Monday, December 15, 2008


HI!!! It's ME, SOPHIE! I know my bruther has not BLOGGED in FOREVER, but I think he will soon. BUT I, SOPHIE, had a VARY SCAYREE ADVENCHUR, and wunted to blog abowt it, so he said I COULD! I LOVE MY BRUTHER!

One day not vary long ago, the nyce laydee kaym home after visiting Mr. Jahb. She had MANY BAGS in her hands when she was coming in the door. SOME OF THEM HAD FOODS IN THEM!!! I LOVE FOODS!!!

Whenever the nyce laydee comes in the door my bruther tries to run owtsyd. He has gotted owt a FEW times, but he never gets vary far before the nyce LAYDEE catches him. So when she was coming in this time with all the BAGS of FOODS, she yoozed her feets to push him back. And while she was doing that, I, SOPHIE, RUNNED OWT!!!!

I am not shur why. I lived owtsyd before so I know what it is LYK owt there, and I used to be VARY ascayred of going owt EVER, but heer in VirJINya I am VARY afassinayted by the owtsyd. And since my bruther always wunts to go owt, and I wunt to do WHATEVER my bruther does, I thawt maybe I would TRY IT!

WELL, the nyce laydee didn't SEE that I had gotted owt! So she just shut the door and went upstairs to do something on the compyooter that I am Not Allowed to touch (acuz I kinda broked it, but that is not the story I am telling right now). AND I, SOPHIE, WAS ALONE OWTSYD!

To tell yoo the trooth I was VARY afyoozed abowt how I had gotted owt there in the first place and why. So I just stood owt there staring at the door and meowing REAL LOWD and APITIFULLY. And the nyce laydee was gone FOREVER, but she said later that when she was upstairs on the compyooter she could HEER me meowing, and she thought, "Oh no, a stray cat must be owtsyd! It is cold owt, I will go see if it is ok."

So she FINALLY came back down and who did she see owtsyd but ME!!! SOPHIE!!!! She was VARY aprized and opened the door and I RAN RIGHT IN and went under the kowch and would not come owt for a long time, like maybe ten whole MINUTES. My paws were VARY cold and the whole thing really made me remember what it is LIKE to live owtsyd and I don't think I will try to go owt again. Unless my bruther does too, acuz if HE is doing it, it is probly VARY afassinayting!

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Whisker Hump Wednesday

One of the most important things about being a really big man cat is making sure your whisker humps are big. I have GINORMOUS whisker humps! I also have very big man paws. In these pikchurs, which are called Polaroyds (I think because they come from the North Pole, because they have white edges, like snow), you can see both my whisker humps and my man paws.

For comparison, please notice that although Sophie's tail is very floofy, she does not have man paws or big whisker humps. This really proves that only man cats have this stuff.

I hope you have enjoyed this informative post. Please feel free to contact me with any man cat-related questions.

Thursday, May 08, 2008




I am going to do a Thursday 13 to explain why I have not been blogging FOREVER.

1. Mac, the mancat compyooter, went dead for awhile. He seems to be ok now. But he was dead!
2. My Person had to go see Mr. Nooz Byurow every day for a long time and she would turn Mac, the mancat compyooter, off when she left. But I think she had a fight with Mr. Nooz Byurow, because she is not going to see him anymore!
3. Mr. Nooz Byurow + Brad Skool = GRUMPY PERSON
4. I have spent LOTS of time trying to figure out ways to get out of the partment to Out There. So far this has not really worked. My ideas have inkloodid: digging through the cat TV, scratching at the door with my big man paws, running out the door whenever it is opened which gets me in Big Trouble, making very sad mraw mraw noises at the door. Since none of these have really WORKED, I am spending lots of time trying NEW things, which are also not working. Getting Out There is very hard.
5. We went to the VETS, and if you have been reading my blog for awhile, you know that this makes me VERY GROUCHY AND I MRAW MRAW AND HISS AND SOMETIMES BAT AT MY PERSON'S FACE AND EYEBALLS, WHICH IS NOT VERY NICE BUT WHAT DID YOU EXPECT TO HAPPEN, PERSON, AND EVEN THOUGH THIS VETS WAS DIFFERENT THAN THE ONE IN BROOKLYN THEY STILL BROUGHT OUT THE HAWK GLOVES FOR ME. THAT'S RIGHT, VETS!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!! Also Sophie gets very scared when we go to the VETS and it makes her go poop in the carrier THAT I HAVE TO SHARE WITH HER. AND IT SMELLS. AND STICKS TO ME. This made me grouchy enough that I did not want to talk to anyone. Not even you, innernets. I am sorry.
6. It is starting to get HOTS. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
7. In Brooklyn, one of my favorite places to sleep was on the people TV on top of the cable box. In Merruhlind, we don't HAVE a big cable box. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
8. We are on some sort of weird foods schedule. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
10. I think those are maybe all of the things that made me grouchy lately. I have also been busy threatening the many wild cats that come onto our cat TV. There is a orange cat that my Person calls Sammy. He is ALMOST BIGGER THAN ME, and he comes on the cat TV every night, and I sit and mraw mraw at him. There is another orange cat too. This cat never had a ballsectomy, so my Person just calls him ballscat. Ballscat is not bigger than me, but he does have balls. So I mraw mraw EXTRA at him.
11. None of the cats on the cat TV are lady cats. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
12. Sophie has been having hairballs all over the place. My Person gives her hairball stuff to make this better. The hairball stuff smells like toona, so I get excited when it comes out and I try to eat it, but it just sticks to my whiskers and then I have to clean it and that ALSO MAKES ME GROUCHY.
13. What can I say, innernets? I'm a busy dude.

But, now that Brad Skool is almost done (I guess that means he is going to go dead), I will have more time to blog. This makes me NOT grouchy! So if any of my friends from the innernets are still checking up on me, I should be around more often.

Here is a bonus picture of my furchin for my lady friends:

I'm sure Sophie will be around too. (SIGH)

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Seven Strange Things on Sunday

My really great friends Rosie and Cheeto tagged me and Sophie to do the "seven weird things about me" survey. I was GOING to split it, like they did, but instead Sophie and I are each going to list our OWN 7 things, because after all, it is MY blog and so I think I should get 7 all by myself.

1. I like to make blanket forts. There is a VERY specific process to this, though. First, my Person has to be laying under the blankets. Then, there has to be a little cave opening in the blanket NATURALLY - NOT one made by my Person. Then, I walk in, and dig with my big man paws, and make sure the blanket fort is strukchurally sound, and if all of that meets with my approval, ONLY THEN will I lay down. You can't just hang out in any blanket, you know.

2. When I get very hungry and grouchy, I push the water dish with my nose so it spills over the sides and the dish makes a great clanky sound on the floor. My Person does not like this.

3. When my Person comes home at night I sit by the door and mraw mraw mraw REAL loud and scratch with my big man paws so she knows I am still inside and that I am waiting for my foods. I think she forgets this stuff sometimes, so I am just trying to remind her.

4. I knock stuff off of EVERYTHING - tables, desks, bookshelves, dressers, chairs, the persons teevee. Your stuff is not safe ANYWHERE, Person! HAHA! It is for your own safety that I do it. Your stuff could be vishus without you knowing!

5. I have to hump sometimes. I only hump my Person, and only her arm or shoulder, and only when she is under a blanket. After I am done humping, I always take a bath and I don't look at my Person right away because I am a little embarrassed.

6. I usually get locked out of my Person's room in the morning because I get HUNGRY and I want my FOODS and so I make noise. And then later on, when my Person doesn't get up right away, I get worried that maybe she is not in there anymore, and has left without giving me my FOODS, or that something vishus that I didn't notice got her, and then I might NEVER get my FOODS, so I scratch at the door with my man paws and I mraw mraw a LOT. Eventually my Person will say "Kis-MET!" and then, because I know she is in there and alive, I stop.

7. I have a LOT of dreems, and when I am dreeming, my big whisker humps twitch and so do my man paws and my back legs, and sometimes I mraw mraw or lick my lips in my sleep. My Person says "Get him Kizzy!" to me while I sleep, just in case I am dreaming of chasing some other big man cats. This shows that she understands that I am a big dude and I could chase down any other big dude, if I wanted to. I think that is nice of her!

HI! I ARE SOPHIE! I ARE VARY ACITED to tell yoo some WEERD things about ME!!!!

1. I LOVE TO EAT FOODS! ANY kind of foods, I will eat them all!! The nyce laydee says I must have been a dawg in a past lyfe. CAN YOO IMAGINE ME, SOPHIE, AS A DAWG??? Some of the foods I lyke to eat are: peetsuh, ryce kayks, cookees, peenut butter, any kind of CHEEZ, ryce, potaytohs, and krakers. I LOVE FOODS!!!

2. Since I moved in with the nyce laydee and my bruther Kismet, I have learned to be a VARY kleen kitty and to kleen my furs and my TOES and my TAYL many times thru owt the day. (I was vary stinky beefor my bruther tawt me to be kleen!) And when I kleen myself, I suck on my furs and I make snorty sownds. The nyce laydee calls it my snorgling. It can be VARY lowd!!

3. When I yawn, I make a hacking sownd that sometimes ascayres the nyce laydee!!

4. One of my whiskers on top of my head is black. Just one!!!!

5. I have 2 black polka dots on one of my eers!!! The nyce laydee sayz they are my fashun axsessorees!!! This meens I am VARY fashunable, even when I am NOOD!!!!

6. I LOVE MY BRUTHER AND THE NYCE LAYDEE A LOT, but I love my bruther MOST of all. I go EVARYWHERE he goes. If we are in a room with the nyce laydee and my bruther leaves, I go with! If we are in bed with the nyce laydee and my bruther leaves, I GO WITH! If my bruther is watching the cat teevee, or poopsing, or knocking things off the dresser, I GO WITH!

My bruther does not always LYKE that, but I CAN'T HELP IT! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!! Plus he is VARY fassinayting.

7. Whenever anyone reeches down to pet me - becuz I are VARY small, yoo know - I stand up on my tippy toes and DIVE into their hand!! I get VARY good pets this way.

I, Kismet, also wanted to say in response to questions on my last post: Sophie NEVER cleans my Spot 13. That is man cat only territory. However, I have cleaned hers before, because it is STINKY AND NEEDS TO BE CLEANED.

I hope you liked our strange things!

Monday, January 14, 2008

Man Cat Monday

Sup innernets. I wanted to post a HAPPY NEW YEAR blog and a KRISMISS blog but my Person LEFT US ALONE FOREVER AND EVER. It was not SO bad because some lady came and gave us the foods and cleaned our poops (cleaned them much better than my Person does, too), but I get VERY GRUMPY when my Person leaves me alone with Sophie for a LONG TIME.

Anyway, since I haven't been able to blog FOREVER, I didn't even get to tell you what my new year's rezolooshins are. I did not make too many because I think I am pretty good at being my man cat self, but I did make two. The first one is to blog more. This is not really under my control because my Person controls Mack, the man cat computer, but I am going to try anyway. And my second rezolooshin is to be an even better man cat than I have been.

Which explains this picture:

Normally I do not like to be this close to Sophie, but while my Person was gone we had a LOT of time together, and while she is still VERY ANNOYING most of the time - like I don't want to play all the time, I have THINGS to do, like clean my toes and do my patrols and knock things off the dresser - it is nice of her to give me a bath. And I think a good man cat - one who might be tired from doing all his man cat stuff, for example - would just take the bath and try to enjoy it. So I did!

I hope all of my blogging friends had good new yearses and Krissmisses. I am also going to try to comment on other blogs more TOO. The year of Kismet!