Wednesday, September 13, 2006

VERY IMPORTANT SKILLS

Here is my and my Person. This picture is from earlier this week. It is very rewarding to have a Person, but it is also a big responsibility. You have to tuck them in at night, and train them to give you the foods and the snuggles when YOU want them, and you have to make sure that they get up on time in the morning. I am just figuring out the best way to do that last one. I used to pee on the couch, but then I realized that the couch is not in the same room where my Person sleeps, so she would not notice the pee until she was already up, and that was not fun for anybody. Then I started jumping on top of her dresser and mraw mrawing really loudly, and then knocking things onto the floor, but that just made her yell "Kis-MET HONESTLY WHAT IS IT??" I couldn't think of another way to make sure she got up on time for a long time, but now I think I've got it. Listen closely, cats!

First, you listen for the loud box to start beeping. The loud box will usually be right next to the bed, and it will beep to let you know that it is time for you to help your person get up. Persons will usually ignore this, or they will hit the box, and it will stop beeping. (It doesn't like being hit, so it stops beeping for awhile in hopes that the person will go back to sleep and be late for important things. Anyway, so you have to make sure you hear it the first time, because depending on how mad it gets, it might stop beeping and never start again.) Once the box has stopped beeping, you jump onto the bed and sit right next to your person's face. Sometimes they will open their eyes and look at you, but if your person is like my Person, she will just tell you that you are cute and then go back to sleep.

Now, this next step is VERY IMPORTANT!!! What you do is, you take your very big front foots, and you put it VERY GENTLY on your person's face, and you say quietly "Mraw?" And then you just keep your paw there and keep quietly mrawing until your person gets up. It works every time!! And once they are up, they will certainly feed you and pet you and tell you what a nice, cute, handsome, big boy you are.

Sometimes you will be so excited about successfully getting your person out of bed, you will eat your morning foods too fast, and then you will vom. If this happens to you, I suggest walking away from the vom for awhile, and then coming back to inspect it. One of two things will happen then. You will either forget that it is foods that you already ate and you will eat it again, or a cat who lives with you -- like a Mona -- will come and eat it for you. Either way, DO NOT PANIC.

I hope you have found this entry informative and helpful. This is Kismet, mrawing off.

15 comments:

The Meezers said...

we find that jamming our noses or tongues up mommys nostrils works well too.

Good job Kismet - your purrson is luck to have you!

Derby said...

That is a good system for getting your bean up. Mine usually gets up OK, but I will remember this if she needs help.

Cecilia said...

Ha, ha. Yea, Bubbles jusy pokes me right in the eye. That is a sure way to get me up.

Skeeeeezix the Cat said...

This was an EXSELLENT Feline Service Annownsmint, Kizzy! Thank yoo for sharing this importunt informayshun! The Food Lady has a blak box, but it duzn't beep. There are men inside who talk and talk and she duzn't like them. She swings her arm arownd and hits them and they go qwiet. It's good Mr Tasty Face is an erly rizer, otherwise I'd have to wate until like 8am to git fed, and I wood starve to deth by then.

And lots of good info abowt the vom. I barfed in my big long box playhowse the other day and they had to cut the barfed-on end of the box off and they threw it away. They didn't evin give Rocky a chance to go over and eet it.

That is a very nice pikchur of yoo with yer persun. Is that anuther self portrit? The angle shows off yer whisker humps reely nicely!

Kaze said...

That is some wonderful advice Kismet! Of course, by the time the box makes that loud music Latte & I are usually locked out of the room. I try my hardest to MRAW so the Lap Lady hears me and she usually does.

The disturbing thing is that Chase is always still in the room with the people and he just snuggles closer. Does he not get it???

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

I don't have to rely on a loud box 'cause I start meowing and throwing myself against the bedroom door around 4:30 AM. It's very effective and usually results in my being let into the bedroom where I can get a short nap on a warm bed. But, your system seems to be working well for you, so it's probably best if you stick with it.

BTW, you look very handsome in your shirt.

Maxwell Smartkitty

Kismet said...

Meezers, that is gross! Who KNOWS what is living up in those noses??? GUARD YOUR TONGUES!!!!

Kismet said...

Skeezy - tough luck about vomming in your box fort. I usually vom when I am sitting on top of the people TV. My Person does not like that very much. I will tell her that she should try to cut the barfy parts off and throw them away!! Genius!

Jake and Bathsheba said...

Our Mom used to have a beautiful Maine Coon cat. When she got old she would gently open Mom's eyelids with her paws. She was very skilled at this and never scratched Mom's eyeballs. We knew her for a few years and she was very nice to both of us.

~J&B

Kitty Cats Corner said...

heehee. Very informative indeed!

Lexington has found if she jumps up over & over again trying to catch the dangly string coming off the swirly thing on the ceiling that makes air, Warm will get up to feed us in the morning.

*wink* Works like a charm!

Purrs - Your furrends @ The Kitty Cat's Corner

PS: Make sure to stop by our bloggie and vote for one of us!

nels, ed, nitro, and/or xing said...

kismet, you marvy clever big mancat, you! sounds like you should patent that regimen, but instead you gave it away free to us kitties--thank you! you are a fillanthrowpist!!

will we see you at the party?

purrs,
nels-ed-nito-xing

peeyes to the meezers: we wouldn't stick OUR tongues up noses--we've seen what comes outta there!!! feh!

nels, ed, nitro, and/or xing said...

ooooooo! we saw ya flirtin' with miss bathsheba!! (our dad approves of older ladies . . .;-)

Rosie & Cheeto said...

Wow, this Kismet "guide to taking care of yer lady" is a grate way to let us eggascktly what to do. We try to help the lady by throwing the box off the table at 4am but she gets mad at us instead. So she can hit it and we cant?!? How confusing.

Might we also sugjest pulling the covurs with yer teeth. Sumetimes this make owr lady laf and then she wakes up.

bat & bandit & holly said...

our mommy always has books in the bed or on the floor next to the bed, and if we paw at the pages long enough, she wakes up and feeds us because if she doesn't, sometimes bandit will start eating the books!

DaisyMae Maus said...

My mom has one of those annoying boxes, too ... When she gets up, it's still dark outside. I try to convince her NOT to get up. More snuggles would be much better than bright lights and shower noises. I need to find a way to KILL the black box of human squawks. Any ideas?
DaisyMae Maus