MY PERSON IS HOME!

She was very excited to see me and commented on how big my feets are! Then she fed me turkey and giblets WITH ALL THE GRAVY! And now I am laying down and facing away from her, like my friend Mao said I should do to teach her a lesson. And I think it is working because she keeps coming over and telling me how big and cute I am. And I know she really must like me because she is in a bad mood because the big red box didn't come back with her but she is still being very nice to me. The big red box must be on my side too!!!!!

MY PERSON HAS BEEN FOUND!!!

I AM a most happy man cat tonight BECAUSE I KNOW WHERE MY PERSON IS!!!! She was in Whiskonsin THE WHOLE TIME!!!! And the only reason we FOUND HER is because a cat that is staying where SHE is staying saw all of the innernets action and emailed me!!!!!

The cat's name is Loretta. She sent me a nice note that said that she used to be my Person's cat before my Person moved to Brooklyn to live with me, and that my Person is staying with her, but that most of the clothes in the big red box are smelly now, so she thinks my Person is coming back to Brooklyn soon because persons don't usually like to wear smelly clothes. I got a little jelliss and asked her if my Person is rubbing her ears and making sure the Friskies grayvee gets into the dish, and Loretta said SHE DOES NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT FRISKIES ARE AND SHE DOES NOT LIKE EAR RUBS. But she did say that my Person talks to her a lot so I am pretty sure she has the right Person.

I really want to thank all of my friends on the innernets for helping me find my Person. Without your help, I would not have found her and I would still be sad and licking my paws in a most pathetic way. ESPESHULLY YOU, SKEEZIX!!!!!!!!!!!

When my Person gets back to Brooklyn, I will let you all know what kind of explanayshun she has for this atrocious behavior.

HELP!

My best friend Skeezix made a missing poster for my Person. You can get it here and print it out and hang it up Out There and HELP ME FIND MY PERSON!!!!

Reasons why I need my Person:

• she knows how to make the blanket forts
• she rubs my ears just the right way
• I need to lay on the back of the couch (the one I pee on sometimes) behind her head
• SHE GIVES ME MY FOODS and makes SURE that all of the gravy gets into my bowl
• she turns on the silver thing and lets me drink the water that comes out of it
• BECAUSE SHE IS MY PERSON!

If you see her, email me at kismetmancat@hotmail.com or leave me a comment on my blog!

Here is the last picture she took of me. That is what the red box looks like. SHE MIGHT HAVE IT WITH HER:

HAS ANYONE SEEN MY PERSON???

I have not been able to blog lately BECAUSE MY PERSON IS MISSING AND SHE TOOK THE COMPUTER WITH HER. Has anyone seen her?????? She is big -- bigger than me, and I am huge -- and her fur is brown and long and only on her head, and she knows how to open the Friskies can and is very good at rubbing my ears. WHERE DID SHE GO????

Before she left she brought out this big red box thing. I layed down in it because I am a cat and I like boxes. I thought it was a present for me! Then she filled it with some of her clothes and I thought that was nice and that she did that so that I would be more comfortable laying down in it. BUT THEN SHE TOOK IT AND LEFT.

Where is my Person?????? IS SHE EVER COMING BACK???

Just some pictures

I know you will all be so happy to learn that it has been not so hots! Because of this I have been in a much better mood and have been willing to pose for pictures -- and willing to post pictures that were taken when it WAS so hots.



This first one is from when it was still so very hots. You can tell because I am sprawled on the floor. Look how long I am! Look at my big feets! And look at Mona in the background! You can't really see her actually, but that's her butt and her white socks in the room with the person litter box.









Here I am just hanging out. Those are my legs. My front ones.



Yup.










And here I am watching the cat TV. AND THE BEST THING EVER HAPPENED ON THE CAT TV TODAY -- there was another CAT on it! You can see him in this picture! He is all black. He meowed a little bit. He did not mraw mraw like me though. I love cat TV!








I like to hang out. I'm a pretty cool cat. Did you notice my big paws? They have big toes. Did you also notice that I am hanging out on top of the computer? Sometimes I have to hang out with it for awhile before I can get into the mood to blog.

I like this picture because my whisker humps look pretty big. I've heard the ladies like that.



I'm pretty mellow right now because I sniffed some nip earlier. I think I'm gonna go sprawl around and bat at things.

Oh foods.

This morning I blew chunks and then my Person didn't notice right away and so I ate them again. I ATE THE FOODS THAT I ALREADY ATE. I have not done this in forever and I thought maybe I was over it, but after you blow chunks it just looks so much like foods normally look, and then the only reason you blow chunks in the first place is because you are so excited to eat the foods that you do it too fast, so when it comes back up you just get all excited AGAIN.

Honestly, this could just turn into a really gross cycle.

I hope you all will join me in shaking your heads in disgust.

Things to do when it is hots

When it is very hots here, like it is every second of my life lately, I get a little moody. I mraw mraw, I sprawl on the floor and attack my Person's feets, and I lay around and pout. I know this is not the most dignified behavior in the entire world, but I just can't help it because I am a very hairy and big dude and I just can't keep cool and it makes me very grouchy because when I want something, I want it now and I want it on MY OWN TERMS. The hots don't seem to understand this.

I am lucky, though, because my Person seems to really understand how grouchy I am and she does nice things to try to make me feel better. Like she feeds me cheese! I love cheese. My Person says that this makes sense, because she is from a place called Whiskonsin, where they have lots of cheese. The cats there must have HUGE whisker humps because they named the whole place after them, and I bet they get lots of cheese, too! I bet I would like it there.


She also lets me play with my ribbon wand a lot. My ribbon wand was my Krismiss present from my friend Bonnie, who is my Person's person and is also from Whiskonsin. My ribbon wand is a very dangerous creechur with many ribbon arms that attack me and my paws. Like other things (mices on top of the blankets and other cats that could be hiding in the boxes), my Person does not seem to understand how dangerous my ribbon wand is and she will HOLD IT IN HER HAND and I get very upset and so I try to kill it. That is what is going on in this picture. You can see that I am very serious about killing things to keep my Person safe. You can also get a good view of my very big toes, which help me get a better grip on things I am trying to kill.

Sometimes my Person's hands turn into dangerous creechurs too, and then I have to attack them. I hold them with my very big front paws and I kick them with my very big back feets and sometimes I mraw mraw too. Sometimes my Person seems to understand that her hands can turn bad and must be punished, because she does not usually get mad at me for doing this. But just when I think she gets it, then she WILL get mad, and then I realize that that is her AGAIN not understanding that THERE ARE LOTS OF DANGEROUS THINGS AROUND AND SOMETIMES HER HANDS ARE ONE OF THEM. Honestly. I have a really hard job.

Adventures

I know that my friends on the innernets are probably tired of hearing me say this, but it is SO HOTS LATELY. To prove this to you, I made my Person take this picture. It is kind of a gross picture, because all of those big hairballs that you see on the floor -- those are all mine. My fur. What happens is, it gets so HOTS that my fur starts to come out, and when Mona and me wrestle, she really gets her paws in there, and out come BIG CLUMPS of fur. It doesn't hurt, and I don't really mind because I am starting to think that it is maybe all of my hairs that is helping to make me so HOTS, but my Person thinks it is kind of gross and she said she would only take the picture if I promised to tell all of you that she sweeps up the furs every day. So there. I did.
Now, apart from the HOTS, some other things have been going on. Most exciting is that my Person took me back Out There today! I was very excited because I am a very good explorer. The first few times we went Out There I was a little scared UNCERTAIN because there are no lids on the rooms Out There like there are in here, and outside the eff trayn that lives under the apartment is much louder. But now I am fearless! I am an intrepid explorer! See?

Look how I walk down the path! Look at the handsome look of determinayshun on my face! That cat is GOING PLACES! For my cat friends who don't get to go Out There, that green stuff is NOT carpet. I don't know exactly what it is, but it smells delicious and it is fun to chew on, except sometimes small pieces of it get stuck in your mouth and you feel like you are going to blow chunks, so if you are going to eat it like foods you have to make sure to REALLY CHEW it!
I explored many things. This creechur was on a particularly smelly plant. He was furry like me! But much, much smaller, and he made a buzzy noise, which was kind of like purring, so at first I thought maybe he was a very small man cat. But then he kind of...floated around, and so then I decided he was not a man cat. And then my Person got all weird and tried to make me go away from him, so then I moved on to other things.


In one corner of the yard I found this couch, which is not the couch that I pee on sometimes, but is kind of like it, except less fluffy and soft. I wanted to make SURE that it was not the couch that I pee on sometimes, so I crawled up on it, and I sniffed a little, and I decided that it was NOT the couch that I pee on sometimes. But once I was up there sniffing, I noticed that the wall on the side of Out There has lots of smelly things on it too. (Another note for cats who have never been Out There -- lots of smelly things out there!) So I just hung out on the outside couch that I have never peed on and I sniffed a little bit. I know you are thinking "this is just a picture of a butt." Yes. It is. But I promise that there is a sniffing cat on the other end of that butt, and that he is me!


After all of my fearless exploring and sniffing, I got a little tired. I found this chair in another part of Out There, so I sat down for awhile. (Final note for cats who do not go Out There: THERE IS A LOT OF PLACES TO SIT DOWN, including furniture, but it is less soft and fluffy than the furniture inside.) After my little break, we came back inside, and I got some foods! All in all it was a pretty good adventure.

I also want to say thanks to my friends who email me when I have not blogged in a few days. I have just gotten my VERY OWN email address so you do not have to email me through my Person's anymore! My email is: kismetmancat@hotmail.com. You can email me there to find out what I am up to, or to ask me questions, or to tell me things you would like me to blog about! I think this will be a really great way to keep in touch with my friends, like Skeezix and Liz who gave me shirts!

The lap desk!

My Person just got the neatest thing. She says it is called a lap desk. It looks like this:

She puts it on top of her lap and then does important things on it, like writing or dooduling snayls, but that is not what it is really for. It is REALLY so that if I am trying to walk across the couch, I can walk across the lap desk instead of trying to navigate my Person's lap. I love my Person, but it is very tough to walk across her lap when I am trying to get somewhere because it is all bumpy and plus she always tries to cuddle with me and HELLO I HAVE PLACES TO GO. So I think it was pretty nice of her to get the lap desk to help me walk around. When she is not using it, it sleeps on the floor by the white fort thing, and I have been sleeping on top of it during the day too. All in all, a very great invention. You should all tell your Persons to get one!

Me and Mona

I have told you, innernets, about my cat friend Mona who lives with me and my Person and that other person. Mona belongs to that other person, and we are friends, but not GREAT friends, because Mona is kind of boring. She does not like to cuddle with persons, she does not like to be petted, and she does not like to blog. These are all really essential cat things, and I can't really understand why she doesn't like them, so Mona and I do not have a super lot in common. Interests that we do share: she LOVES the foods, she likes to rub up against my Person's legs, and she is very good at wrestling with me. Lately Mona and I have really been spending a lot of time together because she is the only one in the entire world who seems to understand HOW HOTS it is here. That is me and her in the first picture. We are all sprawled out on the floor. Mona is in the room with the human litter box and that big white thing where my Person pours water on herself, and I am by the door that goes Out There. It is our favorite hangout spot, because we each like to sprawl on a different kind of floor, and that is the only spot in the whole apartment where we can both lean against a wall but still hang out together. Here is a picture of just Mona. As you can see, she is VERY pretty:
My favorite parts of Mona are her very pink nose, the white socks she wears on all four of her paws, and -- this is the best part -- SHE HAS SOME PINK PAW PADS AND SOME BLACK PAW PADS!!!! Mona is older than me. She is eight, and I almost four. My Person is trying to be very patient with Mona and to get her to like cuddling, and I hope it works because Mona is really missing out by not being into that. One other thing that Mona does that is nice is that she licks my food bowl clean when I am done eating my foods. I like this because then there are no crusty old foods there. So all in all, I think Mona is okay.

Her licking my bowl clean has become espeshully important lately because I have discovered THE SECRET TO GETTING FOODS WHENEVER YOU WANT IT!!! Any cats reading really need to pay attention because THIS IS A BIG DEAL!!!!!

So, in the mornings, I am very hungries, because I have not had any morsels of food for almost eight hours and I am basically dying. Here is what I do:

1 - jump on the bed and mraw mraw
2 - walk on my Person
3 - sit down next to her face and have a bath
4 - cuddle with her, but ONLY for a FEW MINUTES

THEN, when she is JUST getting into the cuddles, I leave the room and give one little mrawmraw. She will usually come out of her room in about five minutes. Then she will do the things that she does in the morning. Weird things, like sticking this long foamy guy in her mouth, and splashing water on her head. Then when she is done with that, she will come sit on the couch (the one I pee on sometimes) and get on the computer.

The couch (the one I pee on sometimes) is right next to my food bowls. This is very important. Because THEN:

1 - I mraw mraw a lot
2 - I make sure she is watching, and THEN:
3 - I START TO VERY SADLY LICK THE EMPTY FOOD BOWL. This is where Mona really comes in pawdy, because if there were any morsels of dried foods in there, it would make sense for me to be licking it. But a cat who is hungries licking an empty food bowl? That is just sad.

My Person agrees, because she goes "OH MY GOD THAT IS THE SADDEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!" And then she gives me the foods. And pets me!!!! And Mona is happy too, because then there is foods for her to lick. So other cats, you should try this and let me know if it works!!