Tuesday, August 28, 2007

My Big Advenchur

Innernets, I have not been able to blog lately, because my Person is so busy using the compyooter to do things for Brad Skool, and then when she was done with Brad Skool for 4 days I thought I would FINALLY get the compyooter back, but then she crashed her moovable masheen and had to use the compyooter to figure out how to get the moovable masheen to be not sick anymore, and she was REAL upset so I had to be on man cat alert, and then I was all set to blog YESTERDAY, when I GOT LOCKED OUT OF THE PARTMENT.

We live close to the ground now - in Brooklyn we lived high up - so now when persons open the door sometimes I run Out There. I do not ever go very far. I just like to eats the grass and explore in the backyard. And my Person sometimes just follows me around to make sure that I do not leave to pick up the laydees or find my chiwahwah gang, and it is fine. But YESTERDAY, my Person was taking the moovable masheen to the doctor, and when the door opened, it was a big smelly man.

Now, since I am a big dude living with all GIRLS, normally I am very excited to have other mans around. Like my friend Ted who took me outside on my leash, or that person who used to live with my Person's boyfrend Joe, who told me many times that he thought I was a bobcat. But THIS guy was not even interested in me at all, and when he opened the door and I ran outside, he just LET ME GO.

At first I thought this was so great. Because I got to get away from Sophie for awhile, and eat lots of grass and explore and make sure that there was nothing vishus Out There waiting to eat my foods or attack my Person. And also to see if there are other foods hiding Out There, or maybe other cats, because there could be. You never know.

But eventually, I started to get kind of HOTS. I don't know if you remember, innernets, but I DO NOT SO MUCH LIKE THE HOTS, and I am a big guy, and I am kind of hairy, and I was outside for MANY HOWRS, and it just got VERY HOTS.

So when my Person came back in a DIFFERENT moovable masheen, she got owt and I ran over and mraw mraw mraw'd. And she said, "what are you doing out here??" And then she got REAL MAD. Not at me, because I am her big guy, but at that big smelly man, who I guess was there to fix some stuff in the partment, which is just dumb, because I AM A BIG MAN AND I CAN FIX THESE THINGS. So she scooped me up and gave me lots of smooches and called me a very good boy for not running away - as if I would leave the place where the FOODS is - and took me back inside. And I found the coolest place in the whole partment to lay down and recover from my big advenchur.

Which is in the front closet.

Anyway, while I was getting cool, my Person got BACK on the compyooter and there was a email from the man who owns the partment. And he said that the reepareman had let me out and tried to find me but he couldn't, and that he hoped I would come back home. And that was it. MY PERSON WAS REAL MAD AT HIM!!!!! But she couldn't say anything to him because he owns the partment.

So, she gave me lots of treats instead.

Then Sophie started to get scared that I was not really ME but just another stray cat who LOOKS like me. And I didn't want my Person to think that too so I made sure to do lots of Kismet moves last night, like throwing lots of things off of the tables and mrawing REAL LOUD to get fed REAL EARLY in the morning. And growling at Sophie. I think Sophie is still scared - she is usually scared of SOMETHING - but I am pretty sure that my Person knows that I am me, because she told me my feets are real big a few times already today.

Anyway, the moral of the story is to not trust the big smelly men in your partments. And be careful of the HOTS! And never forget where your foods lives.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Man Cat Monday

My favorite place to lay is on the back of the couch. I stretch out, which means I take up a LOT of space because I am VERY long, and I let my paws dangle, and I put my head down. It is very comfy. I call it my cat yoga, because there are certain poses that I do. When I do my yoga, my Person says that I look like a little sea lion.

PERSONALLY I do not see the resemblance. I am a very big man cat, and these sea lions do not seem very vishus. But, I did name some of my yoga poses after the sea lions, because you are supposed to name yoga poses after animals.

This is forward-facing sea lion:

This is backward-facing sea lion:
Man cat lives are very stressful and it is important to do things like sea lion yoga to de-stress. Give it a try the next time you are stressed out, like from maybe NOT GETTING THE FOODS WHEN YOU WANT THE FOODS or having SMALL ORNJ CATS ATTACK YOUR TAIL WHICH IS NOT A TOY. It helps!