Friday, April 27, 2007

Out There on my leash!

Since it is getting nice outside again, my Person decided to take me out into the great jungle Out There on my leash this week! I was very excited. We live in the air in our building, and whenever my Person opens the door to go to the front door, I always come down the stairs with her because I am a very intrepid explorer. But when it was cold outside she would never let me go outside of the door. BUT THIS WEEK SHE FINALLY DID! I explored many things.
This is me sitting under this very big metal thing. It had gas, as you can see by the gas can in the back, but it was not the same smelly kind of gas that my sister Sophie has. I spent a LOT of time sniffing the big metal thing's blanket, because it smelled a lot like MEATS!!! And I REALLY like meats. I tried to lick the blanket a few times too, but my Person said "Kismet, that is gross" and made me move on to other things. She told me that the big metal thing is used for cooking meats and that is why it smelled like them. My Person does not eat meats, so it is really a miracle that I even remember what they smell like.

Since my Person would not let me lick the metal thing's blanket, I instead decided to eat some grass. I LOVE GRASS! I also looked around for some sellree, but I did not find any. I guess we do not grow our own sellree. But the grass was still VERY delishus.

The jungle is set up for a man cat, I think, because the grass is just tall enough that I can sit my booty on this big chair to eat it. It was a little difficult to get the eating stance right, though. I had to spread my very big back feets out to brace myself, and put most my man cat weight on my very big FRONT feets. It worked PERFECTLY once I figured it out, though! Here is a picture of my very big back feets in the right position. And also of my booty.
Being out in the jungle makes me feel like a WILD CAT! If you a young cat and scare easily you might not want to look at the next two pictures, because I do not want you to be spooked by my WILD CATNESS!
Although, if you have never been to the jungle, you might not even be able to find me in these pictures at all.

There are many things in the jungle that will distract you, and also some that will sneak up on you. That is why you have to be alert at all times. Notice how I am in the middle of my snack, but have made sure to stop eating when I hear DANGER approaching!

Once I decided that there was no immediate danger, I allowed myself to keep eating my snack - but I still kept my eyes out and my ears pricked!

It was a VERY GREAT trip into the jungle, but eventually we had to go back inside because the whole time we were Out There, my sister Sophie sat in the window and cried and cried and cried. She wants to type this part herself.

Hi! I are Sophie! I are yoozing my bruther's blog to tawk about how SCAYREE it was when my bruther was gawn! I sitted in the window and CRYED and CRYED. "WARE IS MY BRUTHER?? WY IS HE GAWN??? CAN YOU HEER ME, NICE LAYDEEE???" I thawted that maybe they had gawn to live outsyd, becuz I yoost to live outsyd, and I do not want to live outsyd AGENN, but if my bruther AND the nice laydee are going to live outsyd, I would rather be outsyd with them then alohn by myself in HEER. But then they kaym back! And I was so acited to see my bruther! And then we gotted FOODS!!!! My bruther wuns to typ now. It is nyc of him to let me yooz his blog becuz I know that he doesn't lyk it when I yooz his blog.

Anyway, my Person says that Sophie can't go outside in the jungle with us because she does not have a leash for her yet, and obveeisslee she cannot use mine because it would be WAY TOO BIG, and she also thinks that Sophie wouldn't even want to go in the jungle unless I was going too. So for now, jungle time is just me and my Person. I am not sure the jungle Out There is a good place for tiny girl cats, anyway.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007


I have discovered a new foods that I like a LOT. Here is a picture of me trying it for the first time. You can see how happy I am by the look on my face.

Here is a closeup so you can see what the foods looks like:
My Person says it is called sellree and she was VERY surprised when she saw me eating it. Personally I do not understand why she was confused - it is a lot like cat grass, which I LOVE, but it has a little more kick to it. Since I am such a big guy, I can handle kicky foods. And the BEST PART about sellree is that my sister Sophie, who eats ANYTHING, including gross foods like rys kayks and peenut butter that I would not even touch with one TOE, DOES NOT LIKE SELLREE!!! So I do not have to fight her for it at ALL.
Here I am licking my lips just to make sure there was no sellree I missed. (If you make it bigger, you can REALLY see me!) It was very delishus. If you like cat grass, you should try it! If you like Friskies, you should try it too, because I also like Friskies.

Saturday, April 21, 2007


Sophie is in trouble.After this, I peed in a basket.

My Person says it's a ruff morning in our apartment, but I don't see any dogs around.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Fluffy things

Lately Sophie and I have been hanging out a LOT in the people catbox room. The spot where I am sitting is the person catbox, but when the persons are not using it they cover it with this nice smooth cover that feels very nice on my booty. I usually sit here when my Person is pouring water on herself in the big white box, but it feels so nice on my booty that lately I have been sitting there even after she is all done with the pouring.
Sophie follows me around and wants to do EVERYTHING I DO LIKE EVEN USING MY BLOG, so when I sit on the white thing she sometimes will sit with me. But when my Person gets out of the big white box, Sophie always hops right in.
She likes to sit there and give herself a bath, and she also likes to hide behind the kurtin and watch me. I think that she thinks that I can't see her, but I can. But I play along, because watching me from behind the kurtin is one of the less annoying things that Sophie does.

Since today is Friday, I am posting some pictures of Sophie's tail for her. In the post SHE MADE ON MY BLOG, Eric told her about Fluffy Friday, and since I know that Fridays are also Formerly Feral (which Sophie is too) I GUESS I WILL LET HER show her tail on my blog. It is VERY fluffy.

My Person calls it a rakoon tail. I have never met a rakoon, but I bet they have big fluffy tails too. MY tail only gets big when things around me might be vishus.

Friday, April 13, 2007

I help TOO!

Hi! I are Sophie! I are using Kismet's blog becuz I red his post about helping fold the lawndree and I wanted to show evrywun that I helped too!
Here I are! After I saw my bruther helping fold the clohz, I wanted to help too, becuz I want to do EVRYTHING my bruther does! I love my bruther!
Here I are agenn! My tayl is vary fluffy! Luk how nyclee the clohz are foldid! I helped!
OOh, something SHYNEE!

My bruther does not lyk it when I yooz his blog.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Just me and my pee

Even though the VETS said that my pee is normal (which I knew. It is very smelly and when I pee a lot of it comes out. TOTALLY NORMAL, PERSON), I have still been peeing on the chair a lot. I have been hearing my Person say that she might just get rid of the chair, and I really hope that she does not do this, because peeing on the chair is the BEST! First I hop up onto it and use my very big front feets to clean off the surface. This is very important because you can't just pee on ANYTHING, it has to be clean! So I use my feets to scrape it off. This is also good in case there are some foods or other very tiny cats that you cannot see, because you would not want to pee on either of these things. Then I shake my booty a little bit, and I put my front feets on the back of the chair and lift my tail up and just pee away. It is VERY comfy to pee like this, because the chair is so skwishy and soft. My Person has caught me a few times and everytime she says "Kismet NO! We do NOT pee on the furniture!" and she grabs me and puts me in front of the litterbox. And I just say, mraw mraw Person, obveeisslee WE do not pee on the furniture, I am the one who pees on the furniture MRAW MRAW." And then just to throw her off I use my front feets to sweep up the floor in front of the litterbox, but when she is not looking I go back and pee on the chair. Sometimes it takes two or three tries before I get all of the pee out, but it is worth it to be so comfy!

Since I know that my peeing on the chair makes my Person upset, I have tried to make up for it by being a very good boy in other ways. Like, I keep her company when she is in the big white box pouring water all over herself.
Here I am supervising the pouring of the water. I do not really understand the whole act of pouring water over oneself, but nomatter how loud I sit there and mraw mraw (and sometimes I even reach in to grab her leg and try to pull her OUT), my Person will not stop doing it, so I like to make sure that the water is not too hot for her. Then while she is in there, I catch up on my reading about the famous ladies.
Yesterday, I also helped with the laundry. First, I supervised the folding of the clothes. This is very important, because I like things to be CLEAN! I also particularly liked this shirt because it has the word HAM on it, and I like ham. I know my friends the meezers like it too!
(If you make this picture big, you can see the chair (the one I pee on) in the background. Doesn't it look skwishy and like you want to pee on it too???)
After that, I helped my Person make the bed. This is ALSO important, because I sleep on that bed every night so I HAVE to make sure that there are no mices or other cats hiding underneath the blankets, and I also have to approve of where they are all placed.
This is me giving it the paws of approval.

Anyway, I know my Person doesn't like me peeing on the chair, but with all of the nice good boy things I have been doing lately, how could she REALLY be mad?

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

The results are IN!

I did not hear about my pee until YESTERDAY because the VETS never called my Person when they said they would! I was kind of fine with this, because I hate the VETS and I also hate hearing about my pee, and just to drive this point home I made sure to pee again on the chair last night. But anyway, my Person heard back from the VETS, after she called them three times, which made her very grouchy, and my pees are fine. WHICH I KNEW ALL ALONG, THANK YOU. My pee's pee aytch is normal and I do not have any crystals, which are sparkly things that girl cats wear, so of course I do not have any. This whole thing was stupid. I should never have had to go to the VETS to begin with.

Anyway, I did not pee on the chair today. My Person said she talked to the nice man who introduced us and that he has given her lots of ideas to stop the peeing on the chair. I just mrawed at her and made sure that she remembered that SOME persons think that I am a HAWK, and maybe she shouldn't mess around with me too much, if you know what I am SAYING.

I am sure that I will pee on the chair again at some point, though. You have to keep your persons on their toes.

Sunday, April 01, 2007


WELL. I went to the VETS yesterday.

I knew I was going soon, because I heard my Person talking about it, but I didn't know exactly when, so I had to be on the lookout. And yesterday when she brought out my HUGE prison box, I knew it was time! She put the prison box on the floor, and I was sitting on the couch, and when she came over to me and picked me up, I decided to get warmed up for the VETS by putting up a fight about getting into the box. My Person tried to slide me into the box while it was sitting on the floor, but I used my very big paws to grab the sides of the box to keep myself out of it. I thought maybe once my Person saw how strong I am and how big my paws are she would realize that I do not need to go to the VETS, EVER, but unfortunately she did not seem to think this way, because she turned the prison box on its booty and dropped me into it that way. I tried to use my very big back feets to stay out of it, but it didn't exactly work.

To be honest, I don't really mind being in the prison box. I like to curl up and be carried around (if I had a harem, I imagine this is what it would be like!). My Person carries the box while we walk to the VETS, and she always puts some of her fingers in the prison bars so that I know that it is really HER carrying me around, and I put my nose through the bars right by her hand and I make sure to mraw mraw whenever we pass other persons so that they know that a very big man cat is passing them by. It was very nice out yesterday, and if I hadn't known where we were going, it would have been a very good walk.

But of course, I DID know that we were going to the VETS, and as soon as we walked inside there, I was on alert. My Person set the prison box down so she could go talk to the lady behind the counter, and I immediately began to mraw mraw very loudly. My Person came and sat back down and told me it was all going to be okay, but I knew she was LYING, because then a cat in the torchur room heard me and started mraw mrawing back. We were mrawing very loudly but then they brought that cat out to his person and he got to leave. I was very jellis, but I also knew that he understood my pain. Anyway, that is when the assistant vet man said we could go back into the torchur room.

My Person carried the prison box into the room and set it on the examinayshun table and opened the door for me. Because it was my Person opening the door, and not the vet lady or her helper, I came out obeedeeintlee, but only because I knew if I didn't, the vet lady would dump me out and that is very undignified. I sat my booty on the table and my Person rubbed my head for me while she told them about my pee problems. But then she had to go sit down, and as soon as the vet assistant man reached for me, I BOLTED!

First I ran to the edge of the table, making sure to hiss and growl and put my ears way back the whole time. The assistant man did eventually grab me and take me over to the scale, but as soon as that was done, I wiggled and wiggled and ESCAPED! I bolted over to where my Person was sitting and got under her chair. The man moved the chair next to her, and I hissed and growled and SCREEMED for all I was worth! My Person got up so he could try to get under her chair, and I bolted for the counter! I sat on the counter by the sink, and whenever he came near me, I yelled at him until finally, HE LEFT THE ROOM!!! VICTORY WAS MINE!!

My Person could sense that I was very upset and she came over to where I was sitting on the counter and began to rub my head. I growled at first and she said "oh, Kismet, it's okay" and picked me up and held me real tight. I let my ears come up and I stopped growling and glared at the vet lady. I couldn't see her, but I am sure that my Person was glaring at her too.

Unfortunately, the assistant man came back in. But he was wearing these:

HUGE fake hands and arms that went all way almost up to his shoulder! My Person said later that those fake hands and arms are used when people hold big huge birds like HAWKS! I MADE HIM SO SCARED THAT HE THOUGHT I WAS A HAWK! And when he came in and saw that my Person was holding me and I was being a very good boy, he said "Oh. Of COURSE." And the vet lady said, "well, you aren't his mom." And I said, THAT'S RIGHT YOU AREN'T!

My Person asked if it would be better if she just held me while they torchured me with pointy sticks. But the vet lady said "we actually need him to lay down, so that probably wouldn't work." So my Person put me very carefully on the torchur table, and the assistant man came over and put a towel over my head (probably because he knew that seeing his face would FILL ME WITH RAGE), and they proceeded to do very awful things. Like the vet lady felt my belly and said "oh, he has some yurin. We can just take it out." AND THEN SHE STUCK SHARP THINGS WHERE THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO GO AND I FELT LIKE I HAD TO PEE ON THINGS, LIKE MAYBE HER TORCHUR TABLE. And then she poked me some more and stuck things up my booty, and the assistant man held my very big back feets while all of this was going on, but FINALLY she said "okay, you can go now" and brought out the prison box. And let me tell you, I JUST RAN into that prison box. I didn't even try to show them how big my paws are and how strong I am. I am kind of feeling sad about that now, but at the time, I just wanted to get OUT OF THERE. However, I do feel proud that I made that assistant man so scared that he went and got the hawk gloves!

Anyway, my Person says they will call sometime today with the results of my pee. Just to make sure she knows that this type of behavior is not ok, I peed on the chair again today. This is making her very worried about hearing from the VETS about my pee. I am glad because maybe it means that she will not take me there anymore. And if I do have to go back, that assistant man better LOOK OUT!

Before all of the VETS, Sadie tagged me for a survey about why I blog! So here are five reasons why I love the innernets:

1) I have met many great cats from blogging, and some GREAT lady cats.

2) Lots of persons read my blog too and REALLY like it. They bother my Person when I don't update. I like this because it means that I am educating all of the persons in the world about very important things, like letting cats who don't know you SNIFF you before you assume it is fine to pet them, and how cats look GREAT in shirts, and stuff like that.

3) Blogging really validaytes a lot of my opinions - like when I blog about the VETS, other cats tell me I am totally right for hating it and that I should try to get ninja stars on my file, or when I say how I like to pee on stuff, other cats TOTALLY understand.

4) Whenever I have a problem, or am confYOOZED about something, I like to blog about it and I get really great advice and suggestions from other cats. Like when the pink litterbox appeared, everyone thought I was getting a sister, and then I did! And when I HATED her at first, everyone told me it would get better - and it did!

5) Because when I need to launch things like a KAMPAYN TO GET MORE FOODS, other cats support me!

I will keep everyone posted on how my pee is. Hopefully we will hear soon and my Person will stop hovering over me and freaking out about everything I do. Like today she gave me some cheese and a little while later I blew chunks, and she FREAKED OUT. I blow chunks all the time, lady! Gosh.