoying me by being a nervous wreck about it, and I am a LITTLE bummed because I have gotten a LOT of extra foods while Sophie is gone. But it is also KINDA boring without her here so I'm mostly okay with her coming back.

My Person is also going out of town at the end of this week to go visit a possible new friend Jahb in a new town. This Jahb is better than her friend Jahb who lives here, because the new Jahb would have more time for my Person and would give her more moneys and also take care of her if she got sick. I hate when my Person goes out of town (I usually express my rage by blowing chunks a lot, all over the place, and maybe peeing on some things if I feel like it), but I am glad she is going to try to make a new friend Jahb. But she doesn't want to leave Sophie alone while she is gone, so Sophie will be staying at the VETS for two extra nights this week, and they will do the pankreeya-tytus test then.

BASICALLY INNERNETS, we still do not REALLY know what is going on with my sister's insides, but she seems to be doing a LOT better. My Person also wants me to tell you that because of your donayshuns, we are able to pay for ALL of Sophie's vet bills this week! We will let you know how it goes when she gets home and we will post some pictures too!! PLEASE keep purring and keeping your paws crossed that she does not need any sort of operayshun!! I am so glad that I have such great friends on the innernets, even if it makes my Person cry when you guys are nice to me, and then she follows me around and tries to make me cuddle with her, and that is fine sometimes, but I have THINGS to do other times, you know? Mostly I'm just like, chill out, Person, of course they are nice to me, they are my friends. There are just SO MANY THINGS she does not understand.


Can't even nap in peace.

Sophie update, part 2

We just heard from the VETS and my sister Sophie has not vommed ALL DAY LONG!

The VETS said they have forcefed her three times and are going to feed her once more before they leave for the night. She said Sophie has not thrown ANYTHING up, which is good news because, innernets, when Sophie was home this weekend, she spent a LOT of time blowing chunks. I am a dude who enjoys blowing chunks, so you must know that if I think she was overdoing it, she definitely was. And I am a neat chunk-blower; it's all in one spot. Sophie is not used to blowing chunks so it was just EVERYWHERE. I will spare you any more details. So far, Sophie has kept foods down for 8.5 hours!!

The VETS said they are still not sure what is wrong with Sophie but that she seems to be moving in the right direction and now what we really want is for her to poop. I think maybe if they knew how stinky Sophie's poops were they would not want that so much, but that is just my opinion.

We are definitely still not out of the woods and Sophie is NOT back to normal. She will stay at the VETS another night getting more water in an IV, and they will feed her more tomorrow. My Person has decided not to go visit her because we do not want to get her excited and then have her be sad when my Person leaves again. I always really liked it when my Person visited me at the VETS when my heart first broked, but then I have a LOT OF RAGE when I am at the VETS so having my Person there was good because it made me remember that I do not really hate all persons, JUST VETS. But Sophie is very different than me and since she seems to be doing okay, we do not want to risk messing that up.

PLEASE keep purring for my sister! There is still a chance she could need surgery and we DON'T WANT THAT, so keep the purrs coming!!!!!

KISMET OUT. Also VETS if you are reading this, feel free to send any foods that my sister does not eat my way and I will take care of them for you. But don't come near me when you deliver the foods because I hate you.

Sophie update

My sister Sophie spent all last night at the VETS getting water in an IV. I don't know what that means, but it sounds dumb because you can just drink water if you are thirsty. The VETS called my Person this morning and said Sophie did well overnight but is still not eating any foods (also dumb, give me the foods), so they are going to force-feed her and if she can't keep any food down still they are recommending something called a bare-e-um X-ray. I guess they feed Sophie some bare-e-um and then take a bunch of X-rays to see how it looks inside her insides, and that will tell them if there is something stuck in there. And if it shows that, they will probably recommend surgery.

My Person is driving me nuts, basically. She is panicky and stressed and a wreck, because all of this stuff is apparently going to cost around 2,000 moneys, which we just don't have. So she is not sure what to do.

Some persons have donated moneys and we want to say THANK YOU so much and that it helps, and that we appreciate it more than we can say. My Person also wants me to say that we are not posting about this so any of you will feel bad and give us moneys. The moneys are wonderful and they help us a lot, but I am just here blogging because that's what my blog is for, and my Person is hovering because she knows that all of you will understand how she is feeling.

I will keep you posted when we hear from the VETS again. (I hate the VETS.)

The verdict

I JUST got back from my check-up at the VETS. My Person came home in the middle of the day and I WAS excited, because I like my Person, on account of she gives me the foods, but she just came in and gave me and Sophie a treat (which, don't get me started, why does SOPHIE get a treat, did SHE have to go to the VETS, I DON'T THINK SO) and scooped me up and put me in the prison box. But I have to tell you, innernets, that even though I pretty much figured I was going to the VETS, because these days I am always going to the VETS, I didn't really mind the prison box so much, because I like riding in the car.

Don't worry, though, because as soon as we got to the VETS I started growling and mrawing and hissing and just generally letting everyone there know that yes, I am a big dude, and you shouldn't mess with me. They took me into the examinayshun room and my Person opened the prison box, and then all sorts of VETS people started coming in because they wanted to see me and how I was doing. I don't know how they knew me, though. I mean, I spent a lot of time at the VETS recently, but those people see a lot of cats, so I figure they must know me from my fame on the innernets and from my fame from just being a big dude. Anyway, they all said I was handsome and didn't try to touch me, so I didn't mind that too much, especially since they were all lady persons, which are my favorite kind, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, they weighed me, and I have gained back a whole pound, which made my Person happy because for awhile there I was not very interested in my foods (I KNOW, RIGHT?) and I lost about two pounds. Don't worry, though, innernets, even when I was down two pounds, I was still really big, and you can't lose weight in your whisker humps or your paws so it never really showed.

Then the VETS came in and he just blabbed and blabbed to my Person about this medicine and that medicine. I didn't really listen because I was very busy being on the floor and sniffing everything out. I did let that VETS pet me once though because he did kinda save my life that one time (okay, a few times). But I only let him pet me ONCE because I don't want him getting the wrong idea. And when he tried to listen to my heart and my lungs I made sure to growl REAL loud so he couldn't hear anything. HAHA!

Since I wasn't really LISTENING, I can't tell you everything he said, but I can tell you that he said I look great and seem to be doing great, and he is real excited that I gained some weight, and that since last week I have been on some heart medicines (something called Enalapril and something called Lasix, and I take them every morning, and let me tell you that I don't even MIND, because those medicines come inside a chicken envelope, and I like me some CHICKEN!) and they are really agreeing with me, unlike the medicine I tried that one time (Altenolol) that most definitely disagreed with me, because after I took it I had to spend more time in the oxyjin tent. I like camping as much as the next dude, but I didn't like that tent so much. I would much rather build a blanket fort and hang out with my Person.

Also, my Person is real bad at things, and wants everyone to know that she still has to get around to thanking everyone in the mail for helping us with my VETS bills. I tried to yowl at her and I humped her leg a little to remind her but she's a person, you know, and it was hard enough for me to train her to turn the faucet on when I'm thirsty and to give me my foods when I want it so I'm not sure how much else I can do. I think the point is that she will do it very very soon, and that she thinks about all of my friends every day, and then she gets all sappy and tries to hug me and sometimes I just have STUFF TO DO, PERSON, AND I CAN'T JUST BE HUGGING ALL DAY LONG.

Anyways, I hope that now my blog can just be about me and my man cat-ness and not so much with the VETS because the VETS is boring. I am the main attraction!

The story of my heartsounds

Hello, innernets! I am sober now (it took awhile) and so I can tell you the full story of my ultrasound!

To begin with, the ultrasounds place is very far away from where we live in Virjinya. So we had to ride in the car for a LONG time. One of the persons my Person knows took us in her car and my Person let me sit on her lap the whole time instead of in my prison box. Before we left I inspected the car very thoroughly to make sure there were no foods or other cats or anything vishus hiding in it because you just never know. Unforchunitly, I did not find any foods, but I did walk around on the dashboard for awhile. And while we were driving, I made sure to stand up on my Person's lap and put my very big paws on the windowsill and look outside. I saw some cows (beef!) and I made eyes at lots of other persons in cars but let me tell you, innernets, persons driving in cars are not very ATTENTIVE because none of them seemed to notice me. I can only assume that the car we were in had one-way glass because I don't think there is much of a chance that you could drive by me looking out a window and not notice me, on account of my whisker humps are so big.

When we finally got to the ultrasounds place, my Person put my back in the prison box and we went inside. While my Person was filling out paperwork, some other persons came out with a big brown dog and sat next to my prison box and I growled and hissed at him. And my Person said, "Sorry. He just has a lot of rage." and then the lady person behind the counter made those other persons move the dog away from my prison box, probably because she knew that I could bust out of there and take that dog down if I wanted to. HAHA!

Then they called us back, and my Person carried my prison box into an examinayshun room. She let me out and I prowled around growling while she talked to various VETS persons. And then the actual VETS came in and he grabbed me by my neck and INJECTED ME WITH POISON. I know it was poison because right after he gave it to me I vommed on the floor. And then he waited awhile and I didn't get sleepy, on account of I AM BIG and also because it takes a lot to take down a man cat, so then he INJECTED ME WITH MORE POISON and then I passed out.

Look, I am not PROUD of the passing out, and I woke up with a bunch of my chest hairs gone and some nasty GOO all over me, but at least I know that while I was passed out my eyes didn't close and that really freaked out my Person. That will SHOW HER! YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE KIS-MAN, LADY!

They held me down on a table while they waited for me to wake up and the VETS explained everything about my heart to my Person. I have leaky valves and my heart wall is thick and one of my atriums is enlarged. This is all just fancy talk for my heart doesn't work as good as it should and it makes stuff back up into my lungs, which is why I have been having trouble breathing. They are going to start me on medicines soon, but my regular VETS wants to talk to a heart doctor first because they tried to put my on heart medicines last week and I had a bad reaction to one. I AM A MEDICAL MYSTERY, INNERNETS!

While we wait to hear about the medicines, my Person and I are just hanging out. Today we watched some DVDs and I made biskits on her for awhile, and she fed me some Temptations and some Friskies. Now that I am sober, I am acting as normal as I can because I know it makes my Person feel good.


looking manly. I have to be the little spoon, on account of my Person is bigger than me, but we both know I'm the big spoon in the relationship.

Thanks again for all of your help and purrs, innernets! I will let you know how my heart is doing when I get started on my medicines. I am not happy to have a broked heart, but I am a pretty big dude and I think I will manage with it just fine.

my heart

Innernets, I am a little drunk from anesthesia still, so I will write my whole post of RAGE tomorrow, but I just wanted to stop by and let you all know that my heart is a little broked. I have hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, and three of my heart valves are leaking. I am okay right now, and I am going to start medicines soon, and the VETS people said I was very grumpy and I vommed in their room (HAHA), but my heart is a little broked. My Person and I are both tired, so I will give you the full story tomorrow after we sleep and I am SOBER!

Ultrasounds are ultra LAME

O HAI INNERNETS.

As you can see, I am still very handsome. I just wanted to show you some recent pictures of me so you would all know that despite my ongoing medical issues, my whisker humps have not gotten smaller and I am still pretty goodlookin'. (Feel free to click on those and make them bigger, laydeez.)

I go for my ultrasound on Friday, to the VETS. Apparently this is a NEW VETS, because my Person had to call them today to make sure they knew that my other VETS doesn't want me sedaytid for the ultrasound. The person on the phone said, "Well, it depends on the cat, I mean, we might not have to sedate him." And my Person goes, "No, Kismet will hate you. You would normally want to sedate him." And the lady person tried to argue and my Person just said, "No. He will HATE YOU." so then they had to arrange for the VETS to call her back because apparently I am just that big and vishus. HAHA! BETTER GET YOUR HAWK GLOVES READY, NEW VETS!

But this whole ultrasound thing is stupid if you ask me, because I am breathing pretty okay now and I am also much less sneezy (though it was kind of fun to be sneezy cuz a) it rhymes with Skeezy, who's one of my best buds in the innernets and b) sometimes I got snots all over my Person, and that was funny) and I am also eating my Friskies so I don't think more persons need to be listening in on my heartbeats because I AM FINE. But it does mean a long ride in the car, and my Person said one of her other person friends is driving us so I get to sit on my Person's lap and explore and watch out the windows. Which is good, because between you and me, innernets, my Person is so bad at exploring just around the 'partment that I can't imagine what she's like in the car, so it's a good thing I will be there to stand guard. There are lots of vishus stuff out there, Person!

Anyway, I will let you know when we find anything out, which we won't, cuz I'm pretty sure I'm fine, on account of my man paws are still big and so are my whisker humps, and that is pretty much how I decide how I am doing, if you know what I mean.

I AM BACK

Sup innernets. This is KISMET MAN CAT, TAKING BACK MY BLOG. Look, I know that I have been feeling sick, but that is NO EXCUSE for my Person to take over MY BLOG. So now that I am home from my second night in the oxyjin tent, I thought I would come update you MYSELF, on account of this is MY BLOG, PERSON.

Basically, the VETS don't know what is wrong with me. They say my heart has a murmur which I think means when they put on their heart-listen-y thing it talks to them, but I don't understand why this is a bad thing, because if they don't WANT it to murmur at them then WHY are they putting on their heart-listen-y thing to listen to it? PERSONS, THEY MAKE NO SENSE.

Anyhoo, so I spent last night in the oxyjin tent and then today at the VETS the VETS were all confyoozed. "He is fine," they said to my Person. "His breething is good, his heart rate is good, and he is eating." (It's true, I did eat the foods at the VETS. I am not proud of this because normally I go on a HUNGER STRIKE at the VETS, but it was free FOODS and I was kind of wanting the FOODS.) When my Person came to pick me up I yowled at her a LOT, and the VETS said they wanted to take a X-ray and could my Person help hold me, because they tried to do it themselves and I wouldn't let them (HAHA!), and so my Person carried me into the X-ray room but I MRAWED and MRAWED and then I ESCAPED from the X-ray room and ran around outside in the other VETS room, and finally they said, just take him home. HAHA!

I am a little sneezy currently, but I am on my noomoanya medicines, and apparently I am having some sort of ultrasound soon (I think that is where they turn up the volume on my heart murmur so it makes a ULTRA noise so they can ULTRA hear it). All I know is that I am home and I am cleaning my whisker humps LOTS so that I don't smell like VETS, and that the VETS better not mess with the man cat, because even when I do not FEEL well, I will not let them do things like X-rays. HAHA!

I also want to thank all my friends on the innernets for sticking by me and my blog even though my Person took it over for awhile. I really appreciate your well wishes and I promise not to sneeze on you or in your general direction.

The results are IN!

I did not hear about my pee until YESTERDAY because the VETS never called my Person when they said they would! I was kind of fine with this, because I hate the VETS and I also hate hearing about my pee, and just to drive this point home I made sure to pee again on the chair last night. But anyway, my Person heard back from the VETS, after she called them three times, which made her very grouchy, and my pees are fine. WHICH I KNEW ALL ALONG, THANK YOU. My pee's pee aytch is normal and I do not have any crystals, which are sparkly things that girl cats wear, so of course I do not have any. This whole thing was stupid. I should never have had to go to the VETS to begin with.

Anyway, I did not pee on the chair today. My Person said she talked to the nice man who introduced us and that he has given her lots of ideas to stop the peeing on the chair. I just mrawed at her and made sure that she remembered that SOME persons think that I am a HAWK, and maybe she shouldn't mess around with me too much, if you know what I am SAYING.

I am sure that I will pee on the chair again at some point, though. You have to keep your persons on their toes.

THE VETS

WELL. I went to the VETS yesterday.

I knew I was going soon, because I heard my Person talking about it, but I didn't know exactly when, so I had to be on the lookout. And yesterday when she brought out my HUGE prison box, I knew it was time! She put the prison box on the floor, and I was sitting on the couch, and when she came over to me and picked me up, I decided to get warmed up for the VETS by putting up a fight about getting into the box. My Person tried to slide me into the box while it was sitting on the floor, but I used my very big paws to grab the sides of the box to keep myself out of it. I thought maybe once my Person saw how strong I am and how big my paws are she would realize that I do not need to go to the VETS, EVER, but unfortunately she did not seem to think this way, because she turned the prison box on its booty and dropped me into it that way. I tried to use my very big back feets to stay out of it, but it didn't exactly work.

To be honest, I don't really mind being in the prison box. I like to curl up and be carried around (if I had a harem, I imagine this is what it would be like!). My Person carries the box while we walk to the VETS, and she always puts some of her fingers in the prison bars so that I know that it is really HER carrying me around, and I put my nose through the bars right by her hand and I make sure to mraw mraw whenever we pass other persons so that they know that a very big man cat is passing them by. It was very nice out yesterday, and if I hadn't known where we were going, it would have been a very good walk.

But of course, I DID know that we were going to the VETS, and as soon as we walked inside there, I was on alert. My Person set the prison box down so she could go talk to the lady behind the counter, and I immediately began to mraw mraw very loudly. My Person came and sat back down and told me it was all going to be okay, but I knew she was LYING, because then a cat in the torchur room heard me and started mraw mrawing back. We were mrawing very loudly but then they brought that cat out to his person and he got to leave. I was very jellis, but I also knew that he understood my pain. Anyway, that is when the assistant vet man said we could go back into the torchur room.

My Person carried the prison box into the room and set it on the examinayshun table and opened the door for me. Because it was my Person opening the door, and not the vet lady or her helper, I came out obeedeeintlee, but only because I knew if I didn't, the vet lady would dump me out and that is very undignified. I sat my booty on the table and my Person rubbed my head for me while she told them about my pee problems. But then she had to go sit down, and as soon as the vet assistant man reached for me, I BOLTED!

First I ran to the edge of the table, making sure to hiss and growl and put my ears way back the whole time. The assistant man did eventually grab me and take me over to the scale, but as soon as that was done, I wiggled and wiggled and ESCAPED! I bolted over to where my Person was sitting and got under her chair. The man moved the chair next to her, and I hissed and growled and SCREEMED for all I was worth! My Person got up so he could try to get under her chair, and I bolted for the counter! I sat on the counter by the sink, and whenever he came near me, I yelled at him until finally, HE LEFT THE ROOM!!! VICTORY WAS MINE!!

My Person could sense that I was very upset and she came over to where I was sitting on the counter and began to rub my head. I growled at first and she said "oh, Kismet, it's okay" and picked me up and held me real tight. I let my ears come up and I stopped growling and glared at the vet lady. I couldn't see her, but I am sure that my Person was glaring at her too.

Unfortunately, the assistant man came back in. But he was wearing these:

HUGE fake hands and arms that went all way almost up to his shoulder! My Person said later that those fake hands and arms are used when people hold big huge birds like HAWKS! I MADE HIM SO SCARED THAT HE THOUGHT I WAS A HAWK! And when he came in and saw that my Person was holding me and I was being a very good boy, he said "Oh. Of COURSE." And the vet lady said, "well, you aren't his mom." And I said, THAT'S RIGHT YOU AREN'T!

My Person asked if it would be better if she just held me while they torchured me with pointy sticks. But the vet lady said "we actually need him to lay down, so that probably wouldn't work." So my Person put me very carefully on the torchur table, and the assistant man came over and put a towel over my head (probably because he knew that seeing his face would FILL ME WITH RAGE), and they proceeded to do very awful things. Like the vet lady felt my belly and said "oh, he has some yurin. We can just take it out." AND THEN SHE STUCK SHARP THINGS WHERE THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO GO AND I FELT LIKE I HAD TO PEE ON THINGS, LIKE MAYBE HER TORCHUR TABLE. And then she poked me some more and stuck things up my booty, and the assistant man held my very big back feets while all of this was going on, but FINALLY she said "okay, you can go now" and brought out the prison box. And let me tell you, I JUST RAN into that prison box. I didn't even try to show them how big my paws are and how strong I am. I am kind of feeling sad about that now, but at the time, I just wanted to get OUT OF THERE. However, I do feel proud that I made that assistant man so scared that he went and got the hawk gloves!

Anyway, my Person says they will call sometime today with the results of my pee. Just to make sure she knows that this type of behavior is not ok, I peed on the chair again today. This is making her very worried about hearing from the VETS about my pee. I am glad because maybe it means that she will not take me there anymore. And if I do have to go back, that assistant man better LOOK OUT!

Before all of the VETS, Sadie tagged me for a survey about why I blog! So here are five reasons why I love the innernets:

1) I have met many great cats from blogging, and some GREAT lady cats.

2) Lots of persons read my blog too and REALLY like it. They bother my Person when I don't update. I like this because it means that I am educating all of the persons in the world about very important things, like letting cats who don't know you SNIFF you before you assume it is fine to pet them, and how cats look GREAT in shirts, and stuff like that.

3) Blogging really validaytes a lot of my opinions - like when I blog about the VETS, other cats tell me I am totally right for hating it and that I should try to get ninja stars on my file, or when I say how I like to pee on stuff, other cats TOTALLY understand.

4) Whenever I have a problem, or am confYOOZED about something, I like to blog about it and I get really great advice and suggestions from other cats. Like when the pink litterbox appeared, everyone thought I was getting a sister, and then I did! And when I HATED her at first, everyone told me it would get better - and it did!

5) Because when I need to launch things like a KAMPAYN TO GET MORE FOODS, other cats support me!

I will keep everyone posted on how my pee is. Hopefully we will hear soon and my Person will stop hovering over me and freaking out about everything I do. Like today she gave me some cheese and a little while later I blew chunks, and she FREAKED OUT. I blow chunks all the time, lady! Gosh.

EXPLORING....and THE VETS

Ever since the new person that lives with my Person came to live with us (Sophie calls her the "scayree laydee who loves me a LOT"), interesting things have been appearing in the apartment. First it was that great bed for me and now it is this:
I am not exactly sure what it is, but I am pretty sure that it is a present for me and Sophie. I think that Sophie looks very proper sitting underneath this thing so maybe it is a girl cat thing that I do not understand. Anyway, when it showed up Sophie was very quick to jump under it without even inspecting AT ALL! So I had to check it out to make sure that everything was okay, because that is what a good big brother does.
You can see that my tail is a little bushy, because the thing might have been vishus. You can also see that Sophie looks very confused. This is because inspecting and patrolling are man cat things to do, and since I do them, Sophie never has to.
It turned out there was no need to worry. After closer inspection I decided that the thing was NOT vishus, and Sophie sat under it for a long time. What do you guys think it is? Since it is RIGHT outside Sophie's pink cat box, I think it might actually be a present for me - a sheeld to protect me from the litter that she shakes off of her paws and that she kicks out of the box. And if you remember that day when all the poops got on the wall, you will know that I really do need a sheeld! It is also right under the cat tv, and so it might be a thing for cats to sit under when other cats are watching the cat tv. That way if some cats don't feel like watching right then, the episohds will not be ruined for them and they can watch later!

This was the good part of my post. Now for the bad part: I am going to have to go to the VETS soon. I peed on the chair TWICE this week and my Person is real worried because before I came to live with her I had lots of problems with my yurinerry trakt and blocks. I don't know what a yurinerry trakt is, but it means I can't eat dry foods very often, and I also can't play with blocks, because if I get a block it makes the pees not come. Anyway, I tried to remind her that peeing on things is just what I DO - like the couch that I used to pee on sometimes - but she is still worried because she can't remember the last time I peed in a place I was not supposed to more than once in a week. So now we are going to the VETS. And I HATE THE VETS. And thinking about GOING to the VETS just makes me want to PEE MORE. I will be sure to let you know how it goes. Hopefully it will be good for me and bad for the VETS!