Thursday Thirteen

1. The VETS called my Person and said that all of Sophie's test results came back normal which I guess means that she passed, but I don't think it means she gets to grajooyate from anything, just that she probably doesn't have pankreea-tytus. The VETS said they are still not exactly sure what was wrong with my sister, but that she MIGHT still have pankreea-tytus, or maybe she just had a virus, or maybe her bowels are irritable. I have never talked to Sophie's bowels so I can't tell you if they are cranky, but they sure do stink sometimes. Anyways the VETS said my Person should just keep feeding Sophie her new foods and monitor her poops. I did not offer to help.


Beware of the back end, innernets.

2. Sophie is now eating different foods than me. She likes the new foods okay but not as much as she likes my foods, so she eats them slower. Because of this I eat my foods in the human litterbox room. (It is very undignified to eat in there, but I have to go where my Person puts the foods.) I am a big dude so I eat really fast and then I mraw mraw and paw at the door because I KNOW that Sophie's foods are out there and she hasn't finished them and if you SNOOZE YOU LOSE, KID, LET ME AT THOSE FOODS, but my Person never lets me out to eat them because she does not understand the rules of eating the foods.

3. This annoys me but so far I have not peed on anything even once about it.

4. But when my Person got back from visiting potenshul new friend Jahb, I did try to pee in her suitcase. Twice. But she caught me. Twice. She still has not unpacked the suitcase, but to keep me from peeing in it she just makes sure to keep it closed.

5. So now I sleep on it instead. HAHA PERSON!



6. My Person is talking to someone else who knows potenshul friend Jahb tomorrow morning and she said she hopes that Jahb will decide if he wants to be friends with her soon after that. I hope he decides soon and that he decides yes, because the friend Jahb my Person hangs out with now takes up way too much of her time.

7. By the time she gets home I have so much stuff to tell her that I just follow her around and mraw mraw for hours and it takes away from the other manly stuff that I need to be doing, like cleaning my whisker humps and prowling for hidden foods and watching the cat TV and ignoring that rabbit that lives here.


He doesn't help with the patrols or ANYTHING.

8. When we lived in Virjinya my Person's friend Jahb only took SOME of her time and I only had to mraw mraw at her about stuff for a little while before she was all caught up. It was a much better balance and my life was not quite so HARD then.

9. Sadie was wondering if I still wear shirts. (How YOU doin', Sadie?) All of my mancat shirts are in a place called Storij. Most of my Person's stuff is there since we had to move back to Whiskonsin so suddenly. HOPEFULLY if potenshul new friend Jahb decides he wants to be friends with my Person, she can go to Storij and get her stuff (and MY shirts). But for now, I am nude all the time. Drink it in, laydeez.



10. Right now the partment we are living in is in a big huge building of lots of partments so I have not had a chance to run Out There. But sometimes when my Person comes in the partment I TAKE OFF into the hallway! It is a very long hallway and I just trot down it, mraw mrawing the whole time so that any persons I pass know who I am and that I am a big dude who lives by them, just in case they didn't know. I never get too far before my Person comes out and scoops me up and says, "Where do you think you are going?" And I am all, "Down the hall, Person," which I think is pretty obvious, innernets, espeshully since she SAW ME GOING DOWN THERE, but my Person does not understand these things.

11. I have not gone into the hallway lately because the HOTS are here. I hate the HOTS. My Person has kept it nice and cool in the partment for us, so I am not going into that hallway no way no how, except if my Person left the door open I would HAVE TO even though the HOTS are out there, just because exploring is a manly thing to do so I would have no choice.

12. Obveeissly, those types of responsibilities come with being a man cat. It is hard to be me.


Thinking about my hardships.

13. I am glad that so many of my friends are still blogging and that so many people still remember me (not that I REALLY thought you would forget me, but who knows?). It is good to be back, innernets!

PSSST

Pssssst....innernets!!





REMEMBER ME????

I am going to do a Thursday 13 to explain why I have not been blogging FOREVER.

1. Mac, the mancat compyooter, went dead for awhile. He seems to be ok now. But he was dead!
2. My Person had to go see Mr. Nooz Byurow every day for a long time and she would turn Mac, the mancat compyooter, off when she left. But I think she had a fight with Mr. Nooz Byurow, because she is not going to see him anymore!
3. Mr. Nooz Byurow + Brad Skool = GRUMPY PERSON
4. I have spent LOTS of time trying to figure out ways to get out of the partment to Out There. So far this has not really worked. My ideas have inkloodid: digging through the cat TV, scratching at the door with my big man paws, running out the door whenever it is opened which gets me in Big Trouble, making very sad mraw mraw noises at the door. Since none of these have really WORKED, I am spending lots of time trying NEW things, which are also not working. Getting Out There is very hard.
5. We went to the VETS, and if you have been reading my blog for awhile, you know that this makes me VERY GROUCHY AND I MRAW MRAW AND HISS AND SOMETIMES BAT AT MY PERSON'S FACE AND EYEBALLS, WHICH IS NOT VERY NICE BUT WHAT DID YOU EXPECT TO HAPPEN, PERSON, AND EVEN THOUGH THIS VETS WAS DIFFERENT THAN THE ONE IN BROOKLYN THEY STILL BROUGHT OUT THE HAWK GLOVES FOR ME. THAT'S RIGHT, VETS!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!! Also Sophie gets very scared when we go to the VETS and it makes her go poop in the carrier THAT I HAVE TO SHARE WITH HER. AND IT SMELLS. AND STICKS TO ME. This made me grouchy enough that I did not want to talk to anyone. Not even you, innernets. I am sorry.
6. It is starting to get HOTS. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
7. In Brooklyn, one of my favorite places to sleep was on the people TV on top of the cable box. In Merruhlind, we don't HAVE a big cable box. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
8. We are on some sort of weird foods schedule. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
9. Sophie STILL wants to play ALL THE TIME. THIS ALSO MAKES ME GROUCHY. I AM TRYING TO CLEAN MY TOES SOMETIMES.
10. I think those are maybe all of the things that made me grouchy lately. I have also been busy threatening the many wild cats that come onto our cat TV. There is a orange cat that my Person calls Sammy. He is ALMOST BIGGER THAN ME, and he comes on the cat TV every night, and I sit and mraw mraw at him. There is another orange cat too. This cat never had a ballsectomy, so my Person just calls him ballscat. Ballscat is not bigger than me, but he does have balls. So I mraw mraw EXTRA at him.
11. None of the cats on the cat TV are lady cats. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
12. Sophie has been having hairballs all over the place. My Person gives her hairball stuff to make this better. The hairball stuff smells like toona, so I get excited when it comes out and I try to eat it, but it just sticks to my whiskers and then I have to clean it and that ALSO MAKES ME GROUCHY.
13. What can I say, innernets? I'm a busy dude.

But, now that Brad Skool is almost done (I guess that means he is going to go dead), I will have more time to blog. This makes me NOT grouchy! So if any of my friends from the innernets are still checking up on me, I should be around more often.

Here is a bonus picture of my furchin for my lady friends:



I'm sure Sophie will be around too. (SIGH)

My Big Advenchur

Innernets, I have not been able to blog lately, because my Person is so busy using the compyooter to do things for Brad Skool, and then when she was done with Brad Skool for 4 days I thought I would FINALLY get the compyooter back, but then she crashed her moovable masheen and had to use the compyooter to figure out how to get the moovable masheen to be not sick anymore, and she was REAL upset so I had to be on man cat alert, and then I was all set to blog YESTERDAY, when I GOT LOCKED OUT OF THE PARTMENT.

We live close to the ground now - in Brooklyn we lived high up - so now when persons open the door sometimes I run Out There. I do not ever go very far. I just like to eats the grass and explore in the backyard. And my Person sometimes just follows me around to make sure that I do not leave to pick up the laydees or find my chiwahwah gang, and it is fine. But YESTERDAY, my Person was taking the moovable masheen to the doctor, and when the door opened, it was a big smelly man.

Now, since I am a big dude living with all GIRLS, normally I am very excited to have other mans around. Like my friend Ted who took me outside on my leash, or that person who used to live with my Person's boyfrend Joe, who told me many times that he thought I was a bobcat. But THIS guy was not even interested in me at all, and when he opened the door and I ran outside, he just LET ME GO.

At first I thought this was so great. Because I got to get away from Sophie for awhile, and eat lots of grass and explore and make sure that there was nothing vishus Out There waiting to eat my foods or attack my Person. And also to see if there are other foods hiding Out There, or maybe other cats, because there could be. You never know.

But eventually, I started to get kind of HOTS. I don't know if you remember, innernets, but I DO NOT SO MUCH LIKE THE HOTS, and I am a big guy, and I am kind of hairy, and I was outside for MANY HOWRS, and it just got VERY HOTS.

So when my Person came back in a DIFFERENT moovable masheen, she got owt and I ran over and mraw mraw mraw'd. And she said, "what are you doing out here??" And then she got REAL MAD. Not at me, because I am her big guy, but at that big smelly man, who I guess was there to fix some stuff in the partment, which is just dumb, because I AM A BIG MAN AND I CAN FIX THESE THINGS. So she scooped me up and gave me lots of smooches and called me a very good boy for not running away - as if I would leave the place where the FOODS is - and took me back inside. And I found the coolest place in the whole partment to lay down and recover from my big advenchur.

Which is in the front closet.

Anyway, while I was getting cool, my Person got BACK on the compyooter and there was a email from the man who owns the partment. And he said that the reepareman had let me out and tried to find me but he couldn't, and that he hoped I would come back home. And that was it. MY PERSON WAS REAL MAD AT HIM!!!!! But she couldn't say anything to him because he owns the partment.

So, she gave me lots of treats instead.

Then Sophie started to get scared that I was not really ME but just another stray cat who LOOKS like me. And I didn't want my Person to think that too so I made sure to do lots of Kismet moves last night, like throwing lots of things off of the tables and mrawing REAL LOUD to get fed REAL EARLY in the morning. And growling at Sophie. I think Sophie is still scared - she is usually scared of SOMETHING - but I am pretty sure that my Person knows that I am me, because she told me my feets are real big a few times already today.

Anyway, the moral of the story is to not trust the big smelly men in your partments. And be careful of the HOTS! And never forget where your foods lives.