SO HOTS

Innernets, I do not know what is going on lately, but it has been SO HOT in our apartment! At first I thought it might just be because I am a big hairy dude, but I think my Person knows that it is hot too. She has been sleeping on top of the blankets and she has not been helping me put my shirts on lately, which I think is very nice of her, since I would probably die of hotness if I was wearing them. Because of the hotness, I have not been sleeping in the bed with my Person -- partly because the blankets make me hot and partly because she is sleeping on top of them all and so I can't make any blanket forts -- so I just sleep under the bed at night and during the day I really like to sleep on the floor because it is much much cooler. The only downside to this is that I fall asleep in strange places. Like in the pictures, I crawled under the white wood fort thing to catch up on my reading, but then I fell asleep! I have also been taking poops in Mona's litter box, but that is more because it's there than because it is hot. Anyways, I am hoping that the hotness will not last for so very long because I miss my shirts and sleeping with my Person and not feeling so SUH-LEEPY all the time! (I mean, I am a cat, so I am sleepy most of the time anyway, but usually I can at least manage to curl up in some adorable position before it happens.)

Spring cleaning!

My Person did some spring cleaning yesterday so I decided to help her. I really like cleaning! For example, whenever Mona takes a poop, she sprays litter all over the floor, and I always go over and sweep it into a pile with my paws. Mona has really stinky poops too, so the fact that I go over there to sweep it up really shows my dedication to being clean (remember, my sense of smell is a lot stronger than a person's!). And whenever I finish eating my foods, I always sweep up my foods area with my paws too, even though most of the time I am eating the wet foods and so there isn't really even anything to sweep! As you can probably guess, sweeping is my favorite type of cleaning so that is what I helped my Person with. She uses this stick thing and a big litter scoop to sweep -- she uses the brush thing to push the dust and stuff into the litter scoop. This is probably because she doesn't have paws. So after she empties out the litter scoop, I like to sit in it and make sure that she didn't forget any dirt, and then I sweep around the litter scoop in case there is some extra dirt that we can't see. My Person really appreciates it when I help her clean, you can tell. And now our apartment is very neat and tidy. Just the way I like it!

The boxes!

Well, innernets, I finally did it! I figured out how to actually get INSIDE the boxes where the foods are! Here I am inside one of them, wearing my red sweatshirt. I look kind of disappointed, because as it turns out MY foods wasn't in this box -- just lots of icky person foods. Later on in the night I got into one of the boxes where my Person keeps the big jar of my dry foods, which I am not allowed to have very much or it might clog my yurinerry trakt -- whatever that means -- but I LOVE the dry foods and I was really excited to find it! I crawled up into the box but the whole thing was dumb, because I couldn't get that big jar open with my paws, and then I COULDN'T GET OUT OF THE BOX. I kept pawing at the door and mraw mrawing but my Person was in bed so it took her a few minutes to come find me. But THEN she said "you must be so HUNGRY!" so she gave me some of the dry foods! Yes! Success!

Besides that, I am not very excited because I have to get a pawdicure soon. That is what my Person calls it when she trims my nails. I really, really, really hate pawdicures because I am A BOY AND I DO NOT NEED ANYONE TO DO MY NAILS I CAN JUST BITE THEM AND THAT IS FINE AND ANYWAY, PERSON, YOU BITE YOUR NAILS TOO SO YOU SHOULD REALLY UNDERSTAND THIS MRAW MRAW MRAW. Whenever I have to get a pawdicure I get very yowly and hissy and I use my big back feets as LETHAL WEAPONS. Usually my Person needs someone else to hold me while she cuts the nails because I am so big and strong and I can fight her off. I will let you know how it goes.

I almost forgot!

Somebody told me that today is Mother's Day. I do not really have a mom, but I do have a Person, and I love her a lot! So I thought that I would post a blog about the things that I like about my Person.

1.) She gives me the foods.
2.) She does not get very mad when I pee on the couch.
3.) Whenever she comes home, nomatter how long it has been since we have seen each other, she acts like it has been seven thousand years.
4.) She helps me build blanket forts.
5.) We really look out for each other. Like when she is in the big white box pouring the water on herself, I make sure that she is not going to drown, and in return, when I am sleeping on top of the TV, she comes over and smooches me a lot just to make sure that I do not fall off.
6.) She buys me shirts that make me look very handsome.
7.) She is very good at cuddling with me (but sometimes she tries to cuddle too much and I am not into it; I'm like, Person, I love you, but I got things to do, you know?).
8.) She introduces me to great persons like Liz and Melissa and Uncle Greg.
9.) She takes many pictures of me which really boosts my confidence and makes me think that I am pretty handsome.
10.) (THE MOST IMPORTANT) She adopted me and gave me my forever home!

I love you Person! Here is a big smooch for you!

Presents!

My Person was gone a lot this weekend, but I was very good and I did not pee anyplace that I was not supposed to, and today she finally came back and she brought her friend Liz (that is me with her in the picture. Sitting on her lap! I never do that with persons I don't know very well, so you can tell that I really like her). Liz brought me presents, including a University of Michigan T-shirt and a pink Gap hoodie. I was a little skeptical at first but Liz says that any self-respecting man cat can pull off wearing a pink hoodie and now that I am wearing it I really think that it's true. It's very comfy and the hood keeps my big ears warm, but I freak out if persons come up behind me and put the hood up and then I can't see and I am forced to do a very embarrassing backward dance and butt-scuttle so I would appreciate it if any persons reading this blog could not do that in the future. Anyway, innernets, I have to go now because my new friend Liz is leaving soon and I want to go sit on her lap before she goes! But I suggest that if you are a big dude, and you are comfortable in your big dude-ness, you should go get a pink hoodie.

Nurse Jane Fuzzy-Wuzzy

My Person stayed home today because she wasn't feeling very well. I like it when she is home but I am sad that is not feeling very well so I stayed in bed with her all day. We took some naps and cuddled. But sometimes she would wake up and try to get on the computer and I thought that maybe she shouldn't be doing that if she is sick so I sat in front of the computer and looked at her with my most serious Kismet face until she got the picture and put the computer away. She said I am her Nurse Jane Fuzzy-Wuzzy, which I did not really understand because hello, I am a boy, but then she said that it is a character from a children's book called Uncle Wiggily that her dad used to read to her. Which I still don't really understand, so I just curled up next to her and gave her some smooches on her hand, and then we went back to sleep. She seems to be feeling better now. I have the powerz of healing!!!

It's a hard life

Innernets! I am so excited to blog finally with PICTURES! My Person must have read my blog because she came home and took tons of pictures of me! So I am posting two of my most favorites. I like the first one because it is a very closeup picture and I think I look very reegul, kind of like a lion! Lions have big noses and the picture makes my nose look kind of big but I think that is okay because if you ever made fun of a lion's nose he would MRAW MRAW at you and you would think "wow." AND I WILL DO THAT TOO! I posted the second one because I am always telling you how big my paws are and I think this picture really gives you a really good idea of how big they really are. That is one of my FRONT paws, in case you were wondering.

The past few days have been pretty okay. I blew chunks a few times and I did it once right after Uncle Greg fed me and he pretended not to nice and to be really busy on the computer so that when my Person woke up she had to clean it up. Poor Person. I felt bad after that so I have been trying really hard to keep my foods down after I eat them and so far I have been doing okay.

That person who lives with my Person has ANOTHER person staying here. That person said that she thinks I am a really spoiled cat and that I like to have all of the attention and that I like to have what I want exactly when I want it. She said this after I walked into the other room and tried to eat Mona's foods, which we all know I am not supposed to do, but I do it all the time, because maybe if they didn't want me to do it they shouldn't just LEAVE THE FOODS ON THE FLOOR WITH THE DOOR OPEN ALL THE TIME. Anyway I do not think I am too spoiled. I am just misunderstood. It is so hard to be me. So hard!!!

Innernets, I do not know what is going on, but my Person has not been taking any pictures of me lately. I have been waiting and waiting to blog hoping that new pictures of me would show up on the computer but they haven't. Do you think I am ugly? Do you think I am not cute enough? Because I don't think that is it. I have been acting very adorable lately. Here are some examples:

1.) That person who lives with my Person has been really stressing about the way the futon smells like pee (to that I say, maybe you should GIVE ME FOODS WHEN YOU COME HOME instead of ignoring me, and then maybe I wouldn't HAFTA pee on things!), and so she has put it down into a bed so she can clean it. I love the futon when it is down like a bed. I love to lounge all over it. So lately I have been sitting very primly in the corner of the futon that faces my Person's room, and when she comes out I look up at her with my most prosh Kismet face, and she just LOVES it! She pets me a lot when I do that. Especially when my big paws are all tucked up underneath me.

2.) My Person was home for the usual two days a while ago and she took all of the blankets off of the bed and took them away and when she brought them back they were all warm and very clean and delicious smelling. And I was kind of mad that they were gone, because I really wanted to make a blanket fort that particular day, so when she brought them back I was VERY excited and so I was very ultra helpful to her when she was putting them back on the bed. First, I climbed up under the foam pad thingy that she has under the blankets, just to make sure that there were no cats or foods in there (I am always on the lookout!). Then she put the blanket on it, and I ran under THERE and made a blanket fort real fast. But then the STRANGEST THING happened -- there were mices running on top of the blanket! Okay, I don't actually KNOW that they were mices, but they were very small things pattering above me (my Person did not seem very concerned; she just called to my Uncle Greg to come "play with Kismet with your hands", whatever that means -- honestly, innernets, I don't know if my Person UNDERSTANDS THE DANGERS that are in our apartment at any given time) and so, because I am very big and very brave, I batted and swatted at those mices with all of my might, even though I was under the blanket! I got some treats after that, so maybe my Person DOES understand the risks I take for her safety.

3.) I had my most favorite baseball shirt on, and I sneaked into that person's room to steal some of Mona's food, and it was very hot in there, and so I took my shirt off. And I hid it! I thought this was a very funny joke to play on my Person. But when I came out of the room all nakey, she just laughed at me. And I got MORE treats! And you know what, innernets? She STILL hasn't found my shirt.

PLUS lately I have been very sure to sweep up my foods area with my paws when I am done eating. Since I do not eat dry food very often this is not EXACTLY necessary, but I like to try to keep things neat for my Person (but I have to be honest and tell you that SHE is not the greatest at picking things up. I would pick things up for her if I knew where they went!).

I mean, based on all of that, I think I am pretty cute and totally worthy of being the subject of many photographs. I will just have to keep doing cute things I guess, so that my Person will SEE THE LIGHT! Keep your paws crossed innernets!!!!