The Blog of a Big Man Cat

Whisker Hump Wednesday (In Memory)

2011-08-17T05:49:00.000-04:00

In the past few days I have been reminded, once again, of all the reasons I so love the Cat Blogosphere. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your condolences, your Kismet memories and your sympathy over the loss of my wonderful big man cat. It has been an extremely difficult and emotional time (and I am sure there it will be that way for awhile), but please please know that your support and your friendship mean everything to me and offer me comfort at a time when very little makes me feel better. And above all, knowing that Kismet is remembered and loved makes it a little bit easier for me.

In the spirit of Whisker Hump Wednesday (so appropriate!!), I wanted to tell you my side of Kismet's story. I love all of my pets, but Kismet was the first cat who was ever my very own, and I told him often that he was my cat soulmate and the cat love of my life. I really think we were meant to be together.

I first saw the big man cat in a cage at an adoption event at PetCo in Union Square, New York City. I had just moved to New York and left two cats behind - before I moved to the city, I was living at home in Wisconsin with my dad and two wonderful cats - and was missing them terribly, so I dragged my boyfriend to the pet store so we could at least look at other cats. And there was Kismet, all square-faced and huge man parts, in a cage, paws crossed, looking completely unimpressed. I remember the look he gave me through the bars of that cage, like, "Seriously? This is where they put me?"

I just loved him instantly. I asked the adoption rep if I could hold him, but he told me that they try not to let people hold the cats unless they are seriously thinking of adopting. My boyfriend and I were subletting a tiny apartment for the summer, a deal that included sitting for the resident cat, so adopting wasn't an option for me at the time. But I decided to start volunteering with the cat rescue organization (KittyKind), so that I could at least put in some face-time with cats while I waited to get a place of my own.

When I started volunteering, I looked for Kismet every day, but he was gone. I asked a few people what had happened to him but no one seemed to know, so I just assumed he'd been adopted. Then, a few months later, I got an email from a KittyKind rep, asking if anyone remembered a cat named Kismet. He'd been in foster care (the adoption fair situation did not WORK for Kismet; he ended up getting a urinary tract blockage from the stress), but was ready to be adopted. The rep wanted to know if we knew anyone who might want him, as they didn't want to send him back to the adoption fair situation that had stressed him out in the first place.

I IMMEDIATELY replied and said, I want him! (I remember typing and sending that email super-fast because I was sure there was a long line of people waiting for Kismet, and I wanted to be first.) A few days later I headed to his foster home to do a meet and greet. He was pretty uninterested in me, if I remember correctly, but he was just so HUGE and I knew I wanted him. I took him home shortly thereafter, and thus began our life together.

It's hard to explain Kismet to people who have never met him. He was the most vocal cat I've ever met. He ALWAYS had something to tell me, something to complain about, something to say, an opinion about EVERYTHING. Coming home at night was always fun because as soon as I put my key in the lock I could hear him run to the door, already mraw-mrawing about everything that had happened to him that day. He was hungry all. the. time. In the early years, he would wake me up by mrawing and then knocking my belongings off various tables, then running to the kitchen when I finally got out of bed. More recently, his favorite thing to do was sit by my face and wake me up by tapping my mouth with his paw. I'd open my eyes and see him sitting there, looking at me intently, like he truly couldn't figure out what was taking so long because GOOD LORD, WOMAN, IT'S BEEN EIGHT HOURS SINCE I ATE AND THAT FRISKIES CAN IS NOT GOING TO OPEN ITSELF.

He liked new people, but he liked to be introduced to them in a very specific way - he wanted to sniff your hand first, then rub on your legs, and THEN, and ONLY THEN, could you pet him. And, naturally, he would be talking to you the whole time. I think this is why a lot of people in my life thought he wasn't friendly, which wasn't true - he just wanted you to do things his way, and he wanted to talk to you about his feelings ALL THE TIME, and most people didn't get that. I didn't care. Because I got it.

He humped blankets from the minute I brought him home, and he liked to climb under the covers, but only if you didn't seem like you really WANTED him to.

He let me touch and play with his paws as much as I wanted to (which was a lot).

He would sit on the side of the tub when I showered and would guard the door whenever I washed my face and brushed my teeth. He stole food - would steal it right off your plate, no manners at all - and he loved to escape, to explore, to see what was outside and around the corner. He was fearless and he was interested in everything.

He let me spoon with him. He had the best and most delicious cat smell in the world.

I don't know the beginning of Kismet's story, and his adoption rep (who I've kept in touch with) doesn't remember exactly either. He thinks someone just left him at the pet store, but that never seemed right to me, so I just decided that he used to roam the streets of New York with a gang of chihuahuas before I met him. I don't know why he picked me, I just know that because he did, I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

I wish he'd had a big strong heart to match all of his personality. Our original deal was that he had to outlive me, but after he was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy, our new deal was that he just had to let me know when it was time. We made a handful of emergency vet trips where I left him in oxygen overnight and I told him, every time, that it was okay if he wanted to go, that he just had to let me know. I want to think that this - the way he left me, inches from my pillow on a Saturday morning - was just him letting me know. I worry, a lot, that he spent all night struggling to breathe and I just didn't know it. I hope he knows that if I had known, I would have had him in an oxygen tent in minutes. I hope I didn't fail him when he needed me. Most of all, I hope he knows how loved he was, but I don't worry about that one too much. There was no way for him not to know. I told him all the time.

Thank you all again so, so much for following Kismet's life with me. I don't know what will happen to the blog (I'll leave it up, always, but I don't know if I will update), but I do receive the comment notification emails, so please feel free to check in any time. If you would like to do something to honor his memory, please think about donating in his name to KittyKind. I am forever grateful to them for rescuing my big man cat, and for getting him the expensive urinary tract surgery he needed, and for providing me with the amazing Stephen, our adoption rep, who gave me advice and comfort during every single one of Kismet's medical scares, and now his passing.

Most of all, please remember Kismet. He was the most special cat I've ever known and the hole he left behind is enormous.

Person post

2011-08-13T11:33:00.004-04:00

Hi cat bloggers,

My big, wonderful, grumpy, whisker-humped man cat left me this morning in his sleep. He died in bed next to me and, as a final show of defiance, made sure to pee all over the bed right before I woke up.

I hope wherever he is is a place full of Friskies (more than I gave him, which was NEVER ENOUGH), Cheez-Its, doors to escape through, blankets to hump, furniture to scratch, futons to pee on and persons to mraw at.

I can never thank you enough for the love and support you have shown Kismet over the years, especially when he was first diagnosed with cardiomyopathy. I'm so thankful that he touched so many lives. I will miss him forever.

Kismet, 2002-2011

My Person is hogging Mack

2011-08-11T10:02:00.004-04:00

Innernets, I have not been able to blog in forever, because my Person takes Mack the mancat computer with her wherever she goes lately. And she LEFT US ALONE for THREE DAYS while she went to North Karolyna to find us a place to live, and I don't like it when my Person leaves, but I didn't pee on anything while she was gone, and you would think that to reward me for that she would let me blog but NO. And I have a great Man Cat Monday post that I CAN'T EVEN DO NOW because it is not Monday. So to explain to her my UPSETNESS, the night after she got back I spent a lot of time mraw mrawing and walking all over her and sitting on top of her and sitting next to her and patting her mouth with my man paws. Because not only was I mad and HUNGRY (ALWAYS HUNGRY), but lots of things had happened while she was gone and I had to tell her about them and innernets, do you think my Person woke up to listen to me? No. What she did was, she chased me down when I was sitting on top of the refrigerator and mraw mrawing at her (I figured she could hear me better if I was up there, and then when she wasn't listening I maybe pushed some things off the refrigerator with my man paws), and she picked me up and put me on the ground and told me I was being annoying. ANNOYING! I was just trying to TELL HER what had HAPPENED TO ME while I was gone and also, now that you're up, Person, maybe you could give me some more foods, because I know they are around here somewhere and I am hungry, but no, it did not quite work out the way I wanted.

Anyway, we are moving to North Karolyna in about a week and a half, so you may not hear from me until we get there because I doubt my Person is going to let me use Mack the mancat computer because she is on it all the time trying to figure out things for the move. And honestly, innernets, how hard is it to figure out how to move, you just get in the movable masheen and go, but apparently my Person needs to talk to Mack about it a lot. I am sure, though, that I will have MANY ADVENCHURS to report once we get there, so don't forget about me while I am gone!

And in case you were wondering my sister Sophie is still doing really good. My Person says she is just hoping we all make it North Karolyna without any drama, and she looked right at me when she said it, and I just looked right back at her because WHAT, PERSON, and also, I would still like more foods.

On the road again

2011-07-28T10:54:00.007-04:00

My Person offishully made friends with new Mr. Jahb, so we are going to be MOVING TO NORTH KAROLYNA!

I feel fine about the moving, innernets. Some cats get nervous and are resistant to change, but I am a large and advenchuriss man and I like going to new places, like out in the hallway or Out There or on top of the fridge (there's foods in there you know). It is good that my Person has me to help with the move because I have many talents that come in handy.

I can help navigate:

I see foods.

I can put together furniture:

The furniture is in here. I am pretty sure.

I can clean:

You missed a spot.

Sophie cannot do much of anything except for freak out when we are in the car and hide under furniture in the new 'partment. Sophie gets drugs when we go on trips, and we ride in the same carrier because she needs me around to feel safe. But SOMETIMES when we are in the movable masheen I have to leave the carrier to go in the front seat and see my Person and make sure that she knows where she is going and also to check around to see if there are any foods or other cats or vishus things hiding up there, because you just never know.

North Karolyna will be the fifth place I have lived. I have also lived with my Person in Brooklyn (above the eff trayn), Merruhlind, Virjinya, and now Whiskonsin. We also drove all the way to Californyuh and back, but my Person did not like that trip because I escaped in Noo Mexico and was gone for many hours in the middle of the night, and then when we drove back to Whiskonsin my broked heart did not like the meowntains in Colorado and I had foam come out of my nose and we had to stop at an emergency VETS in Nebraska and I am sad to say that I was too tired to even fight the VETS then, so it is a good thing that we will never live in Nebraska because that VETS probably thinks she can mess with me. Because of all of this my Person is nervous about the trip to North Karolyna. I don't really know what to say about that, innernets, because I am a big dude and sometimes on trips I just gotta do what I gotta do, but this trip is a lot shorter than the one to Californyuh and back so I don't know if there will be enough time to have any big advenchurs. Anyways my point is, I have been a lot of places and so I am a man cat of the world and the lady cats in North Karolyna better hold on to their ladyparts because I am coming soon!!

Thursday Thirteen

2011-07-21T19:23:00.010-04:00

1. The VETS called my Person and said that all of Sophie's test results came back normal which I guess means that she passed, but I don't think it means she gets to grajooyate from anything, just that she probably doesn't have pankreea-tytus. The VETS said they are still not exactly sure what was wrong with my sister, but that she MIGHT still have pankreea-tytus, or maybe she just had a virus, or maybe her bowels are irritable. I have never talked to Sophie's bowels so I can't tell you if they are cranky, but they sure do stink sometimes. Anyways the VETS said my Person should just keep feeding Sophie her new foods and monitor her poops. I did not offer to help.

Beware of the back end, innernets.

2. Sophie is now eating different foods than me. She likes the new foods okay but not as much as she likes my foods, so she eats them slower. Because of this I eat my foods in the human litterbox room. (It is very undignified to eat in there, but I have to go where my Person puts the foods.) I am a big dude so I eat really fast and then I mraw mraw and paw at the door because I KNOW that Sophie's foods are out there and she hasn't finished them and if you SNOOZE YOU LOSE, KID, LET ME AT THOSE FOODS, but my Person never lets me out to eat them because she does not understand the rules of eating the foods.

3. This annoys me but so far I have not peed on anything even once about it.

4. But when my Person got back from visiting potenshul new friend Jahb, I did try to pee in her suitcase. Twice. But she caught me. Twice. She still has not unpacked the suitcase, but to keep me from peeing in it she just makes sure to keep it closed.

5. So now I sleep on it instead. HAHA PERSON!

6. My Person is talking to someone else who knows potenshul friend Jahb tomorrow morning and she said she hopes that Jahb will decide if he wants to be friends with her soon after that. I hope he decides soon and that he decides yes, because the friend Jahb my Person hangs out with now takes up way too much of her time.

7. By the time she gets home I have so much stuff to tell her that I just follow her around and mraw mraw for hours and it takes away from the other manly stuff that I need to be doing, like cleaning my whisker humps and prowling for hidden foods and watching the cat TV and ignoring that rabbit that lives here.

He doesn't help with the patrols or ANYTHING.

8. When we lived in Virjinya my Person's friend Jahb only took SOME of her time and I only had to mraw mraw at her about stuff for a little while before she was all caught up. It was a much better balance and my life was not quite so HARD then.

9. Sadie was wondering if I still wear shirts. (How YOU doin', Sadie?) All of my mancat shirts are in a place called Storij. Most of my Person's stuff is there since we had to move back to Whiskonsin so suddenly. HOPEFULLY if potenshul new friend Jahb decides he wants to be friends with my Person, she can go to Storij and get her stuff (and MY shirts). But for now, I am nude all the time. Drink it in, laydeez.

10. Right now the partment we are living in is in a big huge building of lots of partments so I have not had a chance to run Out There. But sometimes when my Person comes in the partment I TAKE OFF into the hallway! It is a very long hallway and I just trot down it, mraw mrawing the whole time so that any persons I pass know who I am and that I am a big dude who lives by them, just in case they didn't know. I never get too far before my Person comes out and scoops me up and says, "Where do you think you are going?" And I am all, "Down the hall, Person," which I think is pretty obvious, innernets, espeshully since she SAW ME GOING DOWN THERE, but my Person does not understand these things.

11. I have not gone into the hallway lately because the HOTS are here. I hate the HOTS. My Person has kept it nice and cool in the partment for us, so I am not going into that hallway no way no how, except if my Person left the door open I would HAVE TO even though the HOTS are out there, just because exploring is a manly thing to do so I would have no choice.

12. Obveeissly, those types of responsibilities come with being a man cat. It is hard to be me.

Thinking about my hardships.

13. I am glad that so many of my friends are still blogging and that so many people still remember me (not that I REALLY thought you would forget me, but who knows?). It is good to be back, innernets!

Man Cat Monday

2011-07-18T10:33:00.006-04:00

But first a little update on my sister. After staying at the VETS while my Person was gone meeting potenshul new friend Jahb, Sophie is back home and doing fine. She is still not 100 percent herself, but she is a LOT more herself than she was last week, which means I have hissed and growled at her some because she has started bugging me again. My Person considers this a good sign, but I think it is mostly just annoying. We are both eating the foods and pooping. The VETS is sending Sophie's test out today and we may not get her scores until next week which is like A YEAR, so for now we are just hanging out and waiting. But for now things are good!

My Person said she liked potenshul new friend Jahb, but she has to talk to some more people who know him. But the other people who know him that she already talked to said that things look good and we should hear about that by the end of this week.

ANYWAY, ON TO THE IMPORTANT STUFF, NAMELY ME.

If you are new to my blog you may not know this, but I am the original man cat and I invented Man Cat Monday. I thought it would be a good way for man cats around the innernets to be manly, and also to get pointers from me on how to be a big man cat. So if you are participating in Man Cat Monday today, leave me a comment and let me know so I can come check you out.

Here is me for Man Cat Monday:

Watching the cat TV. Note how I totally ignore my Person and the camera. That is because I am too busy watching the cat TV to pay any attention to her. This is very manly.

Exploring the 'partment. I always look around for foods or other cats or vishus things that could get me or my Person. This is obviously very manly.

Showing off my ear hair and my whisker humps. Both manly.

Happy man cat Monday, innernets! I hope your day is manly. Let me know if you are participating!

My bachelor weekend

2011-07-14T08:04:00.004-04:00

My Person is leaving today to meet her potenshul new friend Jahb, and she is taking Mac the mancat computer with her, so I won't be able to blog while she is gone (did she ask me if this was okay? No. No she did not). Sophie is going to the VETS while my Person is gone and Henry, the rabbit we live with, is at bunny camp, so I have the whole 'partment to myself. I can't decide what I will do. Maybe open a cigar bar or have some ladies over.

Decisions are exhausting.

Anyway, I wanted to let all of you know that my sister ate all of her foods while she was home AND she pooped! She did not each much breakfast yesterday, but my Person figured out a little later that it's because Sophie does NOT like cold foods. (I tried to explain that FOODS IS FOODS, KID, but she did not care.)

While she is at the VETS they will give her a lot of digestive tests, and just between you and me, innernets, I don't know how that's going to go, because I don't know how smart Sophie's digestives are. One of those tests is supposed to tell us if she has pancreeya-tytus, so we should know by the time my Person gets back! So if you could keep the purrs coming that would be great.

Let me know if anyone wants to come over while my Person is gone. I have two litterboxes all to myself and a big bed to sleep on and a whole WALL of cat TVs! Otherwise I will talk to you in a few days, innernets!

My sister is home!

2011-07-13T11:02:00.008-04:00

Honestly innernets, my sister coming home was not a very huge deal. We did not have a big EMOSHUNAL reunion. My Person brought her in in the carrier and opened the door, and Sophie came RUNNING out! She did some laps around the room because she was so excited to be home, and then she settled on the bed and gave herself a long bath which was good because you have to get that VETS stink off of you as soon as you can. And then she slept for awhile! And then we had dinner, and my sister ate all of her foods, and both of us made sure to eat really slowly to really freak out my Person. And then we went to bed. The whole thing was no big deal, but you could tell my Person was real happy and thought it was a real big deal.

Sophie on her pillow.

This morning, though, my sister did not eat hardly any foods for breakfast. So my Person is worried again. She called the VETS and the VETS said that she wasn't concerned yet, because my sister got fed a lot of foods yesterday and might still just be adjusting to being at home. My Person has some medicine that makes cats hungry, and the VETS said to give Sophie some of that tonight and see if she will eat then, so that is the plan. My sister is going back to the VETS tomorrow anyway when my Person goes to meet her maybe-new-friend Jahb in another city, so either way the VETS will probably figure out what is going on and hopefully fix it. PLEASE keep purring that my sister keeps eating on her own! And also pooping, she hasn't pooped since she's been here. At least I don't think so. I don't really follow her around to check her litterboxing, innernets. I have other stuff to do.

Also, I clearly have not taught my sister very well how to deal with the VETS, because her VETS report card said this on it:

"Sophie has been a great patient. This morning she was very animated - rubbing, rolling and generally being very engaging which is probably normal behavior for Sophie when she is feeling well."

SIGH. You are not supposed to spend time making friends with the VETS, what you are SUPPOSED to do is ATTACK FIRST, ASK QUESTIONS LATER. You should HEAR the noises I make at the VETS, innernets. A few months ago my Person took me in there because I was peeing on the rug (haHA!) and by the time I was done with them, the VETS knew not to mess with the big man cat. First I made this face:

Then they took me into another room to try to pull out some of my pees with a needle. And my Person said later that even through THREE SETS of closed doors, she could hear me yelling at them. Eventually the VETS told my Person they were going to have to sedate me in order to get the pees. HAHA! At that same visit my Person saw that in my file it said, "Be careful - this patient is AGGRESSIVE!!!" And my Person said that when she and Sophie left the VETS yesterday, the VETS said, "Your cats are so sweet!....Well, Sophie, anyway." VICTORY. My Person always tells them, "I'm sorry, I wish you could meet him at home! He is a nice cat!" I wish she would cut that out because I don't want those VETS coming over here, no way no how.

Keep the purrs coming, innernets! We do NOT want Sophie to have to have more expensive testing or an operayshun. We just want her to get well, NOW!

MY SISTER POOPED!

2011-07-12T12:52:00.004-04:00

Innernets, I never thought a post about Sophie pooping would ever be a good thing EVER, but my Person and I are VERY excited to tell you that last night at the VETS, my sister Sophie both ATE FOODS ON HER OWN and POOPED!!!!!

I also just want to tell you that I myself eat the foods on my own and poop every day, but you don't see anyone getting very excited about it. Whatever. I'm just meowin'.

The VETS said they are still not exactly sure what is wrong with my sister. About a month ago, she had a similar blowing chunks-and-not-eating episode, but it was just one night and my Person just figured that all cats blow chunks sometimes, no big deal. But the VETS thinks now that maybe Sophie has pankreea-tytus. Apparently all of us cats have this thing called a pankreeyus. My Person says that the pankreeyus has something to do with making sure that we have enough sugars in our blood. Probably this means that my pankreeyus does not work because I AM ALWAYS VERY HUNGRY and none of my fluids are tasting very sweet. I guess in cats the pankreeyus also has something to do with the way we process our FOODS and also how we poop, so it would make sense that Sophie's pankreeyus does not work because her poops are always very stinky. Anyways, my Person does not know a whole lot about pankreea-tytus, but from what we have found on the innernets it looks like Sophie would just have to eat better foods to manage it. The VETS need to do a special test to see if Sophie's pankreeyus is broked, and if it is then we figure things out from there. If it's not then we still don't know what's wrong with her and they may still need to do some sort of operayshun or more tests.

But we are not thinking too much about that because we are just VERY relieved that my sister is eating foods and pooping! She is going to come home tonight just to see how she does. My Person is already annoying me by being a nervous wreck about it, and I am a LITTLE bummed because I have gotten a LOT of extra foods while Sophie is gone. But it is also KINDA boring without her here so I'm mostly okay with her coming back.

My Person is also going out of town at the end of this week to go visit a possible new friend Jahb in a new town. This Jahb is better than her friend Jahb who lives here, because the new Jahb would have more time for my Person and would give her more moneys and also take care of her if she got sick. I hate when my Person goes out of town (I usually express my rage by blowing chunks a lot, all over the place, and maybe peeing on some things if I feel like it), but I am glad she is going to try to make a new friend Jahb. But she doesn't want to leave Sophie alone while she is gone, so Sophie will be staying at the VETS for two extra nights this week, and they will do the pankreeya-tytus test then.

BASICALLY INNERNETS, we still do not REALLY know what is going on with my sister's insides, but she seems to be doing a LOT better. My Person also wants me to tell you that because of your donayshuns, we are able to pay for ALL of Sophie's vet bills this week! We will let you know how it goes when she gets home and we will post some pictures too!! PLEASE keep purring and keeping your paws crossed that she does not need any sort of operayshun!! I am so glad that I have such great friends on the innernets, even if it makes my Person cry when you guys are nice to me, and then she follows me around and tries to make me cuddle with her, and that is fine sometimes, but I have THINGS to do other times, you know? Mostly I'm just like, chill out, Person, of course they are nice to me, they are my friends. There are just SO MANY THINGS she does not understand.

Can't even nap in peace.

Sophie update, part 2

2011-07-11T19:28:00.003-04:00

We just heard from the VETS and my sister Sophie has not vommed ALL DAY LONG!

The VETS said they have forcefed her three times and are going to feed her once more before they leave for the night. She said Sophie has not thrown ANYTHING up, which is good news because, innernets, when Sophie was home this weekend, she spent a LOT of time blowing chunks. I am a dude who enjoys blowing chunks, so you must know that if I think she was overdoing it, she definitely was. And I am a neat chunk-blower; it's all in one spot. Sophie is not used to blowing chunks so it was just EVERYWHERE. I will spare you any more details. So far, Sophie has kept foods down for 8.5 hours!!

The VETS said they are still not sure what is wrong with Sophie but that she seems to be moving in the right direction and now what we really want is for her to poop. I think maybe if they knew how stinky Sophie's poops were they would not want that so much, but that is just my opinion.

We are definitely still not out of the woods and Sophie is NOT back to normal. She will stay at the VETS another night getting more water in an IV, and they will feed her more tomorrow. My Person has decided not to go visit her because we do not want to get her excited and then have her be sad when my Person leaves again. I always really liked it when my Person visited me at the VETS when my heart first broked, but then I have a LOT OF RAGE when I am at the VETS so having my Person there was good because it made me remember that I do not really hate all persons, JUST VETS. But Sophie is very different than me and since she seems to be doing okay, we do not want to risk messing that up.

PLEASE keep purring for my sister! There is still a chance she could need surgery and we DON'T WANT THAT, so keep the purrs coming!!!!!

KISMET OUT. Also VETS if you are reading this, feel free to send any foods that my sister does not eat my way and I will take care of them for you. But don't come near me when you deliver the foods because I hate you.

Sophie update

2011-07-11T10:03:00.003-04:00

My sister Sophie spent all last night at the VETS getting water in an IV. I don't know what that means, but it sounds dumb because you can just drink water if you are thirsty. The VETS called my Person this morning and said Sophie did well overnight but is still not eating any foods (also dumb, give me the foods), so they are going to force-feed her and if she can't keep any food down still they are recommending something called a bare-e-um X-ray. I guess they feed Sophie some bare-e-um and then take a bunch of X-rays to see how it looks inside her insides, and that will tell them if there is something stuck in there. And if it shows that, they will probably recommend surgery.

My Person is driving me nuts, basically. She is panicky and stressed and a wreck, because all of this stuff is apparently going to cost around 2,000 moneys, which we just don't have. So she is not sure what to do.

Some persons have donated moneys and we want to say THANK YOU so much and that it helps, and that we appreciate it more than we can say. My Person also wants me to say that we are not posting about this so any of you will feel bad and give us moneys. The moneys are wonderful and they help us a lot, but I am just here blogging because that's what my blog is for, and my Person is hovering because she knows that all of you will understand how she is feeling.

I will keep you posted when we hear from the VETS again. (I hate the VETS.)

my sister Sophie

2011-07-10T15:10:00.002-04:00

I know I have been very bad at blogging, but I am blogging today to let everyone know that my sister Sophie is very sick. She has been in and out of the VETS for the past few days and it seems that she might have an intestinuhl blockage, which I guess means that she ate something she should not have eaten and it is stuck in her insides.

She is going back to the VETS today and my Person does not know what will happen. We are living in Whiskonsin right now, because my Person left her friend Jahb in Virjinya to move with us to Californyuh to live with this man person that we all liked, but we were not in Californyuh very long before that man person decided he didn't want us living there, so we had to come all the way back to Whiskonsin, where my Person is from. My Person has a new friend Jahb here, but she is only friends with him on a free-lanse basis so we do not have hardly any moneys. And in addishun to Sophie being sick and at the VETS a lot this week, I had to spend a night camping in the oxyjin tent this week on account of my broked heart. The VETS told my Person that Sophie will probably need a lot more X-rays and maybe an operayshun if there is something stuck in her insides, and we are just not sure what will happen.

My Person is very, very, very, very sad and feels like a failure because she does not have moneys to do whatever is necessary to help Sophie. So if you could purr for all of us, I would really appreciate it.

My sister bugs me sometimes a lot, but she is a very good cat.

Remember me?

2011-05-19T10:48:00.004-04:00

Hello innernets!

It's me, Kismet Man Cat. I would tell you more stuff about me in case you have forgotten me but let's be honest, who could forget me?! I mean have you seen my whisker humps??

Anyway, I have decided to come out of blogging retirement because I have been having many advenchurs and I think other cats and persons will really want to hear about them. It is going to take me a while to get everything changed here and to update my list of friends, on account of I am just a really busy dude, but if you have stuck around during my retirement please leave a comment to I can add you to my list and come visit you! I also want you to know that even during my hyaytiss, I still read all the blogs of my most best friends, like the Meezers and Skeezix, and Sophie reads Daisy the Curly Cat every single day because she REALLY loves her. So I have been AROUND, I just saved all my comments about my blogging friends for my Person. I saved them mostly for when she was sleeping, so I could wake her up and let her know what I was thinking and also that I was hungry so maybe she could give me some more foods? This never worked, but don't worry, innernets, I plan to keep trying anyway. See, there is just so much to blog about!

Stay tuned....

2011-05-14T13:22:00.006-04:00

update!

2010-03-11T18:17:00.004-05:00

SUP INNERNETS!!! I am sorry it has been so long since I have posted. I know some of you have been worried about me but DO NOT WORRY, innernets friends, I am doing fine! I am still ginormous and me and my man paws and my very large whisker humps are doing well!

I have been on my Enalapril and my Lasix for almost two months now and I am back to acting like my normal man cat self. I love my FOODS, and Sophie BUGS ME sometimes, and I like to sit on the side of the persons water box and mraw mraw mraw, and I knock things off the dresser at night and I hump my Person and I am VERY dignified. If you didn't know my heart was broked, you would think I am just a big dude going about his big dude life. Except for the parts of me that they undignifiedly shaved. Those are still growing back.

I am sorry that I have not been very good at updating and that I made some of you worried! I promise to try to be better because there are still many THINGS I feel the world should know about, like how Sophie is afraid of string cheese (HELLO IT IS CHEESE) and how I just ate some Cheez-Its today, and how there's a bunny that lives with us now and he is weird. Whatever.

My Person also asked me to beg your forgiveness because she is still working on thank-yous for everyone who donated us the dollaz. I don't really beg on account of I'm a big dude but she is sorry.

To prove to you that I am still me, here is a pikshur! I am not one to brag but I am still pretty handsome, even with a broked heart.

Also, innernets, I really want to thank you again for all the purrs you sent my way when I was not feeling so good and was spending lots of time camping in oxyjin tents. They made me feel better but they REALLY made my Person feel like she was not so alone. It is normally my job to do that, and you really stepped in when I couldn't do it for her. So thank you again. You guys are awesome, and not just cuz you respect the whisker humps, if you know what I mean.

The verdict

2010-02-03T14:52:00.002-05:00

I JUST got back from my check-up at the VETS. My Person came home in the middle of the day and I WAS excited, because I like my Person, on account of she gives me the foods, but she just came in and gave me and Sophie a treat (which, don't get me started, why does SOPHIE get a treat, did SHE have to go to the VETS, I DON'T THINK SO) and scooped me up and put me in the prison box. But I have to tell you, innernets, that even though I pretty much figured I was going to the VETS, because these days I am always going to the VETS, I didn't really mind the prison box so much, because I like riding in the car.

Don't worry, though, because as soon as we got to the VETS I started growling and mrawing and hissing and just generally letting everyone there know that yes, I am a big dude, and you shouldn't mess with me. They took me into the examinayshun room and my Person opened the prison box, and then all sorts of VETS people started coming in because they wanted to see me and how I was doing. I don't know how they knew me, though. I mean, I spent a lot of time at the VETS recently, but those people see a lot of cats, so I figure they must know me from my fame on the innernets and from my fame from just being a big dude. Anyway, they all said I was handsome and didn't try to touch me, so I didn't mind that too much, especially since they were all lady persons, which are my favorite kind, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, they weighed me, and I have gained back a whole pound, which made my Person happy because for awhile there I was not very interested in my foods (I KNOW, RIGHT?) and I lost about two pounds. Don't worry, though, innernets, even when I was down two pounds, I was still really big, and you can't lose weight in your whisker humps or your paws so it never really showed.

Then the VETS came in and he just blabbed and blabbed to my Person about this medicine and that medicine. I didn't really listen because I was very busy being on the floor and sniffing everything out. I did let that VETS pet me once though because he did kinda save my life that one time (okay, a few times). But I only let him pet me ONCE because I don't want him getting the wrong idea. And when he tried to listen to my heart and my lungs I made sure to growl REAL loud so he couldn't hear anything. HAHA!

Since I wasn't really LISTENING, I can't tell you everything he said, but I can tell you that he said I look great and seem to be doing great, and he is real excited that I gained some weight, and that since last week I have been on some heart medicines (something called Enalapril and something called Lasix, and I take them every morning, and let me tell you that I don't even MIND, because those medicines come inside a chicken envelope, and I like me some CHICKEN!) and they are really agreeing with me, unlike the medicine I tried that one time (Altenolol) that most definitely disagreed with me, because after I took it I had to spend more time in the oxyjin tent. I like camping as much as the next dude, but I didn't like that tent so much. I would much rather build a blanket fort and hang out with my Person.

Also, my Person is real bad at things, and wants everyone to know that she still has to get around to thanking everyone in the mail for helping us with my VETS bills. I tried to yowl at her and I humped her leg a little to remind her but she's a person, you know, and it was hard enough for me to train her to turn the faucet on when I'm thirsty and to give me my foods when I want it so I'm not sure how much else I can do. I think the point is that she will do it very very soon, and that she thinks about all of my friends every day, and then she gets all sappy and tries to hug me and sometimes I just have STUFF TO DO, PERSON, AND I CAN'T JUST BE HUGGING ALL DAY LONG.

Anyways, I hope that now my blog can just be about me and my man cat-ness and not so much with the VETS because the VETS is boring. I am the main attraction!

The story of my heartsounds

2010-01-24T17:38:00.006-05:00

Hello, innernets! I am sober now (it took awhile) and so I can tell you the full story of my ultrasound!

To begin with, the ultrasounds place is very far away from where we live in Virjinya. So we had to ride in the car for a LONG time. One of the persons my Person knows took us in her car and my Person let me sit on her lap the whole time instead of in my prison box. Before we left I inspected the car very thoroughly to make sure there were no foods or other cats or anything vishus hiding in it because you just never know. Unforchunitly, I did not find any foods, but I did walk around on the dashboard for awhile. And while we were driving, I made sure to stand up on my Person's lap and put my very big paws on the windowsill and look outside. I saw some cows (beef!) and I made eyes at lots of other persons in cars but let me tell you, innernets, persons driving in cars are not very ATTENTIVE because none of them seemed to notice me. I can only assume that the car we were in had one-way glass because I don't think there is much of a chance that you could drive by me looking out a window and not notice me, on account of my whisker humps are so big.

When we finally got to the ultrasounds place, my Person put my back in the prison box and we went inside. While my Person was filling out paperwork, some other persons came out with a big brown dog and sat next to my prison box and I growled and hissed at him. And my Person said, "Sorry. He just has a lot of rage." and then the lady person behind the counter made those other persons move the dog away from my prison box, probably because she knew that I could bust out of there and take that dog down if I wanted to. HAHA!

Then they called us back, and my Person carried my prison box into an examinayshun room. She let me out and I prowled around growling while she talked to various VETS persons. And then the actual VETS came in and he grabbed me by my neck and INJECTED ME WITH POISON. I know it was poison because right after he gave it to me I vommed on the floor. And then he waited awhile and I didn't get sleepy, on account of I AM BIG and also because it takes a lot to take down a man cat, so then he INJECTED ME WITH MORE POISON and then I passed out.

Look, I am not PROUD of the passing out, and I woke up with a bunch of my chest hairs gone and some nasty GOO all over me, but at least I know that while I was passed out my eyes didn't close and that really freaked out my Person. That will SHOW HER! YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE KIS-MAN, LADY!

They held me down on a table while they waited for me to wake up and the VETS explained everything about my heart to my Person. I have leaky valves and my heart wall is thick and one of my atriums is enlarged. This is all just fancy talk for my heart doesn't work as good as it should and it makes stuff back up into my lungs, which is why I have been having trouble breathing. They are going to start me on medicines soon, but my regular VETS wants to talk to a heart doctor first because they tried to put my on heart medicines last week and I had a bad reaction to one. I AM A MEDICAL MYSTERY, INNERNETS!

While we wait to hear about the medicines, my Person and I are just hanging out. Today we watched some DVDs and I made biskits on her for awhile, and she fed me some Temptations and some Friskies. Now that I am sober, I am acting as normal as I can because I know it makes my Person feel good.

looking manly. I have to be the little spoon, on account of my Person is bigger than me, but we both know I'm the big spoon in the relationship.

Thanks again for all of your help and purrs, innernets! I will let you know how my heart is doing when I get started on my medicines. I am not happy to have a broked heart, but I am a pretty big dude and I think I will manage with it just fine.

my heart

2010-01-22T21:42:00.003-05:00

Innernets, I am a little drunk from anesthesia still, so I will write my whole post of RAGE tomorrow, but I just wanted to stop by and let you all know that my heart is a little broked. I have hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, and three of my heart valves are leaking. I am okay right now, and I am going to start medicines soon, and the VETS people said I was very grumpy and I vommed in their room (HAHA), but my heart is a little broked. My Person and I are both tired, so I will give you the full story tomorrow after we sleep and I am SOBER!

Ultrasounds are ultra LAME

2010-01-19T17:45:00.006-05:00

O HAI INNERNETS.

As you can see, I am still very handsome. I just wanted to show you some recent pictures of me so you would all know that despite my ongoing medical issues, my whisker humps have not gotten smaller and I am still pretty goodlookin'. (Feel free to click on those and make them bigger, laydeez.)

I go for my ultrasound on Friday, to the VETS. Apparently this is a NEW VETS, because my Person had to call them today to make sure they knew that my other VETS doesn't want me sedaytid for the ultrasound. The person on the phone said, "Well, it depends on the cat, I mean, we might not have to sedate him." And my Person goes, "No, Kismet will hate you. You would normally want to sedate him." And the lady person tried to argue and my Person just said, "No. He will HATE YOU." so then they had to arrange for the VETS to call her back because apparently I am just that big and vishus. HAHA! BETTER GET YOUR HAWK GLOVES READY, NEW VETS!

But this whole ultrasound thing is stupid if you ask me, because I am breathing pretty okay now and I am also much less sneezy (though it was kind of fun to be sneezy cuz a) it rhymes with Skeezy, who's one of my best buds in the innernets and b) sometimes I got snots all over my Person, and that was funny) and I am also eating my Friskies so I don't think more persons need to be listening in on my heartbeats because I AM FINE. But it does mean a long ride in the car, and my Person said one of her other person friends is driving us so I get to sit on my Person's lap and explore and watch out the windows. Which is good, because between you and me, innernets, my Person is so bad at exploring just around the 'partment that I can't imagine what she's like in the car, so it's a good thing I will be there to stand guard. There are lots of vishus stuff out there, Person!

Anyway, I will let you know when we find anything out, which we won't, cuz I'm pretty sure I'm fine, on account of my man paws are still big and so are my whisker humps, and that is pretty much how I decide how I am doing, if you know what I mean.

I AM BACK

2010-01-12T17:05:00.004-05:00

Sup innernets. This is KISMET MAN CAT, TAKING BACK MY BLOG. Look, I know that I have been feeling sick, but that is NO EXCUSE for my Person to take over MY BLOG. So now that I am home from my second night in the oxyjin tent, I thought I would come update you MYSELF, on account of this is MY BLOG, PERSON.

Basically, the VETS don't know what is wrong with me. They say my heart has a murmur which I think means when they put on their heart-listen-y thing it talks to them, but I don't understand why this is a bad thing, because if they don't WANT it to murmur at them then WHY are they putting on their heart-listen-y thing to listen to it? PERSONS, THEY MAKE NO SENSE.

Anyhoo, so I spent last night in the oxyjin tent and then today at the VETS the VETS were all confyoozed. "He is fine," they said to my Person. "His breething is good, his heart rate is good, and he is eating." (It's true, I did eat the foods at the VETS. I am not proud of this because normally I go on a HUNGER STRIKE at the VETS, but it was free FOODS and I was kind of wanting the FOODS.) When my Person came to pick me up I yowled at her a LOT, and the VETS said they wanted to take a X-ray and could my Person help hold me, because they tried to do it themselves and I wouldn't let them (HAHA!), and so my Person carried me into the X-ray room but I MRAWED and MRAWED and then I ESCAPED from the X-ray room and ran around outside in the other VETS room, and finally they said, just take him home. HAHA!

I am a little sneezy currently, but I am on my noomoanya medicines, and apparently I am having some sort of ultrasound soon (I think that is where they turn up the volume on my heart murmur so it makes a ULTRA noise so they can ULTRA hear it). All I know is that I am home and I am cleaning my whisker humps LOTS so that I don't smell like VETS, and that the VETS better not mess with the man cat, because even when I do not FEEL well, I will not let them do things like X-rays. HAHA!

I also want to thank all my friends on the innernets for sticking by me and my blog even though my Person took it over for awhile. I really appreciate your well wishes and I promise not to sneeze on you or in your general direction.

Kismet Update

2010-01-11T20:28:00.002-05:00

Hi everybody - Kismet is back at the vet in the oxygen tent tonight. I made him an appointment for the heart ultrasound but I couldn't get him in until the 22nd. I called my vet, who said he'd like to try to start Kismet on a small dosage of heart medicine in the meantime. I gave him one of the pills when I got home today and two hours later he was crashing again. Not as bad as last time - in that he is alert and lucid - but he was panting and couldn't breathe (and was drooling. Lots of drool). I called my vet, and he opened up the clinic for us, gave Kismet a diuretic shot and put him back on oxygen.

I am less panicky this time because it was a little more expected, and also because although he couldn't breathe, Kismet was more alert. I asked my vet if I need to consider putting him down because I can't keep doing this to him, I can't keep watching him suffer, and my vet said we should wait and see how he is in the morning. He also said that it's not uncommon for people with heart conditions to be hospitalized a few times before they get their meds right, so we shouldn't jump to conclusions with Kismet. He also said that if we need to give him a daily dosage of the diuretic until he's stabilized, we can.

The night vet tech will be checking on him at 10 and they'll call me if there's a problem. Otherwise, I'm supposed to call tomorrow. Please keep purring and praying for Kismet. I am calmer, but I am also terrified that my phone is going to ring at 10 pm.

Also - thank you so, so much for all of your donations. Almost half of Kismet's bills will be paid off because of your generosity. People who donated will be receiving better thank-yous in the mail, but in the meantime I wanted you all to know that it hasn't gone unnoticed. And neither has the support you've shown me and Kismet.

Please keep thinking of him tonight.

Man Cat Miracles

2010-01-07T14:50:00.001-05:00

Hi everyone - this is Kismet's Person, taking over his blog to give you a Kismet update, which will probably anger him, which should tell you that so far, he is doing much better. :)

If you haven't been following the Kismet Situation, here are links to the posts that Skeezix made after I emailed him:
One: http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2010/01/emerjensy-purrrayer-reqwest.html
Two: http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2010/01/kismet-update.html

The background is basically this: I took Kismet to the vet on Monday because I noticed on Sunday that he was breathing a little quickly. Nothing labored or congested, just a little faster than normal. My vet took X-rays and found abnormalities on his lungs that she thought was asthma. She gave him a shot of antibiotics and a shot of steroids and sent him home.
Within a half hour of him being home, he started to crash. Severely. I don't want to go into detail about what it was like, because I don't want to think about it. It was awful, and terrifying, and painful, and when I put him in his carrier to take him to the emergency vet a half hour away, I wasn't very convinced he would make it through the drive. They put him in an oxygen tent, told me they thought he was having congestive heart failure and was close to dying, that I had to leave him overnight, and to come get him at 7 am. I called them at 6 before I left my house to see how he was doing and all the tech told me was that he was still on oxygen and still having trouble breathing, so I assumed I was going there to put him down.

But then I got there, and the ER vet came in and said, "Well, he's doing better."

I hate the emergency vet's office, by the way. It is scary and they are not very compassionate. They discharged him with the X-rays they took and we took him back to my regular vet, who's been treating him ever since. (This is a basic recap of what Skeezix posted. I would have come here to blog about it myself then but I was not in any condition to do so.)

My vet wasn't sure what was wrong with him. They thought it was a combination of pneumonia/asthma and possibly a heart condition; most likely hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. I asked if they could try to treat the pneumonia first, and they agreed. They started him on the pneumonia medication that day and he started to improve pretty quickly. I went to visit him Tuesday afternoon to try to get him to eat, and I couldn't, but he was alert, up, walking around, and VERY growly. Which again, for Kismet, is a good sign; his rage toward all things veterinarian is well-documented and meant, to me, that he was feeling more like himself.

I left him there overnight and called yesterday morning to check on him. My vet said he was about the same, maybe a little better, and that they thought it would be a good idea for me to take him home for the night because he still wasn't eating. My vet and I both thought that the not-eating was probably more a product of being at the vet and being stressed out than of his illness (he was eating totally normally up through Monday morning, which is the day this all started). So I went to pick him up. When I got there the vet was busy so the techs told me to go back and see if I could get him to eat. When I got to his cage, Kismet was alert, VERY happy to see me, meowing, and he ate for me almost instantly! Not a lot, not like he normally would, but both some dry and wet food, which is GREAT!

I took him home, and he drank a bunch of water, ate some more dry food, fought with Sophie, tried to eat some flowers I had in a vase, and then spooned with me on the couch. I got him to eat a few bites of wet food, fed him a bunch of Temptations, and he slept with me and Sophie all night in my bed. This morning he ate a few more bites of wet food, I fed him cheese and Temptations and gave him his pneumonia meds, and now he's back at the vet for the day (mostly for my own peace of mind - if he was at home, I would be panicking every five seconds that he's crashing again). I'll pick him up and take him home again tonight.

We're not out of the woods yet, but my vet said his breathing is MUCH better and that he's eating at all is a positive sign. He doesn't seem 100 percent himself - he's a little wary, and obviously normal-Kismet would be eating all the food in sight - but he's getting there. I hope.

We're not sure why he crashed so badly on Monday night. Kismet hates the vet, so whenever we go there and he needs an exam, they usually sedate him. Normally he's okay with it (well, minus the rage, you know), but my sense is that the fluid in his lungs plus the antibiotics plus the sedation was too much for him to handle. My vet, for the record, feels terrible about this; mostly that I had to go to the ER vet and spend so much money there and go through all the stress. I don't blame them, really - I've learned a lot over the past few days, namely that pneumonia/asthma/heart conditions bleed together and are very difficult to diagnose - and I know that cats presenting symptoms can sometimes tank quickly. They feel badly, and he seems to be doing better, and they're not sedating him for anything anymore. They've been pretty great, actually.

I'm still going to get him the heart ultrasound to determine if he has a heart condition or if this really was just pneumonia that knocked him on his butt. But I'm hopeful, and that's a lot better than where we were at the beginning of the week.

I want you all to know how very much your purrs and prayers mean to me. I live in a small town and I have felt pretty alone going through all of this, but receiving your comments and encouragements has helped immeasurably. Skeezix's Food Lady told me that some of you were interested in donating to help pay for Kismet's bills. If this is something you are in a position to do and would like to, I've installed a paypal button on the side of the blog. Please know that I don't expect this at all, and that you've even offered touches me more than I can say. My man cat is so special to me and I love knowing that his silly and ridiculous and wonderful man cat life has touched so many people. If you are interested in donating and have questions or would like to see documentation of the vet bills, please let me know. And if you do donate, please leave a comment or email us your information so I can send you a thank-you note from the man cat.

Thank you all so, so much for your support and concern. If Kismet pulls through this, I think it might be enough to get him out of internet retirement for good!

xo,
Kismet's Person

I AM FAYMISS! I AM A SILEBRITEE!!!!!

2009-01-03T12:44:00.004-05:00

HI!!! I ARE SOPHIE!!! I are VARY ACITED today acuz I am on STUFFONMYCAT!!!

Yoo can klik HEER to see me, OR JUST LOOK HEER:

There was WUN time that my bruther bloggged abowt how I was NOT faymiss (the entry is at the bottom of the payj HEER), BUT NOW I IS!!!!!

I am VARY acited!! Don't worry, I will still be yore frend even though I am a silebritee now!!!!!

My bruther wunts to type something TOO:

Sup innernets. LOOK, I have submitted MY OWN HANDSOME MAN CAT PHOTOS to stuffonmycat, and they never get POSTED, so I GUESS MAYBE THEY ARE JUST NOT INTO HANDSOME MAN CATS OVER THERE, and would rather feechur ORNJ CATS WHO ARE STINKY SOMETIMES.

WHATEVER.

I don't really care, because my whisker humps will ALWAYS be bigger than Sophie's. I know you know what I'm sayin'.

HI! I ARE SOPHIE! I ALSO WUNTED TO SAY that there are some VARY nyce persuns leeving comments on my stuffonmycat pikchur!!! THANK YOO PERSUNS!!!! I AM GLAD YOO LIKE MY PARTY DRESS TOO!!!!!

MY SCAYREE ADVENCHUR

2008-12-15T11:32:00.002-05:00

HI!!! It's ME, SOPHIE! I know my bruther has not BLOGGED in FOREVER, but I think he will soon. BUT I, SOPHIE, had a VARY SCAYREE ADVENCHUR, and wunted to blog abowt it, so he said I COULD! I LOVE MY BRUTHER!

One day not vary long ago, the nyce laydee kaym home after visiting Mr. Jahb. She had MANY BAGS in her hands when she was coming in the door. SOME OF THEM HAD FOODS IN THEM!!! I LOVE FOODS!!!

Whenever the nyce laydee comes in the door my bruther tries to run owtsyd. He has gotted owt a FEW times, but he never gets vary far before the nyce LAYDEE catches him. So when she was coming in this time with all the BAGS of FOODS, she yoozed her feets to push him back. And while she was doing that, I, SOPHIE, RUNNED OWT!!!!

I am not shur why. I lived owtsyd before so I know what it is LYK owt there, and I used to be VARY ascayred of going owt EVER, but heer in VirJINya I am VARY afassinayted by the owtsyd. And since my bruther always wunts to go owt, and I wunt to do WHATEVER my bruther does, I thawt maybe I would TRY IT!

WELL, the nyce laydee didn't SEE that I had gotted owt! So she just shut the door and went upstairs to do something on the compyooter that I am Not Allowed to touch (acuz I kinda broked it, but that is not the story I am telling right now). AND I, SOPHIE, WAS ALONE OWTSYD!

To tell yoo the trooth I was VARY afyoozed abowt how I had gotted owt there in the first place and why. So I just stood owt there staring at the door and meowing REAL LOWD and APITIFULLY. And the nyce laydee was gone FOREVER, but she said later that when she was upstairs on the compyooter she could HEER me meowing, and she thought, "Oh no, a stray cat must be owtsyd! It is cold owt, I will go see if it is ok."

So she FINALLY came back down and who did she see owtsyd but ME!!! SOPHIE!!!! She was VARY aprized and opened the door and I RAN RIGHT IN and went under the kowch and would not come owt for a long time, like maybe ten whole MINUTES. My paws were VARY cold and the whole thing really made me remember what it is LIKE to live owtsyd and I don't think I will try to go owt again. Unless my bruther does too, acuz if HE is doing it, it is probly VARY afassinayting!

Whisker Hump Wednesday

2008-07-02T12:42:00.006-04:00

One of the most important things about being a really big man cat is making sure your whisker humps are big. I have GINORMOUS whisker humps! I also have very big man paws. In these pikchurs, which are called Polaroyds (I think because they come from the North Pole, because they have white edges, like snow), you can see both my whisker humps and my man paws.

For comparison, please notice that although Sophie's tail is very floofy, she does not have man paws or big whisker humps. This really proves that only man cats have this stuff.

I hope you have enjoyed this informative post. Please feel free to contact me with any man cat-related questions.

PSSST

2008-05-08T17:24:00.004-04:00

Pssssst....innernets!!

REMEMBER ME????

I am going to do a Thursday 13 to explain why I have not been blogging FOREVER.

1. Mac, the mancat compyooter, went dead for awhile. He seems to be ok now. But he was dead!
2. My Person had to go see Mr. Nooz Byurow every day for a long time and she would turn Mac, the mancat compyooter, off when she left. But I think she had a fight with Mr. Nooz Byurow, because she is not going to see him anymore!
3. Mr. Nooz Byurow + Brad Skool = GRUMPY PERSON
4. I have spent LOTS of time trying to figure out ways to get out of the partment to Out There. So far this has not really worked. My ideas have inkloodid: digging through the cat TV, scratching at the door with my big man paws, running out the door whenever it is opened which gets me in Big Trouble, making very sad mraw mraw noises at the door. Since none of these have really WORKED, I am spending lots of time trying NEW things, which are also not working. Getting Out There is very hard.
5. We went to the VETS, and if you have been reading my blog for awhile, you know that this makes me VERY GROUCHY AND I MRAW MRAW AND HISS AND SOMETIMES BAT AT MY PERSON'S FACE AND EYEBALLS, WHICH IS NOT VERY NICE BUT WHAT DID YOU EXPECT TO HAPPEN, PERSON, AND EVEN THOUGH THIS VETS WAS DIFFERENT THAN THE ONE IN BROOKLYN THEY STILL BROUGHT OUT THE HAWK GLOVES FOR ME. THAT'S RIGHT, VETS!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!! Also Sophie gets very scared when we go to the VETS and it makes her go poop in the carrier THAT I HAVE TO SHARE WITH HER. AND IT SMELLS. AND STICKS TO ME. This made me grouchy enough that I did not want to talk to anyone. Not even you, innernets. I am sorry.
6. It is starting to get HOTS. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
7. In Brooklyn, one of my favorite places to sleep was on the people TV on top of the cable box. In Merruhlind, we don't HAVE a big cable box. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
8. We are on some sort of weird foods schedule. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
9. Sophie STILL wants to play ALL THE TIME. THIS ALSO MAKES ME GROUCHY. I AM TRYING TO CLEAN MY TOES SOMETIMES.
10. I think those are maybe all of the things that made me grouchy lately. I have also been busy threatening the many wild cats that come onto our cat TV. There is a orange cat that my Person calls Sammy. He is ALMOST BIGGER THAN ME, and he comes on the cat TV every night, and I sit and mraw mraw at him. There is another orange cat too. This cat never had a ballsectomy, so my Person just calls him ballscat. Ballscat is not bigger than me, but he does have balls. So I mraw mraw EXTRA at him.
11. None of the cats on the cat TV are lady cats. This ALSO makes me grouchy.
12. Sophie has been having hairballs all over the place. My Person gives her hairball stuff to make this better. The hairball stuff smells like toona, so I get excited when it comes out and I try to eat it, but it just sticks to my whiskers and then I have to clean it and that ALSO MAKES ME GROUCHY.
13. What can I say, innernets? I'm a busy dude.

But, now that Brad Skool is almost done (I guess that means he is going to go dead), I will have more time to blog. This makes me NOT grouchy! So if any of my friends from the innernets are still checking up on me, I should be around more often.

Here is a bonus picture of my furchin for my lady friends:

I'm sure Sophie will be around too. (SIGH)

Seven Strange Things on Sunday

2008-01-20T16:28:00.000-05:00

My really great friends Rosie and Cheeto tagged me and Sophie to do the "seven weird things about me" survey. I was GOING to split it, like they did, but instead Sophie and I are each going to list our OWN 7 things, because after all, it is MY blog and so I think I should get 7 all by myself.

OKAY. KISMET:
1. I like to make blanket forts. There is a VERY specific process to this, though. First, my Person has to be laying under the blankets. Then, there has to be a little cave opening in the blanket NATURALLY - NOT one made by my Person. Then, I walk in, and dig with my big man paws, and make sure the blanket fort is strukchurally sound, and if all of that meets with my approval, ONLY THEN will I lay down. You can't just hang out in any blanket, you know.

2. When I get very hungry and grouchy, I push the water dish with my nose so it spills over the sides and the dish makes a great clanky sound on the floor. My Person does not like this.

3. When my Person comes home at night I sit by the door and mraw mraw mraw REAL loud and scratch with my big man paws so she knows I am still inside and that I am waiting for my foods. I think she forgets this stuff sometimes, so I am just trying to remind her.

4. I knock stuff off of EVERYTHING - tables, desks, bookshelves, dressers, chairs, the persons teevee. Your stuff is not safe ANYWHERE, Person! HAHA! It is for your own safety that I do it. Your stuff could be vishus without you knowing!

5. I have to hump sometimes. I only hump my Person, and only her arm or shoulder, and only when she is under a blanket. After I am done humping, I always take a bath and I don't look at my Person right away because I am a little embarrassed.

6. I usually get locked out of my Person's room in the morning because I get HUNGRY and I want my FOODS and so I make noise. And then later on, when my Person doesn't get up right away, I get worried that maybe she is not in there anymore, and has left without giving me my FOODS, or that something vishus that I didn't notice got her, and then I might NEVER get my FOODS, so I scratch at the door with my man paws and I mraw mraw a LOT. Eventually my Person will say "Kis-MET!" and then, because I know she is in there and alive, I stop.

7. I have a LOT of dreems, and when I am dreeming, my big whisker humps twitch and so do my man paws and my back legs, and sometimes I mraw mraw or lick my lips in my sleep. My Person says "Get him Kizzy!" to me while I sleep, just in case I am dreaming of chasing some other big man cats. This shows that she understands that I am a big dude and I could chase down any other big dude, if I wanted to. I think that is nice of her!

HI! I ARE SOPHIE! I ARE VARY ACITED to tell yoo some WEERD things about ME!!!!

1. I LOVE TO EAT FOODS! ANY kind of foods, I will eat them all!! The nyce laydee says I must have been a dawg in a past lyfe. CAN YOO IMAGINE ME, SOPHIE, AS A DAWG??? Some of the foods I lyke to eat are: peetsuh, ryce kayks, cookees, peenut butter, any kind of CHEEZ, ryce, potaytohs, and krakers. I LOVE FOODS!!!

2. Since I moved in with the nyce laydee and my bruther Kismet, I have learned to be a VARY kleen kitty and to kleen my furs and my TOES and my TAYL many times thru owt the day. (I was vary stinky beefor my bruther tawt me to be kleen!) And when I kleen myself, I suck on my furs and I make snorty sownds. The nyce laydee calls it my snorgling. It can be VARY lowd!!

3. When I yawn, I make a hacking sownd that sometimes ascayres the nyce laydee!!

4. One of my whiskers on top of my head is black. Just one!!!!

5. I have 2 black polka dots on one of my eers!!! The nyce laydee sayz they are my fashun axsessorees!!! This meens I am VARY fashunable, even when I am NOOD!!!!

6. I LOVE MY BRUTHER AND THE NYCE LAYDEE A LOT, but I love my bruther MOST of all. I go EVARYWHERE he goes. If we are in a room with the nyce laydee and my bruther leaves, I go with! If we are in bed with the nyce laydee and my bruther leaves, I GO WITH! If my bruther is watching the cat teevee, or poopsing, or knocking things off the dresser, I GO WITH!

My bruther does not always LYKE that, but I CAN'T HELP IT! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!! Plus he is VARY fassinayting.

7. Whenever anyone reeches down to pet me - becuz I are VARY small, yoo know - I stand up on my tippy toes and DIVE into their hand!! I get VARY good pets this way.

I, Kismet, also wanted to say in response to questions on my last post: Sophie NEVER cleans my Spot 13. That is man cat only territory. However, I have cleaned hers before, because it is STINKY AND NEEDS TO BE CLEANED.

I hope you liked our strange things!

Man Cat Monday

2008-01-14T11:24:00.001-05:00

Sup innernets. I wanted to post a HAPPY NEW YEAR blog and a KRISMISS blog but my Person LEFT US ALONE FOREVER AND EVER. It was not SO bad because some lady came and gave us the foods and cleaned our poops (cleaned them much better than my Person does, too), but I get VERY GRUMPY when my Person leaves me alone with Sophie for a LONG TIME.

Anyway, since I haven't been able to blog FOREVER, I didn't even get to tell you what my new year's rezolooshins are. I did not make too many because I think I am pretty good at being my man cat self, but I did make two. The first one is to blog more. This is not really under my control because my Person controls Mack, the man cat computer, but I am going to try anyway. And my second rezolooshin is to be an even better man cat than I have been.

Which explains this picture:

Normally I do not like to be this close to Sophie, but while my Person was gone we had a LOT of time together, and while she is still VERY ANNOYING most of the time - like I don't want to play all the time, I have THINGS to do, like clean my toes and do my patrols and knock things off the dresser - it is nice of her to give me a bath. And I think a good man cat - one who might be tired from doing all his man cat stuff, for example - would just take the bath and try to enjoy it. So I did!

I hope all of my blogging friends had good new yearses and Krissmisses. I am also going to try to comment on other blogs more TOO. The year of Kismet!

BUSY!

2007-12-11T23:47:00.000-05:00

I have been VERY busy helping my Person with Brad Skool.

That is us working on some Brad Skool stuff.

I don't like Brad Skool. He takes ALL my Person's time and makes her sleepy and growchy. I peed on some magazeens to express my MAD, but my Person didn't even notice because she is so busy with Brad Skool.

BRAD SKOOL IS STOOPID.

MY ONE YEER!!!!

2007-12-01T11:54:00.000-05:00

HI!!!! I are Sophie!!! I are VARY acited today because TODAY, I have been living with my bruther Kismet and the nyce laydee for ONE YEER!!!! I think that meens that I git to stay here forEVER and that I never have to go back owtsyd on Rohd Aylind!!!!!! And this mayks me VARY happy because I LOVE MY BRUTHER AND THE NYCE LAYDEE!!!!

I think that I have changed a LOT since I came to live with my bruther and the nyce laydee. I have lerned some VARY aportant things, like how to kleen myself, and that it is aportant to keep my booty hairs trimmed so that my poops don't get stuck to them, because then maybe the nyce laydee would not want to PET my booty, and I LOVE to have my booty petted!!! I have also diskuvvered some VARY DELISHUS FOODS!!!! like peetsuh krust and ranch dressing and cheez and pasketti sauce!!! But most aportantly, I have learned that it is VARY good not to live owtsyd!!!!

I thought it would be aciting to look at pikchurs and see how much I have changed now that I am a INDOOR CAT!!!

The nyce laydee says this pikchur is my first foto op. As yoo can see, I were VARY small. I look sad because it was cold and there was no FOODS!!!!

Here is another pikchur of me in Rohd Aylind. I am under a big masheen. This is the pikchur that made the nyce laydee think I should come live here!!

And here I are now!!!!!!!!

I am much kleener and I have also gayned ONE WHOLE POWND! And I have vary stinky poops.

I am vary glad to be a indoor cat. Thank yoo evarywun for being my frends!!!!!

I know that my bruther has not blogged in a vary long time, and I hope no one is mad that I am blogging before him. He will blog soon!!!!!

Man Cat Monday

2007-10-01T17:45:00.000-04:00

WELL INNERNETS. WE MEET AGAIN.

The innernets and I have not been getting along lately. The innernets, in fact, has not even BEEN IN MY PARTMENT for MANY WEEKS NOW. My Person was only able to find the innernets Out There, and since my Person DOES NOT REALLY LET ME GO OUT THERE, I could not use the innernets. This has made me very grouchy. I would have mraw'd to fix the rowter, but there was not even a rowter to fix until today, and then some other guy came into my partment and fixed it before my Person even gave me a chance. IN FACT, she locked me in the bedroom while he was here! She probably did not want him to be jealous about my innernets-fixing-skills. I guess I can understand that.

Anyway, but I have innernets now, innernets! SO NOW I GET TO FINALLY POST!

So I am posting a Man Cat Monday post. It has been a VERY LONG TIME since I have been able to do this so I hope that I remember how!

This is me weighing in on the scale in the person litterbox room. I do this every single day. I know that this might not SEEM very manly, but it is very important to keep an eye on your fizeek. You do not want to start losing weight, because that will make you smaller and so not so much of a BIG MAN CAT. But you also do not want to get fat! It is a delicate balance, being a man cat. I find that my sea lion yoga really helps me keep my bulk in check!

If your persons have a scale, I recommend weighing in!

Now that I have gotten the innernets into shape, I hope to post more often. Also, my fifth birthday is coming SOON! It is on Wednesday! That will also be two years that I have been with my Person. I hope she is getting me something good. And manly.

How persons get to my blog - Thursday Thirteen

2007-09-13T12:54:00.000-04:00

Sup innernets. I have not done a Thursday Thirteen post in a LONG time, so I thought I would do one today. I found some time in my very busy schedule, which includes things like pushing the empty foods dishes around the kitchen floor and peeing on my Person's magazeens.

Here are thirteen search frayziz that persons use to get to my blog. Some of them make perfect sense and some of them are VERY weird, which just proves that persons do not always know what is going on, espeshully on the innernets. Maybe they need me to come fix their rowters?

1. mancat

Well, this makes sense. I am a big man cat! I hope that persons who come to my blog looking for man cats find exactly what they are looking for. I hope that they are not confyoozed by the Sophie posts, because Sophie is NOT a big man cat.

2. meen big cats

I am kind of confyoozed by this one, because even though I am a very big cat, I am not meen! I am very grouchy a lot, but I have very good reasons to be grouchy. Like a tiny orange cat who bites my tail and follows me around, or a Person who does not want to give me my foods EXACTLY WHEN I WANT THEM AND THEN SOMETIMES SHE LOCKS ME OUT OF THE ROOM. But not meen!

3. do cats sniff other cats bottoms

Well. Yes. We do. Sometimes. I hope you found my blog useful, person who searched for this! I also hope that you do not have to sniff Sophie's bottom, because it is usually stinky and sometimes has poops on it.

4. cheez its popcorn

These are some of my most favorite foods! Cheez Its MUCH more than popcorn, but I will try the popcorn sometimes. The best way to eat Cheez Its, I have found, is to take the whole cracker into your mouth and crunch it into small pieces, and then spit the pieces back out and eat them one by one. Not only does this keep you from chewing with your mouth full - which is very undignified - but it makes the Cheez It last longer too. Persons tend to just eat MANY CHEEZ ITS AT ONE TIME, THE WHOLE CRACKERS, which is very gross. So I hope whoever searched for this learned how to do it the right way!

5. i love ruffles

I DO NOT LOVE RUFFLES. SOPHIE LOVES RUFFLES. MAYBE SOPHIE SHOULD GET HER OWN BLOG SO PERSONS DO NOT THINK THAT MAN CATS LOVE RUFFLES.

6. very pretty big cats

Hmm. I am not sure what to make of this one. I am HANDSOME, not pretty. But I am big. I guess maybe some girl persons might think I am pretty if they did not know I was a man cat. I think that this is probably okay.

7. cat is very stinky

Yes. Sophie is very stinky. I hope that if you use this to find my blog, you understand that I FEEL YOUR PAIN.

8. chiwahwahs

As you might know if you have been reading my blog for awhile, before I came to live with my Person, I roamed the streets with a gang of chiwahwahs. I was their leader, because chiwahwahs are VERY small and they needed a big man to defend them. I wonder if some of my old chiwahwah friends were looking for me! If so, hi guys! I am good and still big.

9. lyrics a big man like you gosh dem

...I am not sure what this means, innernets. I am a big man. I can rap. But I do not think I have ever posted my rap lyrics here. Maybe this person was looking for inspirayshun for a rap song about a big man. Make sure to send it to me when you are done!

10. my cat is a real man

I am a real man TOO! Maybe your cat and I should get to know each other. I am always looking for new man cats to be friends with!

11. cat what makes the scared

Hmm. This is a very good question. I do not really get scared, ever. Sophie gets scared a LOT. Things that scare Sophie: the door opening, when I go Out There, when persons pick her up, loud noises, when my Person cleans the poop boxes, persons she doesn't know...these are just a few. There are MANY things that can scare Sophie cats. I hope this answers your question.

12. wet hots

Sometimes I do get wet, because I like to drink water from the fawsit, and when I stick my head under there my whisker humps and my face get wet. And I HATE THE HOTS. THE HOTS MAKE ME VERY GROUCHY. And sometimes the hots can be wet too! My blog was probably exactly what this person was looking for.

13. dogs pikchurs

THIS IS A CAT BLOG. THE ONLY PICTURE OF A DOG THAT IS HERE IS THAT DOG THAT STAYED IN MY PARTMENT WITHOUT ASKING MY PERMISSION FIRST. HE WAS VERY HAPPY. BECAUSE HE THOUGHT THAT I WAS HIS TOY. YOU ARE IN THE WRONG PLACE!!!!!

I hope you have enjoyed my Thursday Thirteen post. And that, if you have found my blog by searching the innernets, you found what you were looking for. Feel free to email me if you need more help!

Fashun Show Friday!!!

2007-09-07T14:49:00.000-04:00

HI!!! I ARE SOPHIE!!!! I are here to do a FASHUN SHOW FRIDAY post!!! I have been meening to post pikchurs of me in my byootiful sun dress for a VARY long tyme, but the nyce laydee has not been aybul to help me until now. I can blog all by myself but I need her to do the pikchurs. She is VARY bizzy, so I am glad she is helping me now!!!!

The nyce laydee bought me my sun dress to ware during the summer. It is vary light and summery!!!!

Here I are relacksing in my dress. As yoo can see it makes my VARY happy to ware it!!!!!

I lyke my sun dress becuz it matches my socks, and I think it looks vary nyce with my ornj furs!!!

Here I are from the side:

The straps are vary dayntee which is nyce becuz I are VARY small!!!!!

When I am waring my sun dress, I lyke to sit in the sun!!!!

Also, today is the birfday of the scayree laydee who loves me a LOT who yoost to live with us. She is vary scayree becuz she gets VARY acited when she sees me, and she lykes to touch my feets. But she is also VARY nyce, so I wunted to say happy birfday!!!! And here is a pikchur of me and one of my feets. But pleez do not try to touch it!!!!!

I hope yoo all lyke my sun dress and the pikchur of me and my feets!!!!! My sun dress makes me feel VARY pretty.

Thank yoo Kismet for letting me blog!!!!!!!

My Big Advenchur

2007-08-28T14:39:00.000-04:00

Innernets, I have not been able to blog lately, because my Person is so busy using the compyooter to do things for Brad Skool, and then when she was done with Brad Skool for 4 days I thought I would FINALLY get the compyooter back, but then she crashed her moovable masheen and had to use the compyooter to figure out how to get the moovable masheen to be not sick anymore, and she was REAL upset so I had to be on man cat alert, and then I was all set to blog YESTERDAY, when I GOT LOCKED OUT OF THE PARTMENT.

We live close to the ground now - in Brooklyn we lived high up - so now when persons open the door sometimes I run Out There. I do not ever go very far. I just like to eats the grass and explore in the backyard. And my Person sometimes just follows me around to make sure that I do not leave to pick up the laydees or find my chiwahwah gang, and it is fine. But YESTERDAY, my Person was taking the moovable masheen to the doctor, and when the door opened, it was a big smelly man.

Now, since I am a big dude living with all GIRLS, normally I am very excited to have other mans around. Like my friend Ted who took me outside on my leash, or that person who used to live with my Person's boyfrend Joe, who told me many times that he thought I was a bobcat. But THIS guy was not even interested in me at all, and when he opened the door and I ran outside, he just LET ME GO.

At first I thought this was so great. Because I got to get away from Sophie for awhile, and eat lots of grass and explore and make sure that there was nothing vishus Out There waiting to eat my foods or attack my Person. And also to see if there are other foods hiding Out There, or maybe other cats, because there could be. You never know.

But eventually, I started to get kind of HOTS. I don't know if you remember, innernets, but I DO NOT SO MUCH LIKE THE HOTS, and I am a big guy, and I am kind of hairy, and I was outside for MANY HOWRS, and it just got VERY HOTS.

So when my Person came back in a DIFFERENT moovable masheen, she got owt and I ran over and mraw mraw mraw'd. And she said, "what are you doing out here??" And then she got REAL MAD. Not at me, because I am her big guy, but at that big smelly man, who I guess was there to fix some stuff in the partment, which is just dumb, because I AM A BIG MAN AND I CAN FIX THESE THINGS. So she scooped me up and gave me lots of smooches and called me a very good boy for not running away - as if I would leave the place where the FOODS is - and took me back inside. And I found the coolest place in the whole partment to lay down and recover from my big advenchur.

Which is in the front closet.

Anyway, while I was getting cool, my Person got BACK on the compyooter and there was a email from the man who owns the partment. And he said that the reepareman had let me out and tried to find me but he couldn't, and that he hoped I would come back home. And that was it. MY PERSON WAS REAL MAD AT HIM!!!!! But she couldn't say anything to him because he owns the partment.

So, she gave me lots of treats instead.

Then Sophie started to get scared that I was not really ME but just another stray cat who LOOKS like me. And I didn't want my Person to think that too so I made sure to do lots of Kismet moves last night, like throwing lots of things off of the tables and mrawing REAL LOUD to get fed REAL EARLY in the morning. And growling at Sophie. I think Sophie is still scared - she is usually scared of SOMETHING - but I am pretty sure that my Person knows that I am me, because she told me my feets are real big a few times already today.

Anyway, the moral of the story is to not trust the big smelly men in your partments. And be careful of the HOTS! And never forget where your foods lives.

Man Cat Monday

2007-08-02T07:49:00.000-04:00

My favorite place to lay is on the back of the couch. I stretch out, which means I take up a LOT of space because I am VERY long, and I let my paws dangle, and I put my head down. It is very comfy. I call it my cat yoga, because there are certain poses that I do. When I do my yoga, my Person says that I look like a little sea lion.

PERSONALLY I do not see the resemblance. I am a very big man cat, and these sea lions do not seem very vishus. But, I did name some of my yoga poses after the sea lions, because you are supposed to name yoga poses after animals.

This is forward-facing sea lion:

This is backward-facing sea lion:
Man cat lives are very stressful and it is important to do things like sea lion yoga to de-stress. Give it a try the next time you are stressed out, like from maybe NOT GETTING THE FOODS WHEN YOU WANT THE FOODS or having SMALL ORNJ CATS ATTACK YOUR TAIL WHICH IS NOT A TOY. It helps!

Man Cat Monday

2007-07-30T08:10:00.000-04:00

It's DEFINITELY Monday.

I was saving this post for Man Cat Monday, and while I waited TONS of cats posted pictures of them wearing their own ties! We are all heading off to the office today.

I am challenging authority by wearing mine to the side. I am also going to give MOST of my paperwork to Sophie.

MY VARY FIRST FASHUN SHOW FRIDAY!!!

2007-07-27T11:47:00.000-04:00

HI! I ARE SOPHIE! This has ben a VARY bizzy week, becuz the big DAWG was heer for a long long tyme. But the big dawg is gone now, and I are VARY happy abowt that, becuz it means that I can sit on the kowch again and eat my foods!!!!! I do lyke to hang owt in the laydee's room, but it is nyce to be able to come owt too!!!!! I are VARY excited to be blogging today becuz I are doing my VARY FIRST fashun show Friday!!!!!!! The nyce laydee got me a VARY BYOOTIFUL shert. I think it is maybe even something that my hero Daisy would wear!!!! I HOPE SO. I want to be just lyke Daisy when I grow up!!! Heer I are in my shert: As yoo can see it has BYOOTIFUL ruffles on the sleeves!!!! And the ruffles have FLOWERS on them!!!!!! Heer is what it luks lyke from the frunt: The BEST PART is the back!!!! The shert has vary ladylyke buttins and some more flowers: The flowers match my ornj fur, and the ruffles match my socks!!!!
I think my shert is vary byootiful!!! It makes me feel VARY pretty. Do yoo lyke it???

WOOF

2007-07-24T07:56:00.000-04:00

I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO BLOG BECAUSE THERE IS A BIG DOG STAYING WITH US.

A
BIG
DOG
IN
MY
PARTMENT

I AM A VERY MAD MAN CAT. I HAVE NOT PEED ON ANYTHING YET, BUT I HAVE HISSED AND GROWLED A LOT. AND BEEN CHASED BY THE DOG TWICE.

HERE IS THE DOG. Notice how he looks very happy. This is because he thinks man cats and small orange cats are TOYS.

My Person says he is only here for a few days while my friend Jess takes the bar icksam. This is probably some sort of class where you learn how to avoid getting sick, so I guess it makes sense that she could not take her dog with her, because he might get sick while she is learning to bar it, but I still do not understand why he had to come stay with ME.

I am on a foods strike. Sophie was doing it with me, but she caved last night. SO IT IS JUST ME NOW, CATS.

I ARE HELPFUL!

2007-07-18T07:52:00.001-04:00

HI! I ARE SOPHIE! I was going to try to do a werdless Wensday post but I can't acuz I have stuff to SAY!!!

This pikchur is of my tayl! I are helping the nyce laydee reed the newspaypur!!! I do not reed the newspaypur but I do lyk to EET IT!!!! It are VARY delishus!!!! I think the nyce laydee REELY appreesheeayts my help!!

Thank yoo Kismet for letting me blog today!!!!!

PRESENTS!

2007-07-17T12:56:00.001-04:00

I got a package from Jake and Bathsheba yesterday night!!!!!!!!! I was VERY excited, but there is a process to opening packages. You can't just RIP INTO them. That would be very undignified.
First, you have to sniff. This is the only way to tell if there are suspishus things inside, like other cats, or GREAT things, like FOODS! After you make sure that there is nothing scary or nothing that you don't want to share, you can let other cats in your house, like little orange sisters, sniff it too. Even though it is YOUR present, and not hers. Because maybe you are just REALLY NICE like that. After the sniffing is done, you might want to just get comfortable on the present. Sometimes, the best part of the present is the box itself! (You can also see my big whisker humps and my very long whiskers here.) And always remember to make sure to remind everyone that the present is FOR YOU AND NOT THEM. Anyway, after all of that, you can open the box! Inside mine was a Drinkwell Fountain to help with me pee problems, and Bathsheba even signed it on the bottom! (She can do that because she has so many extra toes) There was also a bag of TEMTAYSHUNS!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE Temtayshuns. I was able to get them out of the box before Sophie saw them, too, but my Person says I have to share with her anyway. I don't think I should have to, though, because Sophie really wanted to play in the box my presents came in, so I let her have it.

She likes to eat newspaypurs and chew on weird things, and there was lots of newspaypurs in the box, so it was a great size - and snack! - for a Sophie! THANK YOU, JAKE AND BATHSHEBA!!!!!

ADVENCHURS!

2007-07-13T13:06:00.000-04:00

I AM KISMET. I AM BACK. THIS IS MY BLOG.

I have been letting my sister Sophie use my blog a lot lately, and I will let her use it in the future too, even though I don't really LIKE TO, but I am NICE, and sometimes my Person says "Kismet be NICE", but for now I am blogging on MY BLOG!

I wanted to write about the great advenchurs I have been having in Merruhlind. I was worried about moving here because our partment in Brooklyn had a GREAT jungle outside, and I didn't know anything about Merruhlind before we got here except that I knew there was no eff trayn, but let me tell you, the jungle here is BIGGER!

PLUS we live ON THE GROWND now, so whenever my Person opens the door to leave, I just RUN RIGHT OUTSIDE and INTO THE JUNGLE! And my Person does not like this, and she grabs me and carries me back inside over her shoulder, and I don't LIKE THAT, and I GROWL, and sometimes I will use my very big front feets to grab onto things so that she can't take me inside that easily, and when I do that she says I am just like a toddler, and I don't know what that means, but it is probably something real big and VISHUS like ME!

Anyway, last weekend my friend Ted came to visit, and he took me outside LOTS! Here I am with Ted:
My Person said "Just make sure he stays on his leesh!" but Ted understands being a big man cat in the jungle, so he let me off my leesh to do some exploring and patrolling. There were many dogs yapping at me from the fenced-in jungle behind the partment, but I was not scared of them. I just kept on exploring. If you are in the jungle, it is important to keep focused like that at all times!
When my Person won't take me out into the jungle, which is A LOT, I watch the cat teevee with Sophie. Sophie does not like to go outside, probably because she used to LIVE outside, which I think would be GREAT, except that you would not get the foods from my Person, and I like the foods from my Person.

My Person is done with her first mester of Brad Skool, so the person that used to live with my Person is coming to see us today! I am hoping that she brings presents, and that she will remember how big I am and that I like to be told how big I am. She was always good at this, so I think she will remember. Sophie is very scared of her.

And because my sister is formerly feral, and it's Friday, here is a pic of her too. I AM NICE. Plus, this picture really deminstrayts her feralness. She likes to dig in the garbage for foods, and to lick the foods cans after we eat the foods. It is very undignified.
AND, we got some awards lately - The Rockin' Boy Blogger (which I got from Jake and Speedy) and Rockin' Girl Blogger (which Sophie got from the lovely Bathsheba WHO HAS EXTRA TOES IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW) awards, and Sophie won the schmooze award from Fiona and Ali too! Thanks for nominating us, everybody!

I have been real bad about updating my friends' links, maybe because certain small orange cats keep TAKING MY BLOG, so if you read our blog and would like to be added to the links, please leave a comment and I PROMISE to add you. It is just hard to get the computer from my Person sometimes.

OH MY GOSH!!!!!

2007-07-10T21:19:00.000-04:00

HI!!! I ARE SOPHIE!!!! I GOTTED TAGGED TO DO A SURVAY BY SKEEZIX HOO IS THE MOST FAMISSIST OF ALL THE CATS IN THE HOLE WERLD!!!!!! He is SUCH a selebritee, PLUS my HERO DAISY is his gerlfrend!! I ARE SO ACITED!!!!!!

But afore I can do the survay I haf to tell evarywun that this is my BRUTHER'S blog, and that I have just been YOOZING IT a lot laytlee, and that he is going to blog again SOON. Here are a pikchur of him so yoo know that I am not lying.

As yoo can see, he is still VARY big!!!! I luv my bruther!!!!

HEER IS THE SURVAY!!! I luv SKEEZIX!!!!

What were you doing 10 years ago?
I am VARY yung, so I was not alyv! But if I was, I was probablee a cat foods tayster becuz I LOVE the foods!!!!

What were you doing 1 year ago?
I was living outsyd in Rode Aylind!!!! I was also VARY VARY yung, even yunger than I am now!!! And I was living with my mom and my dad and my bruther, and thare was a meen man who did not lyk us!!!

Five snacks you enjoy:
I LOVE THE FOODS!! I will eet anything the nyce laydee lets me eet, lyk her food, or YORE food, but if I hadta pick theez would be my five:

1. TEMTAYSHUNS!!!! Sometimes when the nyce laydee gives my bruther and me the FOODS she forgets to close the door to the kabinit, and I steal the WHOLE BAG OF TEMTAYSHUNS, and I take it into my cat tent and chew on it until I can get it open and then my bruther and I eat the WHOLE THING!!!!
This is what I look lyk in my tent:

Yoo can tell it is me becuz my feets are white!!!!!
2. PEETZUH!! Peetzuh is VARY delishus. It has 2 vary delishus parts: the cheez, and the krust. I like to steal entire krusts in my mouth and run away with them, but they are vary hard to eat so this is only for profeshunuls!!!
3. Baked potaytoz!!! When the laydee eats theez, she puts sower kreem and cheez on them, so if I can get a good bite, thare are many delishus things ON TOP of the potayto itself, which is also delishus!!!
4. FRISKEEZ!!!! Friskeez always tastes better from my bruther's bowl. He does not mynd switching with me halfway throo the meel, either. HE IS THE BEST BRUTHER!!!
5. When I am VARY hungry, I chew on my tayl. It is not that taystee.

Five songs to which you know the lyrics:
I do not know the werds to any songs, BUT I sing a lot anyway! The laydee calls it my "cherping".

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:

Buy my bruther and the nyce laydee LOTS of presents!!
Buy myself a whole lot of FOODS!!! An entyre peetsuh, JUST FOR ME!!!
Get a WHOLE LOT OF KLOHZ and praktiss being just lyk DAISY!!!!
Pay to have the whole nayburhood fenced in so my bruther could go owtsyd as much as he wants! He gets VARY growchy when the nyce laydee does not let him go owt.
Mayk shur that EVARYWUN is as happy as ME!!!

Five bad habits:

I steel foods.
Sometimes, thare is poops on my booty.
I lyk to play ALL THE TIME and sometimes I attack my bruther's tayl to mayk him play with me.
The things on the nyce laydee's dresser are NOT toys. I have a hard tym remembering this.
I lyk to chew on fingers. Not vary hard, though!!!

Five things you like doing:

EATING THE FOODS!!!!
Having my booty petted!
Hanging owt with the nyce laydee
BLOGGING!!!!!!
Following my bruther arownd. He is VARY fassinayting.

Five things you would never wear again:

I do not reely have many klohz. I have a black tee-shirt that says S Katty Kat on it, becuz that is my rapper naym. And I have a pink polo shirt, but it is kinda big on me, becuz I am VARY small. I also have a white tee-shirt. I would ware all of them agenn!!!!! I would maybe not like to ware shooz on my feets, but that is all. I would also REELY LUV a pretty party dress, becuz I am a GERL!!!!

Five favourite toys:

My fuzzy wyte snohflayk ball
My bloo fether wand (I played with this so much I broked it)
My BRUTHER!!!!
The nyce LAYDEE!!!
The things on the nyce laydee's dresser are NOT TOYS.

I am asposed to tag FIVE OTHER CATS but I do not know too many other cats acuz I don't have my own BLOG! I will try though!!!!

I know that Skeezix already tagged her, but I HAFTA TAG DAISY becuz she is my HERO!!!!
And Dragonheart, acuz he does not have any hayrs and I bet not having to clean all of that fluff is VARY nyce!!!!
And Finn, acuz he told me I was pretty!!!!!
And TRIP acuz he seems acited all the time lyk me!!!!
And last but not leest, JAZPER acuz we lived on Rohd Aylind together!!!!!

I LUV MY BRUTHER AND EVARYWUN!!!!

2007-07-02T06:32:00.000-04:00

Hi!! I are SOPHIE! I are yoozing my bruther's blog for SOPHIE SUNDAY!!!!!!! I know it is TEKNIKLEE Man Cat Monday, but I wunted to blog abowt ME, and I couldn't do it yesturday becuz the nice laydee had to use the compyooter to typ things for her frend Brad Skool, so my bruther sed I could blog today INSTED!!! MY BRUTHER IS THE BEST!!!! I am very acited!!!!

The nice laydee cut the furs on my butt!!!! I am VARY fluffy, and the hairs back there were VARY long and when I sit down they fan owt and sometimes poops would get stuck to them so the nice laydee trimmed them for me!!! Here is a pikchur:
As yoo can see I am still VARY fluffy, but now the hairs are shorter and they take less time to kleen, AND NOW I can sit in things like this:
without my butt hairs hanging out!!!! The nice laydee sed that this is a candul holder but I fit in it vary nyclee!!!!!
Here is a pikchur of me and my bruther watching the cat teevee!!!!
My tayl is in the pikchur, but it is not big becuz I am ascayred, it ALWAYS looks like that. I am VARY fluffy!! I lyk to watch the cat teevee with my bruther!!!
Here is a pikchur of my feets!!!
I am vary oranj, except for my toes and my tummy and my feets and my chest!! And my paw pads which are pink becuz I am a GIRL!!!!

I hope you lykt my blog!!! I like to eat the foods and kleen the hairs on my tummy and lay on top of the laydee!!!!

Wordless Wednesday and my ONE HUNDREDTH POST!

2007-06-13T07:04:00.000-04:00

Man Cat Monday

2007-06-11T07:05:00.000-04:00

When you are posing for pictures, it is very manly to sneak a fang in there now and then, just to remind the persons that you are WILD and VISHUS! I also think this picture is manly because I look very big, like a kooger or a bobcat!

MOVED!

2007-06-06T18:37:00.000-04:00

I LIVE IN MERRUHLIND NOW INNERNETS!!! And LET ME TELL YOU, it has been quite a PROCESS getting here. I have read on other blogs about movable masheens that other cats' persons have, and I was never very sure what they were talking about, but after all of my furniture and belongings, including my LITTER BOX, were taken out of my partment in Brooklyn, I was shoved into the prison box with Sophie, and put in the BIG LOUD MASHEEN.

WELL.

AND THEN IT STARTED MOVING.

Sophie just curled up and got scared and stayed in the corner, but I just got MAD. MAD! So first I mraw mraw mraw'd real loud, and my Person said "it's ok, Kismet!" very many times, and stuck her fingers in the prison bars so I would know she was right there, but clearly it was NOT OK AND I DO NOT KNOW WHAT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT, so then I did what I had to do.

I pooped.
In the prison box.

And my Person had to open the door of the prison box to get the poop out, which she did not seem to enjoy, and as soon as she did that I walked right out of that box and settled myself on her lap. And I got to watch all of the sights flying by! Like we went over a bridge, but not the rainbow bridge, at least I don't think so, because I seem to be okay and still HERE, and I stood up and looked out the window, and then eventually I just settled down on my Person's lap.

We drove to a place where my Person and Sophie and me got into a whole DIFFERENT masheen, and in that one my Person had to drive, and so I had to stay in the prison box. But after all of the pooping and walking around the other masheen I was actually kind of sleepy, and Sophie was still REAL SCARED, so I tried to be a nice big bruther and I cuddled with her and gave her a bath while she was sleeping. This was nice on TWO counts, because she was stinky after sitting on my poops for a little while, and because it is nice to have someone to cuddle with when you are scared.

Anyway, so after many many YEARS in the masheen, we FINALLY got to our new home in Merruhlind. Our partment in Brooklyn was high up in the sky, but our partment in Merruhlind is very low. When I watch the cat teevees, it is like I am RIGHT ON THE GROUND! And because the partment is so close to the ground, it is VERY cool inside, which is nice, because our partment in Brooklyn got SO HOTS in the summer, and the HOTS make me real grouchy. And HOTS.

When we got to the partment all I wanted to do was EXPLORE, and make sure there was no other cats or foods hanging around, but my Person just shut me and Sophie up in the bedroom while she brought all of her stuff in. I was real mad and mraw mraw'd a lot but Sophie was still scared so she hid in the closet, so I could not mraw a WHOLE LOT, because I had to make sure Sophie was okay.

After all of the stuffs was brought in, my Person had to put some furniture together. So I helped, because putting stuffs together is a real man cat thing to do. First, I looked at the directions.
Because I am a big man cat I actually prefer to not read the directions and just put things together, because I don't NEED to read the directions, because I just KNOW where everything goes, because I am a BIG MAN CAT, but the lady persons get upset if you don't read them so I had to do it. After looking at them for a minute, I then made sure that all of the pieces were there.
Here I am giving them a good sniff. After making sure all the pieces are there it is very important to give them a smell to make sure that they have not been peed on or that there are not any foods or other cats hiding in there.

Then I took a bath.
It's important to stay clean when you are assembling furniture because you don't want the furniture to get all dirty because YOU are dirty! Then, I used my very big claws to open the boxes, and then I was kinda tired so I took a break.
Putting stuff together is VERY tiring, so after I sat for awhile I realized that I didn't really want to do anymore, so I took on the role of supervisor. I just helped my Person and her person (Bonnie from Whiskonsin, who is her mom) put the stuff together - I told them where the parts went, and they followed my instructions.
It worked out pretty well and now we have lots of furniture!

Besides helping to put stuff together, I have just been trying to help my Person adjust to the new partment and to hanging out with Brad Skool. Brad gives my Person lots of stuff to read and she has also started reading this thing called the newspaper. She reads it every single day, and the newspaper is very nice to sit your booty on, and Sophie also likes to eat it, because Sophie likes to eat everything. So, we have to sit with my Person while she does all of her reading. She is also gone a LOT less than she was when she was hanging out with Jahb, so all in all I think that I approve of Merruhlind and Brad Skool, but I do miss the eff trayn and that person who lived with my Person in Brooklyn.

Now that I am settled, I can blog more! I am very excited about this, and I hope everyone still remembers who I am!

Also, just so you know, Sophie is just fine now. My Person said that she thinks that Sophie was REAL scared because the only other time that Sophie has been in a movable masheen was when she was brought to live with us in Brooklyn, and so Sophie probably thought she was going to live with a new person again. But after a few days she was just fine. I, of course, was never worried, because I know that my Person could never go anywhere without me, because I am the best and cleanest big man cat ever in her whole life. And of course, she could not put together the furniture unless I was here.

Whiny Wednesday

2007-05-16T21:20:00.000-04:00

My Person is gone in Whiskonsin and Merruhlind finding a partment for us there, and so it's just me and Sophie and that nice person who lives with my Person, and so I have nobody to hump and nobody to talk to me about how big my feets are, but just so that I don't forget all my routines I have been trying to keep up with them, like sitting my booty on the white cover on the person's litter box while the nice person stands in the white box with all the water, but while I was doing that today SOPHIE knocked something over in the other room and I was so SURPRISED that I FELL INTO THE BOX WITH THE WATER.

Here is my booty afterward.
It is wet.
And then the person who lives with my Person TOLD MY PERSON about it so now my Person knows that I have been doing undignified and not very man cat like things while she is gone.

Mraw.

MOVING?

2007-05-05T10:14:00.000-04:00

GUESS WHAT, INNERNETS! I have not been able to blog much lately, and I will not be able to blog much for awhile, because my Person sat down me and Sophie and told us that we are MOVING!

She told us that she is not going to hang out with her friend Jahb anymore. At first I was REAL excited, because my Person leaves to spend time with Jahb almost every single day, and if she is not going to hang out with him anymore, that means she will have more time to hang out with ME! (and Sophie, too, I guess) But THEN she said that instead of Jahb, she is going to go see her friend Brad Skool. I don't know much about Brad Skool, except that he lives in someplace called Merruhlind, and that for her to spend enough time with Brad Skool, we have to go live in Merruhlind!!!

I am not sure how I feel about this. I do not think I am too mad because I have not had the urge to pee on anything. But this means there will be no more eff trayn, and no more partment in Brooklyn, and MAYBE NO MORE JUNGLE EITHER. But my Person says that Merruhlind is not THAT far away and that she is only going to be with Brad Skool for one year, and then she will be the masters of Brad Skool. To be honest this is all kind of CONFYOOZING, but overall it sounds like I might get to see my Person more often so it should be ok.

But anyway, since we are moving, I have to do many things to help my Person get ready, like sit in boxes to make sure that they will hold all of our Friskies, and sweep up the floor with my very big paws so that other persons will want to live in our partment. I will try to blog when I get a chance, but it might be awhile! DONT FORGET ABOUT ME INNERNETS!!

Out There on my leash!

2007-04-27T08:10:00.000-04:00

Since it is getting nice outside again, my Person decided to take me out into the great jungle Out There on my leash this week! I was very excited. We live in the air in our building, and whenever my Person opens the door to go to the front door, I always come down the stairs with her because I am a very intrepid explorer. But when it was cold outside she would never let me go outside of the door. BUT THIS WEEK SHE FINALLY DID! I explored many things.
This is me sitting under this very big metal thing. It had gas, as you can see by the gas can in the back, but it was not the same smelly kind of gas that my sister Sophie has. I spent a LOT of time sniffing the big metal thing's blanket, because it smelled a lot like MEATS!!! And I REALLY like meats. I tried to lick the blanket a few times too, but my Person said "Kismet, that is gross" and made me move on to other things. She told me that the big metal thing is used for cooking meats and that is why it smelled like them. My Person does not eat meats, so it is really a miracle that I even remember what they smell like.

Since my Person would not let me lick the metal thing's blanket, I instead decided to eat some grass. I LOVE GRASS! I also looked around for some sellree, but I did not find any. I guess we do not grow our own sellree. But the grass was still VERY delishus.

The jungle is set up for a man cat, I think, because the grass is just tall enough that I can sit my booty on this big chair to eat it. It was a little difficult to get the eating stance right, though. I had to spread my very big back feets out to brace myself, and put most my man cat weight on my very big FRONT feets. It worked PERFECTLY once I figured it out, though! Here is a picture of my very big back feets in the right position. And also of my booty.
Being out in the jungle makes me feel like a WILD CAT! If you a young cat and scare easily you might not want to look at the next two pictures, because I do not want you to be spooked by my WILD CATNESS!
Although, if you have never been to the jungle, you might not even be able to find me in these pictures at all.

There are many things in the jungle that will distract you, and also some that will sneak up on you. That is why you have to be alert at all times. Notice how I am in the middle of my snack, but have made sure to stop eating when I hear DANGER approaching!

Once I decided that there was no immediate danger, I allowed myself to keep eating my snack - but I still kept my eyes out and my ears pricked!

It was a VERY GREAT trip into the jungle, but eventually we had to go back inside because the whole time we were Out There, my sister Sophie sat in the window and cried and cried and cried. She wants to type this part herself.

Hi! I are Sophie! I are yoozing my bruther's blog to tawk about how SCAYREE it was when my bruther was gawn! I sitted in the window and CRYED and CRYED. "WARE IS MY BRUTHER?? WY IS HE GAWN??? CAN YOU HEER ME, NICE LAYDEEE???" I thawted that maybe they had gawn to live outsyd, becuz I yoost to live outsyd, and I do not want to live outsyd AGENN, but if my bruther AND the nice laydee are going to live outsyd, I would rather be outsyd with them then alohn by myself in HEER. But then they kaym back! And I was so acited to see my bruther! And then we gotted FOODS!!!! My bruther wuns to typ now. It is nyc of him to let me yooz his blog becuz I know that he doesn't lyk it when I yooz his blog.

Anyway, my Person says that Sophie can't go outside in the jungle with us because she does not have a leash for her yet, and obveeisslee she cannot use mine because it would be WAY TOO BIG, and she also thinks that Sophie wouldn't even want to go in the jungle unless I was going too. So for now, jungle time is just me and my Person. I am not sure the jungle Out There is a good place for tiny girl cats, anyway.

NEW FOODS

2007-04-25T08:10:00.000-04:00

I have discovered a new foods that I like a LOT. Here is a picture of me trying it for the first time. You can see how happy I am by the look on my face.

Here is a closeup so you can see what the foods looks like:
My Person says it is called sellree and she was VERY surprised when she saw me eating it. Personally I do not understand why she was confused - it is a lot like cat grass, which I LOVE, but it has a little more kick to it. Since I am such a big guy, I can handle kicky foods. And the BEST PART about sellree is that my sister Sophie, who eats ANYTHING, including gross foods like rys kayks and peenut butter that I would not even touch with one TOE, DOES NOT LIKE SELLREE!!! So I do not have to fight her for it at ALL.
Here I am licking my lips just to make sure there was no sellree I missed. (If you make it bigger, you can REALLY see me!) It was very delishus. If you like cat grass, you should try it! If you like Friskies, you should try it too, because I also like Friskies.

Trouble

2007-04-21T10:40:00.000-04:00

Sophie is in trouble.After this, I peed in a basket.

My Person says it's a ruff morning in our apartment, but I don't see any dogs around.

Fluffy things

2007-04-20T08:13:00.000-04:00

Lately Sophie and I have been hanging out a LOT in the people catbox room. The spot where I am sitting is the person catbox, but when the persons are not using it they cover it with this nice smooth cover that feels very nice on my booty. I usually sit here when my Person is pouring water on herself in the big white box, but it feels so nice on my booty that lately I have been sitting there even after she is all done with the pouring.
Sophie follows me around and wants to do EVERYTHING I DO LIKE EVEN USING MY BLOG, so when I sit on the white thing she sometimes will sit with me. But when my Person gets out of the big white box, Sophie always hops right in.
She likes to sit there and give herself a bath, and she also likes to hide behind the kurtin and watch me. I think that she thinks that I can't see her, but I can. But I play along, because watching me from behind the kurtin is one of the less annoying things that Sophie does.

Since today is Friday, I am posting some pictures of Sophie's tail for her. In the post SHE MADE ON MY BLOG, Eric told her about Fluffy Friday, and since I know that Fridays are also Formerly Feral (which Sophie is too) I GUESS I WILL LET HER show her tail on my blog. It is VERY fluffy.

My Person calls it a rakoon tail. I have never met a rakoon, but I bet they have big fluffy tails too. MY tail only gets big when things around me might be vishus.

I help TOO!

2007-04-13T07:26:00.000-04:00

Hi! I are Sophie! I are using Kismet's blog becuz I red his post about helping fold the lawndree and I wanted to show evrywun that I helped too!
Here I are! After I saw my bruther helping fold the clohz, I wanted to help too, becuz I want to do EVRYTHING my bruther does! I love my bruther!
Here I are agenn! My tayl is vary fluffy! Luk how nyclee the clohz are foldid! I helped!
OOh, something SHYNEE!

My bruther does not lyk it when I yooz his blog.

Just me and my pee

2007-04-12T18:29:00.000-04:00

Even though the VETS said that my pee is normal (which I knew. It is very smelly and when I pee a lot of it comes out. TOTALLY NORMAL, PERSON), I have still been peeing on the chair a lot. I have been hearing my Person say that she might just get rid of the chair, and I really hope that she does not do this, because peeing on the chair is the BEST! First I hop up onto it and use my very big front feets to clean off the surface. This is very important because you can't just pee on ANYTHING, it has to be clean! So I use my feets to scrape it off. This is also good in case there are some foods or other very tiny cats that you cannot see, because you would not want to pee on either of these things. Then I shake my booty a little bit, and I put my front feets on the back of the chair and lift my tail up and just pee away. It is VERY comfy to pee like this, because the chair is so skwishy and soft. My Person has caught me a few times and everytime she says "Kismet NO! We do NOT pee on the furniture!" and she grabs me and puts me in front of the litterbox. And I just say, mraw mraw Person, obveeisslee WE do not pee on the furniture, I am the one who pees on the furniture MRAW MRAW." And then just to throw her off I use my front feets to sweep up the floor in front of the litterbox, but when she is not looking I go back and pee on the chair. Sometimes it takes two or three tries before I get all of the pee out, but it is worth it to be so comfy!

Since I know that my peeing on the chair makes my Person upset, I have tried to make up for it by being a very good boy in other ways. Like, I keep her company when she is in the big white box pouring water all over herself.
Here I am supervising the pouring of the water. I do not really understand the whole act of pouring water over oneself, but nomatter how loud I sit there and mraw mraw (and sometimes I even reach in to grab her leg and try to pull her OUT), my Person will not stop doing it, so I like to make sure that the water is not too hot for her. Then while she is in there, I catch up on my reading about the famous ladies.
Yesterday, I also helped with the laundry. First, I supervised the folding of the clothes. This is very important, because I like things to be CLEAN! I also particularly liked this shirt because it has the word HAM on it, and I like ham. I know my friends the meezers like it too!
(If you make this picture big, you can see the chair (the one I pee on) in the background. Doesn't it look skwishy and like you want to pee on it too???)
After that, I helped my Person make the bed. This is ALSO important, because I sleep on that bed every night so I HAVE to make sure that there are no mices or other cats hiding underneath the blankets, and I also have to approve of where they are all placed.
This is me giving it the paws of approval.

Anyway, I know my Person doesn't like me peeing on the chair, but with all of the nice good boy things I have been doing lately, how could she REALLY be mad?

The results are IN!

2007-04-03T19:58:00.000-04:00

I did not hear about my pee until YESTERDAY because the VETS never called my Person when they said they would! I was kind of fine with this, because I hate the VETS and I also hate hearing about my pee, and just to drive this point home I made sure to pee again on the chair last night. But anyway, my Person heard back from the VETS, after she called them three times, which made her very grouchy, and my pees are fine. WHICH I KNEW ALL ALONG, THANK YOU. My pee's pee aytch is normal and I do not have any crystals, which are sparkly things that girl cats wear, so of course I do not have any. This whole thing was stupid. I should never have had to go to the VETS to begin with.

Anyway, I did not pee on the chair today. My Person said she talked to the nice man who introduced us and that he has given her lots of ideas to stop the peeing on the chair. I just mrawed at her and made sure that she remembered that SOME persons think that I am a HAWK, and maybe she shouldn't mess around with me too much, if you know what I am SAYING.

I am sure that I will pee on the chair again at some point, though. You have to keep your persons on their toes.

THE VETS

2007-04-01T10:58:00.000-04:00

WELL. I went to the VETS yesterday.

I knew I was going soon, because I heard my Person talking about it, but I didn't know exactly when, so I had to be on the lookout. And yesterday when she brought out my HUGE prison box, I knew it was time! She put the prison box on the floor, and I was sitting on the couch, and when she came over to me and picked me up, I decided to get warmed up for the VETS by putting up a fight about getting into the box. My Person tried to slide me into the box while it was sitting on the floor, but I used my very big paws to grab the sides of the box to keep myself out of it. I thought maybe once my Person saw how strong I am and how big my paws are she would realize that I do not need to go to the VETS, EVER, but unfortunately she did not seem to think this way, because she turned the prison box on its booty and dropped me into it that way. I tried to use my very big back feets to stay out of it, but it didn't exactly work.

To be honest, I don't really mind being in the prison box. I like to curl up and be carried around (if I had a harem, I imagine this is what it would be like!). My Person carries the box while we walk to the VETS, and she always puts some of her fingers in the prison bars so that I know that it is really HER carrying me around, and I put my nose through the bars right by her hand and I make sure to mraw mraw whenever we pass other persons so that they know that a very big man cat is passing them by. It was very nice out yesterday, and if I hadn't known where we were going, it would have been a very good walk.

But of course, I DID know that we were going to the VETS, and as soon as we walked inside there, I was on alert. My Person set the prison box down so she could go talk to the lady behind the counter, and I immediately began to mraw mraw very loudly. My Person came and sat back down and told me it was all going to be okay, but I knew she was LYING, because then a cat in the torchur room heard me and started mraw mrawing back. We were mrawing very loudly but then they brought that cat out to his person and he got to leave. I was very jellis, but I also knew that he understood my pain. Anyway, that is when the assistant vet man said we could go back into the torchur room.

My Person carried the prison box into the room and set it on the examinayshun table and opened the door for me. Because it was my Person opening the door, and not the vet lady or her helper, I came out obeedeeintlee, but only because I knew if I didn't, the vet lady would dump me out and that is very undignified. I sat my booty on the table and my Person rubbed my head for me while she told them about my pee problems. But then she had to go sit down, and as soon as the vet assistant man reached for me, I BOLTED!

First I ran to the edge of the table, making sure to hiss and growl and put my ears way back the whole time. The assistant man did eventually grab me and take me over to the scale, but as soon as that was done, I wiggled and wiggled and ESCAPED! I bolted over to where my Person was sitting and got under her chair. The man moved the chair next to her, and I hissed and growled and SCREEMED for all I was worth! My Person got up so he could try to get under her chair, and I bolted for the counter! I sat on the counter by the sink, and whenever he came near me, I yelled at him until finally, HE LEFT THE ROOM!!! VICTORY WAS MINE!!

My Person could sense that I was very upset and she came over to where I was sitting on the counter and began to rub my head. I growled at first and she said "oh, Kismet, it's okay" and picked me up and held me real tight. I let my ears come up and I stopped growling and glared at the vet lady. I couldn't see her, but I am sure that my Person was glaring at her too.

Unfortunately, the assistant man came back in. But he was wearing these:

HUGE fake hands and arms that went all way almost up to his shoulder! My Person said later that those fake hands and arms are used when people hold big huge birds like HAWKS! I MADE HIM SO SCARED THAT HE THOUGHT I WAS A HAWK! And when he came in and saw that my Person was holding me and I was being a very good boy, he said "Oh. Of COURSE." And the vet lady said, "well, you aren't his mom." And I said, THAT'S RIGHT YOU AREN'T!

My Person asked if it would be better if she just held me while they torchured me with pointy sticks. But the vet lady said "we actually need him to lay down, so that probably wouldn't work." So my Person put me very carefully on the torchur table, and the assistant man came over and put a towel over my head (probably because he knew that seeing his face would FILL ME WITH RAGE), and they proceeded to do very awful things. Like the vet lady felt my belly and said "oh, he has some yurin. We can just take it out." AND THEN SHE STUCK SHARP THINGS WHERE THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO GO AND I FELT LIKE I HAD TO PEE ON THINGS, LIKE MAYBE HER TORCHUR TABLE. And then she poked me some more and stuck things up my booty, and the assistant man held my very big back feets while all of this was going on, but FINALLY she said "okay, you can go now" and brought out the prison box. And let me tell you, I JUST RAN into that prison box. I didn't even try to show them how big my paws are and how strong I am. I am kind of feeling sad about that now, but at the time, I just wanted to get OUT OF THERE. However, I do feel proud that I made that assistant man so scared that he went and got the hawk gloves!

Anyway, my Person says they will call sometime today with the results of my pee. Just to make sure she knows that this type of behavior is not ok, I peed on the chair again today. This is making her very worried about hearing from the VETS about my pee. I am glad because maybe it means that she will not take me there anymore. And if I do have to go back, that assistant man better LOOK OUT!

Before all of the VETS, Sadie tagged me for a survey about why I blog! So here are five reasons why I love the innernets:

1) I have met many great cats from blogging, and some GREAT lady cats.

2) Lots of persons read my blog too and REALLY like it. They bother my Person when I don't update. I like this because it means that I am educating all of the persons in the world about very important things, like letting cats who don't know you SNIFF you before you assume it is fine to pet them, and how cats look GREAT in shirts, and stuff like that.

3) Blogging really validaytes a lot of my opinions - like when I blog about the VETS, other cats tell me I am totally right for hating it and that I should try to get ninja stars on my file, or when I say how I like to pee on stuff, other cats TOTALLY understand.

4) Whenever I have a problem, or am confYOOZED about something, I like to blog about it and I get really great advice and suggestions from other cats. Like when the pink litterbox appeared, everyone thought I was getting a sister, and then I did! And when I HATED her at first, everyone told me it would get better - and it did!

5) Because when I need to launch things like a KAMPAYN TO GET MORE FOODS, other cats support me!

I will keep everyone posted on how my pee is. Hopefully we will hear soon and my Person will stop hovering over me and freaking out about everything I do. Like today she gave me some cheese and a little while later I blew chunks, and she FREAKED OUT. I blow chunks all the time, lady! Gosh.

EXPLORING....and THE VETS

2007-03-29T21:37:00.000-04:00

Ever since the new person that lives with my Person came to live with us (Sophie calls her the "scayree laydee who loves me a LOT"), interesting things have been appearing in the apartment. First it was that great bed for me and now it is this:
I am not exactly sure what it is, but I am pretty sure that it is a present for me and Sophie. I think that Sophie looks very proper sitting underneath this thing so maybe it is a girl cat thing that I do not understand. Anyway, when it showed up Sophie was very quick to jump under it without even inspecting AT ALL! So I had to check it out to make sure that everything was okay, because that is what a good big brother does.
You can see that my tail is a little bushy, because the thing might have been vishus. You can also see that Sophie looks very confused. This is because inspecting and patrolling are man cat things to do, and since I do them, Sophie never has to.
It turned out there was no need to worry. After closer inspection I decided that the thing was NOT vishus, and Sophie sat under it for a long time. What do you guys think it is? Since it is RIGHT outside Sophie's pink cat box, I think it might actually be a present for me - a sheeld to protect me from the litter that she shakes off of her paws and that she kicks out of the box. And if you remember that day when all the poops got on the wall, you will know that I really do need a sheeld! It is also right under the cat tv, and so it might be a thing for cats to sit under when other cats are watching the cat tv. That way if some cats don't feel like watching right then, the episohds will not be ruined for them and they can watch later!

This was the good part of my post. Now for the bad part: I am going to have to go to the VETS soon. I peed on the chair TWICE this week and my Person is real worried because before I came to live with her I had lots of problems with my yurinerry trakt and blocks. I don't know what a yurinerry trakt is, but it means I can't eat dry foods very often, and I also can't play with blocks, because if I get a block it makes the pees not come. Anyway, I tried to remind her that peeing on things is just what I DO - like the couch that I used to pee on sometimes - but she is still worried because she can't remember the last time I peed in a place I was not supposed to more than once in a week. So now we are going to the VETS. And I HATE THE VETS. And thinking about GOING to the VETS just makes me want to PEE MORE. I will be sure to let you know how it goes. Hopefully it will be good for me and bad for the VETS!

SO BUSY

2007-03-23T21:34:00.000-04:00

SUP INNERNETS!!! I have been such a busy man cat lately that I have just not had time to blog. I want to thank ALL OF MY INNERNET friends who left me messages and comments, and I ESPESHULLY want to thank Rosie and Cheeto, who even went so far as to make a missing poster for me. I am real sorry that I made everyone so worried. But rest ushered that I am fine!

Here are some of the things that have been happening. First of all it was Saynt Patrick's Day last weekend. This is a day where all the persons wear green and pretend that they are Irish, and they drink things that are sometimes also green. Sophie has orange fur, so my Person thinks she is definitely Irish (something about how all redheads are, which I do not really understand, because Sophie's head is not red, and like I just said her fur is ORANGE), but since I am a very handsome brown and black and grey color, my Person decided to give me some green stuff to wear.

The thing around my neck is called a bandanna. I got it from my Aunt Amy, who has many meezer cats. Her meezer cats work with her in her doctor's office - she is a doctor for real tiny persons who have trouble paying attention in school. And they have bandannas for EVERY HOLIDAY EVER. I have one for Thanksgiving too. My Aunt Amy sends me one for every holiday. I have never met her, but she seems real nice! Anyway, I think it kinda tough to pull off a bandanna, but I think I look pretty handsome. The green brings out my eyes. I definitely look Irish, which means that I look good in green.

But the OTHER thing that happened - which is the REAL REASON why I couldn't blog for so long - is that my Person got a new computer! It is named Mack, and it looks like this:

I was real excited when I found out about it. Since it is named Mack, I know that it is a MAN CAT computer, because a girl computer would never be called Mack. You can also tell that Mack is for man cats because he has a apple on him. A apple is some gross foods that only Sophie would eat, but it is still a type of foods, so you know that Mack understands the IMPORTANT things. But Mack works a lot different than the old computer, so it has taken me some time to get used to it. But as you can tell, I am getting the hang of it now!

I have also been very busy protesting my feeding skedjuwul. I am a very big guy and I would like my foods more than just two times a day. So I have been trying real hard to walk around the apartment a lot and mraw mraw MUCH MORE THAN NORMAL. And in the mornings as soon as I get hungry, I go sit my booty on top of my Person when she is sleeping and mraw mraw real loud. And when she opens her eyes and looks at me, I just give her the "What? I do not know what you are confused about? Mraw?" And then she will close them again. And then I repeet. Sophie has kinda been ruining this plan, though, by licking my Person's face in the mornings. I think maybe she has been reading Skeezix's blog and is mistaking our Person for Mr. Tasty Face - because while I love my Person and all, in the morning, I would much rather be EATING SOME FOODS.

Anyway, so that is what has been going on. Now that Mack and I have gotten to know each other I will be blogging more, I PROMISE!

Man Cat Monday (sort of)

2007-03-05T22:34:00.000-05:00

I am sort of doing a Man Cat Monday post. I say sort of, because I am including a picture of my sister Sophie. I do not want to cause any CONFYOOZHIN, so I just want to make sure that everyone understands that Sophie is NOT a man cat. But lately, we have been reading a lot:
As you can see, I prefer grownup and manly books like Seabiscuit. This is a book about a horse, which is a big man type of creechur. Sophie on the other paw likes smaller pink books with titles like "Girl Talk". My Person says these are seereez, and that they are about teenage girls. I don't know what that means but I do know that this is nothing I am interested in reading, ever. But reading in general is a very good thing to do and can be either manly or wo-manly, depending on what you choose.

This weekend I also fixed the innernets, because my Person and that person who lives with my Person could not figure out how to get it to work. So I came to the rescue!
Those boxes are called rowters. They are what make the innernets come into my apartment. I think they do this by mraw mrawing and scaring the innernets into doing what they want, and that is why they are called ROW-ters. But their mrawing was not scaring the innernets enough because there was no innernets for awhile. So I sat my booty down next to them and cleaned my big man paws right in front of them and this seemed to make them understand exactly who is boss! I also mraw mraw'd a few times so the rowters would remember how to do it themselves. All of this is pretty manly, plus fixing things is manly all of the time.

Thursday survey with Sophie

2007-03-01T10:18:00.000-05:00

Hi! This is Sophie! I gotted tagged for a survey by A DOGGY at Emma's blog! So Kismet are letting me use his blog! He is kleening his toez rite now! I would lyk some foods!

1) 4 places I lived:
-Outsyd on Rohd Aylind. I was real little and it was kold and there was a meen man there!
-With Danyel. Danyel reskyood me!
-With my bruther Kismet and the nice laydee and the scary laydee who REELY REELY LIKES ME, which where I live now.
-That is it!

2) 4 things I love to watch:
-My bruther Kismet. He is vary fassinayting.
-The feetses of the peeple I live with.
-The cat teevee!!
-All of my toys

3) 4 places I have been outside home:
-With the scary man in Rohd Aylind.
-In my bruther Kismet's carry-er to the vet laydee.
-In the big mooving masheen with Danyel, when I kaym to live with my bruther Kismet.
-Sometimes, when the nice laydee goes out of the door, I follow her, but I never go down the stayrs like Kismet does.

4) 4 websites I visit daily:
- Akchually, my bruther does not let me use the compyooter because I get too acited. BUT I do walk across the keeys, and sometimes I even sit my booty on the skreen!

5) 4 favorite foods:
I LIKE ALL FOODS!!!!!! Espeshully whatever my laydee is eeting, because she eats the MOST DELISHUS FOODS. I like to steel them by grabbing them with my teefs and then running away.

6) 4 places I would rather be:
-On the laydee's lap, eating some of her foods!!! Kismet says that she has to go see her frend Mr. Jahb most days, but she always comes home at nite and gives us the foods!!!!
-In the big wite box where the laydee gets all wet in. I like to sit in there and look out from behynd the kurtin!!!
-Pooping!!! I like to poop.
-Hyding under the kowch and attacking the laydees feetses!!

7) 4 toys I have owned and played with:
-My fayvrit bloo fether wand from Danyel!
-The fuzzy wite snoball toy
-The feetses of the laydees
-My bruther Kismet!! He is the bestest toy, espeshully his TAYL!

8) 4 nicknames my family like to call me:
-Soapy
-S Katty Kat. That is my rapper naym.
-Just a little soapsoap
-My bruther and the other laydee who livs with my laydee calls me a skavinjer, because I am so good at finding the foods!!

9) Regarding Catnip:
-I have never had catnip!!!

10) Regarding Cat Grass:
-My bruther REELY loves cat grass so I just let him eat it all. But I am shur I would like it because I LOVE ALL FOODS!!!

11) First 4 I'd buy after winning lottery:
-Lots of the foodses that the laydee eats, like peetzuh and ryse kayks!!!
-Some shurts for my bruther.
-LOTS more toys!!!!!
-Probablee just some nice things for the laydees.

12) 4 things I do besides eat, sleep, litterbox:
-I poops a lot!!! I know it says BESIDES litterbox but sometimes I don't poops in the box, and anyways I poops enough that it needs to be menchinned again.
-Chase my bruther around the apartment
-Sit on the laydee's lap and purr real loud
-Attack the vishus danglee things

13) 4 things I want to do this summer:
-Attack the vishus danglee things
-Try to get better at the poopsing
-Play with my bruther
-Try MANY new foods!!!!

14) My 4 most prized possessions with limited value:
-My bruther Kismet
-My wite fuzzy snoball toy
-My foods dishes, because that's where my foods goes
-My cat tent!!!!

15) What I’ll do before tomorrow is over:
-Have a bath
-Make shur that my bruther's tayl is not twitching too much because if it is I have to attack it!!
-Follow my bruther around
-Run away from the scaree laydee who loves me a lot
-Lick my laydee's hands and sit on her lap too

16) Favorite place to hide and play?
I like to hide under the kowch! But I will play anywhere.

17) 4 other "pets" your staff have kept:
-My laydee just has my bruther, but when I lived owtside in Rohd Aylind I lived with a bunch of other kitties! Including my mom and dad, who were both ornj, just like me!

I also want to inklood this pikchur of my ear. This is one of the laydee's most fayvrit things about me! Even though I am very ornj, I have two small black dots on my ear! The laydees call them my fashun axsesoreez. I only have two shurts so far, but the dots do match both of them!!
They do not look so very dark in this pikchur, but in reel lyfe, they are!! Thanks for tayging me, nice doggy!!!

Mraw there, stranger!

2007-02-26T18:33:00.000-05:00

Sup, innernets. I have not blogged in many many days. There have been all sorts of STUFFS going on, but mostly I could not blog because it was my Person's birthday, and she seemed to be coming home very late and being very sleepy a lot, and so I had to cuddle with her, and teach Sophie how to do that, and make sure everything was okay. As you can tell my Person really appreciated it:
There was also some chunks-blowing and cat-teevee-watching, and some shirt-wearing, and all of the other big man cat things I do. And then that person who lives with my Person brought all this new stuff into the apartment and I am pretty sure that the stuff is presents for me and Sophie! (I think when it is your Person's birthday, you get presents too!) Like this thing (not an iggzact picture, but very similar):

This is clearly a GREAT CAT FORT for me and Sophie! It has hangy things on top that clink when you touch them with your paws (that is what Sophie likes to do). And my Person put some stuff on top, that when I walk by and push it with my paw, it falls on the floor with a GREAT crash. And underneath is a hiding spot where I can hide, but I have also had to add it to my patrols, because it is another one of those places where mices or cats or other FOODS might be hiding. All in all, a great present.
And on top of the fort was this:

There was some stuff in it, but I am pretty sure it is a bed for me.

So I chewed on it to see how it tasted. Not bad!
And then I inspected all the stuff, to make sure there was nothing vishus inside.
A great bed! Thanks person who lives with my Person! (this series of photos also serves as my Man Cat Monday post, since exploring intrepidly is a very manly thing to do)

Additionally, I got tagged for a survey by my good friend Merlin. I am very excited to do it!

A. Name four places you have lived
1. On the street, with the gang of chiwahwahs.
2. At the pet store, where I was lefted.
3. With that very nice girl Kara who taught me how to pose for pictures.
4. With my Person!

B. Four things I love to watch
1. The cat teevee! Espeshully when the Tommy is on it.
2. My Person's face when I throw things off of the dresser or mraw real loudly.
3. The water running in that big white box thing.
4. Sophie, when I am being sneaky and getting ready to pounce.

C. Four places I have been outside my home
1. The vets. I HATE THE VETS.
2. Outside on my leesh.
3. In my big carrier on the subway, when I came from Kara's to here.
4. The pet store!

D. Four websites I visit daily
1. My friend Skeezix's blog.
2. Hotmail!
3. Merlin's blog.
4. Lots of other cat blogs!

E. Four of my favorite foods.
1. Friskies wet foods
2. Temptayshuns
3. Cheeses
4. Dry foods too

F. Four places I would rather be right now
1. Sleeping on top of the person's teevee (where I will probably go when I am done with this!)
2. Outside on my leesh, but only if it is not so very cold.
3. Having the foods
4. Camping out!

G. Four toys I have owned and played with
1. The VISHUS RIBBON WAND WHICH IS NOT REALLY A TOY.
2. Tin foil balls that my Person makes for me
3. My Person's VISHUS HANDS WHICH ARE NOT REALLY TOYS BUT VISHUS.
4. The VISHUS DANGLIES WHICH ARE VISHUS LIKE THIS ONE:

H. Four nicknames people call me
1. Kissy-met
2. "just a big guy"
3. Mitters
4. Little bobcat

I. Regarding catnip
Love it
It's nice
Could take it or leave it
Don't like it or can't have it

J. Regarding cat grass
Love it
It's nice
Could take it or leave it
Don't like it or can't have it

K. First things I buy after winning the lottery
1. Many shirts.
2. Some delishus FOODS!
3. A heated cat bed
4. I would bribe my Person to please NEVER GIVE ME A PAWDICURE EVER AGAIN MRAW

L. Four things I do besides eat sleep and litter box
1. Watch the cat teevee.
2. Wrestle with Sophie.
3. Attack the vishus danglies.
4. Go on my patrols to keep everyone safe which my Person does not really appreciate but I do it anyway because I AM A GOOD CAT.

M. Four things I want to do this summer
1. Hopefully not be so HOTS all the time like I was last summer.
2. Eat some FOODS!
3. Humps
4. Sleep with my big feets crossed

N. My four most prized possessions that have limited value to anyone else
1. My Person!
2. My gray sweatshirt.
3. My yellow cat grass planter from my Person's person's person!
4. My big man paws and whisker humps.

O. What I am going to do before tomorrow
1. Clean my very big toes.
2. Give Sophie a bath.
3. Do my patrols.
4. Hump and sleep.

P.Which of the following is your favorite place to hide and play
paper bags
plastic bags
boxes
Other (explain)
I like to sit my booty on plastic bags but I don't like to hide in them. I don't really hide very much, but I like the cat tent sometimes.

Q. Four other pets that Mommy has had with me
Just Sophie!

Thanks for all of the comments and emails wondering where I was. Everything is ok and I am going to try to blog more now!!

Man Cat Monday

2007-02-12T07:49:00.000-05:00

Here is my Man Cat Monday pic for this week. In this one I am sucking on my fur to make sure it gets very clean. Keeping clean is VERY important, which is another reason why certain small orange cats could never be big man cats.

This weekend a man came over to fix the cat teevees. They have been on the fritz lately, because some rocks got stuck inside them and were ruining the picture. Anyway, I was wearing my gray sweatshirt, and I walked around with him in case he needed any help, and he said that he really liked my sweatshirt and that I was a very big boy. Helping man persons fix teevees is also a very manly thing to do, espeshully when they notice how big you are. I think my walking around with him really helped because now all the cat teevees are working great!

Let me know if you are being a man cat today!

How I spent my Friday

2007-02-10T16:20:00.000-05:00

My Person got Sophie a gray sweatshirt just like mine. (I think it looks better on me though.) And then we sat on the people teevee for awhile and I tried to teach Sophie how to work the camera. I am thinking maybe it is something that can't be taught.
Then I did some reading. It is important to keep up with current affairs, espeshully what is going on with other big guys and famous ladies.
And then this morning I blew chunks and me and Sophie ate it together.

Man Cat Monday

2007-02-05T07:59:00.000-05:00

For Man Cat Monday this week I decided to post pictures of me camping out in my tent. Camping out is a very manly thing to do because you never know what kind of vishus things you are going to encounter when you are out in the wild. In my case, out in the wild means the corner by the persons TV. It is the wild because the eff trayn is very loud out here, and there are many things hiding under the persons TV, and lots of dust balls that could really actually be mices or very small other cats DISGYZING THEMSELVES as dust balls.

I have my sleeping bag in my tent too, and as you can see, I am wearing my gray sweatshirt in case it gets cold. You can never tell with camping! And as you can also see, my whisker humps are very big even when I am camping. They do not really change size.

Leave me a comment if you are participating in Man Cat Monday so I can come check out your picture!

Cat box woes

2007-02-01T19:26:00.000-05:00

I have made an interesting observayshun today. Who does this remind you of?

Do you think Sophie is FAMOUS???? This is what I thought at first. That I was living with a silebritee. But then I realized that if Sophie was famous for being on the bag of cat box stuff, she would probably be better at the cat box stuff. Like, she would probably actually remember to cover her poops, and she would not run around with them stuck to her booty. And she DEFINITELY WOULD NOT DO THINGS LIKE THIS TO MY LITTER BOX:
You can tell it is MY cat box, because it's blue. Because I am a MAN cat. Sophie's cat box is pink, because she is a GIRL cat. As you can see, I am very disgusted in this picture. I am looking at my cat box with shame and sadness. And next to me, Sophie does not even look ashamed! And my Person did not even seem to MIND, she just said "Expressing ourselves kreeaytively, huh guys?" AS IF I HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS!! I am a big guy and I obveeisslee know how to cover my poops and not get them all over the entire world.
Here is a closer up picture of the mess:
So if you are ever looking at the bag of cat box stuff and are thinking that the cat on there is my sister Sophie, THINK. AGAIN.

EDIT: Okay my Person read my post and she said that if I am going to blog about Sophie being bad at the cat box then I had to edit it to tell everyone that I pooped on the chair today. And I DID but only because the cat box OBVEEISSLEE NEEDED TO BE CLEANED and so did the wall and I am sorry and I really love my Person but she is not the greatest ever at cleaning the cat box. So yes. I pooped on the chair. However I did NOT PEE ON IT OR THE COUCH (the one I pee on sometimes), and after I did it the cat boxes magically got cleaned. And so did the wall. I rest my poop.

The chunks

2007-01-30T18:07:00.000-05:00

There were some unforchewnit things happening this morning. I was SO EXCITED about my foods that I blew them as chunks....and then I ate them (the foods that I already ate)...and then I blew them as chunks AGAIN.

THAT HAS NEVER EVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE IN MY WHOLE LIFE EVER.

I was VERY embarrassed. What kind of big man cat can't handle his foods to the point where he blows them as chunks TWICE??? So I made a sad try at eating them a THIRD time, and then became very disgusted and walked away. What's worse is that my Person was watching ALL OF THIS and so I figured now she probably thinks I am a wimp too.

BUT THEN Sophie saw how grouchy I was, and she told me that I should go in my Person's room (where we attack the vishus danglees), and that everything would be fine in a few minutes. And then she went and ate all those foods for me!! All the foods that I had already eaten and thrown back up. I thought that was REAL nice of her. Real sisterly. She drives me nuts sometimes, but other times she is pretty ok. Plus, the fact that she can eat foods that are already eaten just proves that I have been teaching her REAL well. Before you know it, she will be humping like a pro!

So this is me, happy after the eatings of all the chunks. I am wearing a sweatshirt and sitting my booty on a box:

I like this picture because even though I have just had some non-man-cat behavior, I am still looking like a big man cat. I am very tall, and my whiskers are long and my whisker humps are still big, and so are my feets!

I hope all of your Tuesdays were less chunky than mine.

Man Cat Monday

2007-01-29T08:04:00.000-05:00

I am quite smily in this picture. I am sitting on the couch (the one I pee on sometimes), and it was very warm and cozy in the 'partment. Part of being a big man cat is knowing how to pose for pictures. Sometimes you have to look feerce, and sometimes it's ok to smile. This is also a good man cat picture because you can see my big whisker humps, the hair inside of my ears (my Person cuts it sometimes because she says it makes me look like an old man, but I think having hair in weird places just makes me more of a MAN CAT!), and you can also see one of my very big feets curled under me on the couch (the one I pee on sometimes). These are all VERY important man cat elemints!

If you are going to participate in Man Cat Monday, leave me a comment so I can come check it out!

Thursday Thirteen

2007-01-25T19:15:00.000-05:00

There have been lots of comments from cats wondering if they can participate in Man Cat Monday. I think everybody who thinks he might be a big man cat or WANTS to be a big man cat should definitely put up a picture on Man Cat Monday! If you want, I will come to your blog and let you know if I think you are lookin' like a big man cat. Just leave me a comment on Man Cat Monday and I will do it! And I am real glad that everyone is so excited about it too.

Today is Thursday, and I tried real hard to think of a fun Thursday day, but I couldn't. So instead I am going to do a Thursday Thirteen. I am going to write thirteen things about my sister Sophie, because there has been some interest in that. But remember, this is MY blog!!! Sophie might blog someday but for now she is real busy running around and making messes.

So, here we go - 13 things about Stinky Sophie!
1.) Sophie is real little. She only weighs six pounds, which is less than HALF of what I weigh.
2.) Even though she is little, she is TOUGH. She lived on the streets just like me!
3.) All of her feets are white, and so is her chest and her belly. She is kind of a tuxedo cat, like Rocky, except a weird orange tuxedo.
4.) Her paw pads are all pink. Here is a picture of back feets:
5.) As you can see from the picture, Sophie is not very good at litter box things. She always has litter on her feets. And sometimes poop on her booty.
6.) She will eat ANYTHING. Even gross stuff like spinnich. My and my Person's friends, like Liz and Melissa, think this is because Sophie lived on the streets. But hello, so did I, and I do not eat those GROSS FOODS!
7.) She has learned some of my most important habits, like throwing things off the dresser and attacking the vishus dangly things that sometimes attack my Person's neck. My Person does not seem to be happy that I have taught Sophie these things, but it helps a lot to have someone else helping me with my patrols.
8.) She LOVES to play with cat toys. I myself have never been much for toys, except for the occasional vishus ribbon wand, but Sophie will play with all of them.
9.) Her purrer is REAL loud.
10.) She does not hump.
11.) She also does not really have any whisker humps.
12.) Sophie does not mind pawdicures. She will sit real still and let my Person give her all the pawdicures in the world. I am working on teaching her that pawdicures ARE BAD, but maybe I should just let my Person give her the pawdicures for both of us instead.
13.) She is pretty good at wrestling. But I always win. Because after all, I am the big man cat!

Man Cat Monday

2007-01-22T19:29:00.000-05:00

I have decided to start my own blog day-of-the-week: Man Cat Monday. Us big man cats are very under-represented in the blog world. So any other man cats out there, feel free to participate!!
This is an old picture of me. As you can see, I am keeping the apartment safe for my Person by battling the vishus ribbon. (That's a very important part of being a big man cat.) In this picture it looks like the vishus ribbon is winning, but clearly I lived to battle another day, and the vishus ribbon has never been heard from again. This particular breed of vishus ribbon was actually ATTACHED TO ONE OF MY PERSON'S SHIRTS and I detached it myself with my very big paws. She could have been killed! Of course, like normal, my Person did not seem to realize the danger she was in and instead just took pictures and laughed at me while I waged my battle. It is hard to be me sometimes.

Stinky sister

2007-01-14T21:56:00.000-05:00

I think that Skeezix has a new challenger for the title of stinkiest cat in the world: my sister Sophie. I am not sure why but Sophie seems to have a problem with passing very stinky gas from her booty very frequently. At first I was very confused because we eat the same foods -- from the exact same BOWL even most of the time -- but then I remembered that Sophie is always very busy eating any persons food she can get her paws on, including tortillas, rice kayks, peetas, and krusts from peetsuh. I know I am spelling some of these things wrong but who cares because they are all GROSS AND NOT THINGS THAT CATS SHOULD BE EATING AND THAT IS PROBABLY WHY SOPHIE'S BOOTY STINKS ALL OF THE TIME. It is very undignified to be stinking of smelly gas all the time. My Person has noticed it too because she sings a song to Sophie about a smelly cat. And I have to share a litter box with this cat. I mean honestly, cats.

Here is a picture of us laying together. This was not during a very stinky moment or you can believe I would not have been sitting that close to her.

As you can see, we are right next to the computer. I am thinking about teaching Sophie to blog, but she is awful bad at typing so I think it would take hours of lessons, and if she is going to be stinking all the time, I'm not sure I can put in that kind of time.

Keeping busy

2007-01-10T20:53:00.000-05:00

One of the best things about having a new sister is that when my Person goes to see her friend Jahb, Sophie will help me do stuff all day. Some of that stuff is good, like hanging out in box forts:

Here I am beatboxing for Sophie. While we are in a box.

Sophie really likes it when I beatbox.

But SOME of the things we do are naughty. Like today while my Person was visiting Jahb, I went under the sink. Now I do this a lot because under the sink is where my Person keeps all the plastic bags that I like to sit my booty on. They are all under there in a big skwishy pile, and I like to lay in them because it is very cozy. It also smells like foods under there sometimes but I could never figure out why until today, when Sophie came under the sink with me and dove STRAIGHT INTO THE PLASTIC BIN. The plastic bin is where my Person puts the plastic bags, one at a time, and fills them up with things she does not want. But when Sophie dove in there, DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? The plastic bin TIPPED OVER and the wooden box door FLEW OPEN and THINGS SPILLED OUT and THOSE THINGS INCLUDED EMPTY CANS OF FOODS!!!!! (My Person must put them there when she is done giving us the foods, but I never noticed this because once the foods are on the floor, I am all about the foods.) As I have said before, my Person is REAL good about getting all of the Friskies grayvee out of the can, but there were some little foods tidbits in those cans, and Sophie and me just LICKED those cans a LOT! And then Sophie chewed on some paper, because she will eat anything in the whole entire world including something called hummus, which is slimy and gross. Anyway, Sophie and me were real excited about this discovery, and my Person seemed real happy too!! She always comes in saying "hi, guys!" real happy-like, and she did that today too, but when she saw the plastic bin all tipped over she said "wow, guys, that is a great surprise to come home to. I am really excited about cleaning that up." !!!! So maybe it wasn't as naughty as I thought.

Also Sophie has had her first shirt!!!!!

I think we can all agree that she has MY fashion sense.

Also, I blew chunks today. Just the one time though.

Hanging out

2007-01-03T17:58:00.000-05:00

Lately I have been hanging out a lot with Sophie. She is REAL crazy and hyper, and she follows me around a lot because she wants to be just like me. A few of my friends on the innernets have told me that they want to be like me, too, but I have never had THIS kind of admirayshun before. Here is some pics of us watching the cat teevee together. I start watching it first, and then she comes and sits with me and watches it too. She is real young so she doesn't know what all is going on on the cat teevee, so I try to explain things to her, like the hairy Tommy who is always on.

I am also getting lots better at sharing my Person. It helps that Sophie is also real good at sharing. Like at night time, when it is time for all of us to go to bed, Sophie stays down by my Person's feets until I am done humping and am all settled in, and ONLY THEN does she come up and find a spot to get comfy. That is real important and good of her. Sometimes she eats my foods, but then I just go to her dish and eat HER foods, so that works out okay. I am also trying to` 23 (that was Sophie trying to help me blog) teach her that although foods are very delicious and we love them, we are DISCRIMINAYTING in the foods that we eat. Now I, personally, will TRY most all foods if they are offered to me, but that does not mean that I walk all over persons and eat their foods without permission, and to be honest most of my Person's food is not very good. Sophie, on the other paw, will climb all over persons who are eating ANYTHING and she will eat it all. Including something called rice kayks, which I will not even touch with one toe, because they are so gross. So as you can see, I am trying to be a real good big bruther.

Here is one more pic of Sophie:
This is probably her begging for rice kayks or something equally unapeeling. Anyway, I hope all of my friends on the innernets are having a good week, and thank you guys a LOT for all the GREAT comments on my last blog with my boodwah picture. I was a little nervous about posting it but I did secretly think that I pulled it off, and you guys made me feel GREAT about it! Espeshully all you lady cats. You know who you are. Mraw.

Boodwah

2006-12-30T19:20:00.000-05:00

Here are my boodwah pictures in Skeezix's pink satin robe. I am very sorry that it took FOREVER but my Person was in Whiskonsin and then the camera that I never peed on even once had to FINALLY get fixed for good. So without further adoo, here we go:

Dashing, even in pink satin.

With the neck open and a bad boy stare, for the ladiez.

Modest.

I hope you all enjoy the photos and that they give some of you urges. Also, here is my sister Sophie's reaction to me in the robe:

"What is he WEARING???...That would match my socks!!"

Sister stuff again

2006-12-12T17:57:00.000-05:00

Innernets, I am so bad at blogging. I have been waiting and waiting for the camera to be fixed, and then my Person told me that it came back but it WASN'T fixed, and that the man at Best By (and what is Best By??? Is it a place where they decide when things expire, like on the foods it sometimes says Best By 12/1, and that kind of makes sense because maybe they are trying to decide if the camera has EXPIRED) said that they have to send it in at least FOUR TIMES before they decide that it can't be fixed. I never noticed any balls on the camera but now I am thinking that it must have big ones because it only took me ONE try to be fixed, and I am a pretty big guy. Anyway, so we still have no camera, and I just want to remind everyone that I never peed on it EVEN ONCE, and so I still have no pictures of my sister and me.

BUT I want to let everyone know that things with my sister are a LOT better. She is REALLY little and so you would think that she would be scared of me, because I am a big dude, but she is not scared at all. She lived on the streets like me, so she is pretty tough even though she doesn't look it because she is really busy being tiny. I like to play with her a LOT - we run around all night long while my Person is sleeping -- but then sometimes she drives me nuts. I mean, I am four, I got THINGS to do, I can't just PLAY all day -- I gotta clean my toes, I gotta nap on the cable box, I gotta blow chunks -- but most of the time she is pretty okay. At night when my Person sits on the couch -- the one I pee on sometimes -- and types on the computer, me and Sophie curl up next to her and sometimes we hold paws and sometimes I give her a bath, because she is not very good at bathing herself, and I like things to be clean, so I think that's the nice thing to do. Also, she REALLY loves the foods, just like me! It is nice to have someone else down by my Person's feets, mraw mrawing. Even though Sophie's mraw mrawing just kind of sounds like skweeking.

Anyway, so things are better, and I am REAL EXCITED to take my boodwah photo in a pink satin robe for charity!!!! (If you are not sure what I am talking about, and you are thinking, "Kismet, you are a big man cat, and you have a Hugh Hefner robe, and you should not run around in pink satin", go here and check it out! And donate some money, because it is all for a real good cause -- other cats and persons who need money for their VET bills, and for Kittykind, which is where I met my Person and Kara, whose apartment I lived in before I met my Person.)

And also, I have to tell you that although I like my sister mostly, I am still not sure how I feel about sharing my Person. Cuz she is MY Person. But I am trying to be a good boy. And sometimes it is hard but I am doing mostly okay!

Sister stuff

2006-12-03T10:40:00.000-05:00

Things are getting a little bit better. My Person moved my sister into the room with the big white box and the person litter box, and every now and then she goes in there to play with her and then she comes out and I can smell my sister on her. At first that made me REAL mad and I would hiss and growl -- because HEY, LITTLE CAT, THAT IS MY PERSON -- but now whenever my Person comes out, she comes right over to me and pets me a lot and when I don't hiss she smooches me and tells me what a good boy I am and how proud of me she is. I like to make my Person happy so I am trying real hard to not hiss and growl so much but it's HARD!!

Sometimes when my Person goes in to play with my sister she leaves the door open. And she will sit down and have my sister on her lap, and then I go in and sniff around. I have done this twice now, and I only hissed once. I THINK THAT IS PRETTY GOOD INNERNETS.

It helps to have Mona around, too, because Mona is really good with new cats. There is a big crate in the corner of the living room, and when my Person is hanging out in there she moves my sister into the crate so I can see her and smell her and my Person can keep an eye on us. And even though when I go over there I mostly want to hiss, Mona just goes right up to the crate and pokes her nose through, and she and my sister ACTUALLY TOUCH NOSES. I am not ready for that yet, but Mona says it is okay and that I should not be so scared and mad. So I am trying just REAL hard to be a nice big man cat. Because I trust my Person AND I trust Mona.

I really appreciate all the advice you guys have left me and I know my Person does too (she is not so nervous now). It makes me feel a LOT better that a lot of you guys have gone through this and survived, and some of you actually LOVE your sisters!! I hope someday I can play with mine. She hasn't hissed at me at all since the first night, so I think she wants to play someday too.

And, my Person says to tell you that my sister's name is Sophie. And that we can't post any pictures because the STUPID CAMERA IS STILL BROKEN AND I DID NOT EVEN PEE ON IT EVER. And I also want you to know that I have not peed on the couch or anywhere I am not supposed to even though I have been pretty MAD, and I think this makes me a very good boy. What do you guys think?? It seems better now, right?

Sisters SUCK

2006-12-02T10:09:00.000-05:00

My sister is here. I PRETTY MUCH HATE HER. She is in this big crate thing in the corner of the apartment, and she is very tiny, and every now and then I make sure to go over and hiss at her. My Person took her out once and brought her over to me, and I hissed real good and growled real loud too. This is MY apartment, lady cat! You can't just roll up in here without some trouble!

My Person is REAL worried about this, and I can tell, and I feel bad about that, but I CAN'T HELP IT IS MY TURF. Occasionally I have made sure to hiss and growl at my Person too, just so she remembers I'm boss and she shouldn't be bringing other cats in here without asking me.

Any advice, cats? How do I get rid of her? What do I do??

WELL

2006-11-30T18:02:00.000-05:00

THE OVERWHELMING RESPONSE TO MY LAST POST IS THAT I AM GOING TO BE LIVING WITH ANOTHER CAT SOON!!!!

The excepshuns were Mao, who thinks I'm getting voted out of my apartment by Mona and my Person. Okay this is obveeisslee not happening!!! First of all, let me make it very clear, I am my Person's ONLY CAT. She doesn't even LIKE Mona that much. Plus she just got something in the mail and she let me play with the box so this is just not happening OKAY THANKS.

Rosie and Cheeto thought that maybe I am going to get to be on the Big Bruther show, with other types of animals, like fishes or chiwahwahs. Now, this would not be so bad! Maybe I would see some of the chiwahwahs that I used to run with on the mean streets! But although this is a good theory, it does not explain the pink litter box.

So THEN Skeezix said maybe HE is coming to live with me!! How great would that be!! We could nap on top of the persons teevee, and then I could teach him about the ladies. But even though that would be fun, and would explain BOTH the Big Bruther shirt AND the pink box, I don't think this could be true, because I think the Food Lady would have told him about it. Or Mao. Plus they like him a lot.

So...I think MAYBE you guys are right. If I think about it, there has been some talk of a little sister lately. I....am not sure how I feel about this, innernets. I have been my Person's only cat for a VERY LONG TIME and I have never had to share her with any other cats, and I don't know how it's going to be. And who IS this cat??? Did she come from Kara's like I did? Does she have problems with her pee??? DOES SHE WEAR SHIRTS???

What do you guys think??? (Except for you, MAO, unless you have something USEFUL to say. MRAW.)

I am back!

2006-11-29T20:57:00.000-05:00

I am back, innernets! Unfortunately, the camera is not. My Person says that it is going to take some busyness days before it will be better. I tried to tell her that I am real busy EVERY day, what with the cleaning of my toes and surfing the innernets, but she said that isn't what she meant. So sorry, innernets -- no new pics! To tide you over again, here's another old one of me:

This is right after I opened my Halloween fun pack from Skeezix. I was overwhelmed with stuff to look at!

My Thanksgiving was good. My Person was gone, in Whiskonsin, but my very good friend Melissa came over to give me my foods. A couple of times she brought her Hozay. Her Hozay is a guy and he would come over and play with me and Mona while Melissa got the foods ready. He would rub on my belly a lot and he would not get mad when I would have to attack his very vishus hands, which I like. I think maybe I should get a Hozay of my own. He also told Melissa, "This cat has HUGE PAWS." And she said, "You don't even know!" It's true. I have the big feets.

My Person is back now, though, and I have to tell you that STRANGE THINGS have been apaw in the apartment lately. Like tonight my Person brought home another litter box. It is EXACTLY the same as mine...but it's PINK. This is my litter box:

Okay but MY litter box is fine. There is nothing wrong with it. I don't need a new one. And if I did, I obveeisslee wouldn't want one that is PINK (sorry, Skeez). So what is going on??? And then the other day I accidentally overheard my Person on the phone with our very good friend Liz, and apparently Liz is getting me a shirt for Krismiss that says "Big Bruther" on it. I did some research online and found out that Big Bruther is a person TV show where persons get voted out of a house by the Big Bruther. Am I supposed to be voting persons out of the apartment? Because there are only two, and I'm not gonna vote out my Person, so I don't think this would be a very good show.

I'm pretty confused. Do you guys have any ideas???

Hyaytus

2006-11-18T10:48:00.000-05:00

Well. I have not posted in awhile. And I am probably not going to be able to post for an even longer awhile, for some reasons including my Person's camera is broken (I did not pee on it), and then the computer battery died so I can't use it unless it is plugged in, which is really hard for me because I always want to chew on that cord A LOT I THINK IT MIGHT BE VISHUS. But most importantly, my Person is going to Whiskonsin for Thanksgiving, and she is taking the computer with her, so I REALLY won't be able to blog.

So, since I am going to be gone for a long time and you might forget who I am, I am going to leave you with a list of things about mes, and one of my favorite pictures of me, and whenever you are thinking "Who is that big guy again?", you can just come check it out!

Here is a picture of my in my pajamas. It was definitely not nighttime, but I was wearing my pajamas anyway. I like this picture because my ears are glowing, and my eyes look very green. This was back when my Person didn't know that guy Jahb and was home all the time and we watched lots of TV and took naps. Those were the days!

Now, here are some important things about me, in case you forget:
1) I like to sit my booty on things on the floor, like magazeens and plastic bags.
2) I blow chunks a lot. And then sometimes I eat it again. I did this last week. I think it was the biggest batch of chunks ever, and I ate it twice!
3) I have very big feets, and I am careful to clean in between all 20 of my toes at least three times a day.

Also, my Person wrote a great Tale of Devoshun for me in Skeezix's latest contest. It's very Kismet-y. You should go read it!

I hope you all have really good Thanksgivings. My Person won't be here, but I'll hang out with Mona, and my very good person friend Melissa is going to come give me my foods, including Friskies turkey and giblets on Thanksgiving Day. I also hope you are watching the big Michigan feetsball game today. My Person can't stop talking about it. Try not to forget who I am, and I will be back soon!

This is Kismet, mrawing off.

To the vets!

2006-11-12T16:48:00.000-05:00

I never blogged about this, because the whole situation made me kind of MAD, but the other week I had to go to the VETS! I have not been to the vets since I have been with my Person, but I spent lots of time there before I came to live with her. When I was living in a cage at the pet store, the volunteer people took me there to have my ballectomy, and to get poked with sharp things WHICH I DO NOT LIKE BY THE WAY, and then I had to go there a bunch more times when I started having problems with my yurinerry trakt and my peeing. (That was all probably because they took away my balls. You can't mess too much with that area because then the pee gets mad and won't come out.)

Anyway, my Person says I HAVE to go to the vet once EVERY SINGLE YEAR even though I am peeing just fine now, and not even on the couch anymore, but then she said that maybe peeing on the bed is not a good way to show that I am fine with the peeing, and anyway so we went to the vets. I wore my gray sweatshirt and I got carried down the street in the plastic box that I was in when I first came to my Person's. It's a real big box, because I don't fit in the smaller ones. I made sure to mraw mraw a lot while we were walking there so that the persons we passed by would know I was in there in case they couldn't see me, and I also mraw'd while we were sitting in the waiting room, and my Person would stick her fingers through the box door and say "it's ok Kismet!" But I tend to not believe her when I am in the plastic box in strange places, AND THAT TURNED OUT TO BE RIGHT BECAUSE THINGS WERE ABOUT TO BE VERY VERY NOT OK.

When they took us into the examinayshun room, the vet lady dumped me out of the plastic box because I was not coming out by myself no way no how lady! To her credit, the vet lady did compliment my sweatshirt when I got dumped out of the box, but that didn't mean I was gonna be nice to her. There is a certain way that I like to be introduced to new persons - I like them to bend down, and give me their hand so I can give it a real good sniff, and then if they have a coat or a vest I like them to put that on the chair so I can dig inside it, and then I like to walk on their laps for awhile and continue to sniff. The vet lady did none of this. She just dumped me out of that box WITHOUT EVEN A SNIFF AT ALL and then my booty was on a very cold metal table. So I sat there and hissed real loud for a long time, and the vet lady kept saying "you have such great teeth pumpkin!" And she tried to touch me and I kept dodging her, and then she tried to hold me down to poke me with things, but I was HAVING NONE OF THAT, and I growled and hissed and she had to call in reinforcements because I'm so big and skwirmy. A real big dude came in and he HELD ME TO THE TABLE AND LET ME TELL YOU I JUST SCREAMED FOR ALL I WAS WORTH. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my Person covering her ears and her eyes. THAT IS HOW LOUD I WAS SCREAMING. I EVEN HURT HER EYES. And they poked me a lot with sharp things which as I mentioned I DONT LIKE VERY MUCH. And then FINALLY they brought the plastic box back and I went back inside it and hissed some more. And then my Person said, "do you have any treats for him?" because she knows I like the foods. And then they gave me some treats, but I did NOT EAT THOSE BECAUSE THEY COULD HAVE BEEN POISONED.

And then I got carried back down the street in the plastic box, and my Person let me out when we got back in the apartment, and I hid in the closet for awhile.

Then my Person cleaned my cat box and as soon as she did that I had to pee, you know, because as soon as the cat box is clean you always have to pee or poop right away, and when I was done peeing she took some of my pee in a plastic tube and took it away. And then a few days later she told me that my pee aytch is normal. I didn't know that my pee had an aytch, but I guess it's good that it's normal. And I don't know how long a year is, but it better be a long time, because I do not want to go back to the vet lady anytime soon.

My very first Thursday Thirteen

2006-11-09T09:47:00.000-05:00

Thirteen of my most Favorite Things to Do


1. Eat the foods, espeshully my Purina Yurinerry Trakt Health Dry Food
     2. Clean in between my very big toes
     3. Take very long and important naps on top of the persons teevee
     4. Sit my booty on things, like plastic bags or magazeens
     5. Walk/lay/sit on the computer, whether it is opened or closed
     6. Try to open the wooden boxes in the kitchen to make sure there are no other cats or foods or mices hiding in there
     7. Talk to my Person
     8. Sit on the side of the big white box where my Person pours water on herself, and grab her leg sometimes, and make sure everything is okay in there, and sometimes I sing along with her if she is singing in there, although why she is singing in there I don't understand because HELLO THERE IS WATER IN THERE AND STOP SINGING AND GET OUT AND BY THE WAY I AM PROBABLY HUNGRY RIGHT NOW AND ALSO VERY BIG
     9. Wrestle with Mona
     10. Watch the feetsball with my Person
     11. Clean up the apartment by sweeping the floor with my very big paws. I also do this to Mona's litterbox. She is very bad at litter box maintenance.
     12. Mraw mraw mraw.  A lot.  That is why my blogger link is kismetmrawmraw.  Because I am Kismet.  And I mraw mraw.
     13. Knock things off of the dresser, like the vishus dangly things that attach themselfs to my Person's ears and neck and wrist and fingers. THEY ARE VISHUS AND MUST BE STOPPED and my Person does not understand this and so she gets mad sometimes but it is WORTH IT because I am PROTECTING HER!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. Skeezix

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday.

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Halloween!

2006-11-01T20:18:00.000-05:00

I know I am late writing about Halloween, but there has been lots going on, like the other day I peed on my Person's bed for no reason as far as I can remember, and then I went crazy and chewed holes in some of my shirts, and all sorts of other things! So here is what has been going on.

Last week sometime, my very good friend Melissa came over to help my Person make her Halloween costume (she went as a Chia Pet. Do you know what this is??? I googled it. It is very hairy and green:)

and Melissa brought with her a birthday present for ME!!

In case you can't read it, it says "sup ladies". !!! It is basically the best man cat t-shirt ever, and I really like the color, too, because I don't have any shirts that are bright blue like that, except for my polo shirt, and that doesn't count because it has a collar. I was SO excited when I saw it because now I don't even have to SAY anything to the ladies when they are nearby -- they will just see it on my shirt, which will allow me to maintain my air of mystery while also letting them know that, hey -- I dig you.

Anyway, so then I got down to work helping Melissa and my Person make her costume.
As you can see, my Person made her costume out of this green stuff, and in this picture, I am carefully eyeing my Person to make sure that we cut the right amount. I was also careful to make sure that the green stuff was acceptable, so the first thing I did was sit my booty on it to make sure it was comfy. And it was! I wanted to just keep sitting on it, but my Person needed to cut it and stuff, so I had to move. Then she used this very sharp thing and put STRING IN IT to attach the green stuff together, and I just about went crazy, because the string was flashing back and forth and I just wanted to KILL IT MRAW and so I got kicked out of the costume making for awhile. But when my Person tried it on I made sure to tell her she looked real nice and green and stuff. And my help paid off, because when it was all done, I think it turned out ok:
After my Person's costume was done, Mona and I tore into my prize pack for winning 3rd place in Skeezix's Halloween costume contest! I wanted to open it nice and slow, but Mona is a huge stona, and she pushed me out of the way and stole all my nip. Here we are, digging in:

I mean look at her. She is chewing through the bag to get to the nip. That is sign number one of a problem, cats!!

Anyway, so I hope you all had GREAT Halloweens, and that if you have peed on anything lately, you at least remember why.

Feetsball part 2

2006-10-29T12:40:00.000-05:00

My Person went to Dal-less a few weeks ago. We all know how I feel about my Person leaving, but she was not gone for too long and she was going to visit one of my most favorite persons, Liz, so I was MOSTLY okay with it. I am not sure what a Dal is, or why my Person needed to go to a place where there are no Dals (maybe it is another word for the eff trayn), but since Liz lives there, it is probably nice. Anyway, when my Person came back, she brought me a present from Liz!
It is a feetsball jersey! It is not Michigan, which is my Person's team, but it is a team that is near Dal-less. So now I can PLAY feetsball instead of just WATCHING it! I don't have the capri pants that the boy persons wear when they play feetsball, or the hat, but I think I would be pretty good at it anyway. I have very big paws and I think I would be able to catch a feetsball in between them.
Here is the back of my jersey:
I am not sure what a longhorn is. I think maybe it is another word for tail, because my tail is kind of shaped like a horn, and it is very long. Liz obveeisslee thinks that I would be good at feetsball too, because she picked #1 for me! I am hoping to get a team together soon. Mona is going to be my tackle dummy, because she is skwishy and likes to tackle. I will report from training camp soon.

Hoods

2006-10-26T08:19:00.000-04:00

Hooded sweatshirts can be tricky.

I got 3rd place!!!!

2006-10-18T15:00:00.000-04:00

I'm so excited because I placed THIRD in Skeezix's halloween costoom contest!!!. If you look, you will notice that the 2nd place winner is a little dish named Tiggy, who dressed up as a Playboy bunny after being inspired by my Hugh Hefner robe (that I got from Skeezix!!!). It was a really great contest.

In case you missed it, here I am in my costoom:

My Person and I took several varyayshuns of this photo before we decided on this one. Here is another one:

I need to thank my Person for helping me take such great photos. It was my idea to try different backgrounds, and she didn't really like carting me and my Elvis pumpkin around. She also didn't like the haunted house. I think she was scared, which is dumb, because hello, you have a big man cat here to protect you.

Anyway, thanks a LOT to everyone who voted for me!! And if any of you happen to be lady cats, I will be more than happy to share my Halloween bag with you. Mraw.

I am okay!

2006-10-16T19:27:00.000-04:00

Just a quick post to say thank you for all of the emails and comments wondering where I have been and if I am okay. I AM okay! I am very busy getting ready for Halloween, and playing with my birthday presents, and getting ready for cold weather. Here is a picture of me in my layered look for fall: I like this picture a lot (if you make it bigger, you can REALLY see my big whisker humps). The down vest was a birthday present from my friend Ted, and the gray sweatshirt is the first shirt my Person EVER bought for me. This is a very good look for fall, cats. The gray sweatshirt is a wardrobe staple, and the vest adds that extra bit of warmth AND stylishness. I have tested the outfit in all the major activities in my day: sitting on top of plastic bags, napping, cleaning my toes, and of course, eating the foods -- it works in all of them! I have also been very busy blowing chunks. When it gets colder, I get even more excited about my foods than normal. I must work on this! Anyway, I promise to be better about blogging in the future. I have missed all of my friends. ESPESHULLY YOU LADY CATS. You know who you are. Mraw.

Here's another pic just for you:
That's my bad boy look. I hope you enjoy.

It's my birthday!!!

2006-10-03T20:25:00.000-04:00

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY I AM FOUR YEARS OLD AND I AM VERY BIG!!!!!!

I have had a REALLY GREAT birthday. It did not start off so good because early this morning I got REALLY HUNGRY and so I mraw mraw'd a lot and threw some things off the dresser and played with some other things that I was not supposed to (my Person wears many vishus dangly things around her neck and in her ears and at night they leave her alone and they sleep on the dresser and I ATTACK THEM! And she does not like this even though I am all mraw MRAW PERSON THEY ARE VERY VISHUS), and so I got locked out of the room. But my Person felt bad when she did it. I know this, cuz she said "Birthday boy I'm SO sorry but you are DRIVING ME NUTS!" and then she smooched me before she tossed me out. I pouted for awhile. However, it should be noted that I did NOT pee on the couch.

Anyway, when my Person got up she gave me my present!!! Of course, she already gave me the great big cat bed, and Skeezix already got me my AWESOME robe, so I was not really expecting a whole lot more. But THEN my Person pulled out THIS!

(Please excuse that expression on my face. I was hungry. I am usually hungry. And also, peeved about being locked out of the room. And also, maybe high.) IT IS A CORDUROY AND FLEECE VEST!!! It is PERFECT for the not hots that we are having right now, and I also think it is very manly. It makes me look like I am getting ready to go hunt. (Hunt some vishus dangly things that attack my Person during the daytime, maybe.)
Here is another picture. You can see here that my new vest has two pouches near my booty. They are small -- just the right size for sneaking some nip outside, or keeping a few morsels of crunchy dry food! And, as you can tell, it can be worn with the collar down OR up. It is very cozy. I like it a lot!

After she gave me my vest, my Person had to leave to go see Jahb, her very good friend that she spends time with every single day. (Jahb lives Out There and I have never met him.) I spent the day doing all of my favorite things! First, I took a nap on top of the persons teevee.
You can tell it was a REALLY good nap because my big feets are crossed, which I only do when I am at my most VERY comfortable. Then, I sat on some papers on the floor (because I LOVE to sit on things), and I chased some of my toys around, and I sniffed some nip!! And THEN after ALL of that, when I finally got back on the innernets, I was so excited because SO MANY of my friends stopped by my blog to say happy birthday. And Skeezix posted an entire happy birthday blog to me and said some VERY nice things. AND my friend Melissa sent me a card in my email!!!! AND THEN (oh yes, there is MORE!) my Person came home and brought me the most DELICIOUS DINNER.
It is suhlahmee and turkey. FROM THE DELI!!! (That means it is REALLY fresh. My Person went to the deli and told them it was my birthday and they gave her all this meats!!!!) I ate almost two entire bowls of it. And then I blew chunks because I was so excited that I forgot to chew. But it's ok because there is a whole other bowl waiting for me when I am recovered from the blowing of the chunks.
So, as you can see, I had a GREAT birthday! And, I have also been with my Person for one year today, so it was a DOUBLY important day!! Thank you very much to all of my friends on the innernets who took time to say happy birthday. It means a lot to this big man cat!

ANOTHER BIRTHDAY PRESENT

2006-09-28T19:37:00.000-04:00

Awhile ago I posted about this very nice Hugh Hefner robe that I REALLY wanted for my birthday. Well my best friend on the innernets, Skeezix, sent me a gift certificate so that I could buy it!!! Can you BELIEVE IT??? And it came in the mail TODAY!!!

So, what do you think???

Here I am, putting my best paw forward.

Here I am, experimenting with my "tough cat" face. You can kind of see my kitty manhood in this pic. I'm sorry. One of the things I REALLY like about this robe -- besides the fact that it is SO SOFT AND COMFY -- is that it lets a little bit of my chest hair poke out. Very important for a man cat.

Here is a view of the back. In this picture you can really see how soft my robe is. This is my "come over here, pretty cat lady" look.

And, this is me looking very thoughtful. If I was on a cat dating site, I think this would be the picture I would put on my profile. I feel it conveys a certain..."hello ladies. I am very nice, and in a robe. Want to come over?"

And then I settled in on my new big cat bed and tried to look reegul.

I REALLY love my robe. And just to give you an idea of exactly how big I am, my Person got me the medium size. On the package it came in, it says the medium is good for big dogs, like cocker spaniels and corgis. And it fits me perfectly.

THANK YOU, SKEEZIX!!! You are the best friend in the entire world and innernets.

In other news, my Person has stripped her throat. She has been staying home a lot the past week or so and I didn't know why, I just sensed that I should stay very close to her and that we should take lots of naps. But today she came home early and was on the phone with Bonnie, her person, from Whiskonsin, and said she has a stripped throat. What does this MEAN?? I googled it, but all I found were pictures of cheerleaders who had been stripped of deep throat. What does THAT mean?? Throats are confusing, espeshully stripped ones. My throat is not stripped. It is furry and white. And my Person's throat has never been furry, and it doesn't LOOK anymore stripped than normal. I will just keep a close watch on her. It will be easy to take naps with her now that I have this great comfy robe!

Feetsball

2006-09-24T20:40:00.000-04:00

On the weekends my Person and I watch feetsball. Feetsball is a game where boy persons wear colored capri pants and round hats and run around a big back yard with a pig skin. A pig skin sounds like it would be big and pink and floppy and delishus, but in fact it is small and brown and shaped like an eyeball. Anyway, there are different feetsball teams from different places. Since my Person went to school in Michigan, that is who we cheer for.

One of my best person friends, Liz, gave me a Michigan shirt awhile ago. I wear it while we watch the games:
Feetsball is very important and my Person yells at the person teevee and jumps around a lot and gets very worked up when we watch it, so I try to be the calm one. Here I am, sitting on top of the teevee, trying to send the team good vibes.

My Person thinks I must be a good luck charm, because Michigan won this weekend! Feetsball is kind of confusing, but my Person says there are a lot more games to come, so hopefully I will understand it more and more each time.

Early birthday present??

2006-09-22T10:27:00.000-04:00

A few days ago I was watching the cat teevee and my Person was on it! This happens sometimes, usually in the mornings or at night. She was downstairs talking to this guy who lives right next door to us. His name is Tommy. Tommy might be part cat, I think, because he is always outside with no shirt on, and he is VERY VERY furry. Sometimes I sit by the cat teevee and I talk to Tommy when he is on it, and sometimes he talks back. The cat teevee is a strange invenshun. Anyway, she was talking to Tommy about how there was this great chair down the street and would he please go get it for her. He was drinking some dark stuff out of a glass -- maybe it was Friskies grayvee -- and he seemed really happy (I would be too if I had a whole big glass of Friskies grayvee), and so he said he would go get it for my Person.

And THEN my Person came off the cat teevee and inside, and she was carrying the big chair! Except, I think she was just talking in code so that I wouldn't know it was really a birthday present for ME, because the big chair is obveeissly a big cat bed. For a big man cat. Like ME!

I was very excited, because I have never had my very own bed before. I do have a sleeping bag that I really like, and the pimp lair (my box), and I do like to sleep in my Person's bed and on top of the people teevee, but it is just special to have your VERY OWN BED!

So here I am, checking it out.
(Please note that I immediately put my Friend of Skeezix pin on the bed, to make sure everyone knows it is MINE!) My Person had put this blanket on top of my bed, another sign it was surely mine, because this is the blanket that I really like to hump on. It is very important to dig underneath blankets to make sure there are no other cats or foods or mices hanging out under there, and also to see if it is an appropriate place to make a blanket fort. My new bed passed all of these tests.

Then I checked out the bottom of my bed. The big basked part of it sits on top of this great fort! It is the perfect size for a big man cat like me, and has these great windows for me to see out of and ledges for me to lean on and check out all the happenings in my apartment, like the feets that walk by and the Monas that get high off of nip.

Then I made SURE my bed was comfy. As you can see, I am very smily and am even licking my lips because I am so happy in my bed!

Here is one more picture just so you can get an idea of how big my cat bed is. It is a big, huge, baskety cushion. Kind of like a big food bowl, only for man cats instead of food. You can also see my profile and my whisker humps here, and my FOS pin again. I am in my PJs in this picture, because that is what you wear when you go to bed.

You should all ask your persons for big cat beds too! Maybe there are some hanging around outside your houses, by your Tommys. You never know!

Secrets and birthdays

2006-09-19T17:45:00.000-04:00

Since I have come to live with my Person, I have not told her very much about my past. Some of it would make her sad -- for example, I wound up with her because somebody else abandoned me at the pet store -- and some of it she wouldn't believe (like before that, I was very well known on the streets for my man cat walk, and I ran with a gang of small chiwahwahs). Anyway, because of all of the mystery surrounding my past, my Person -- and me too! -- doesn't know exactly when my birthday is. So she decided to just celebrate it on the day I came to live with her, which was October 3.

Before I came to live with my Person and after I got left at that pet store, I stayed with this very nice lady named Kara. Kara had never had cats before, but she did a really good job with me. I don't know if Kara reads my blog, but if she does, I want to say thanks for taking such good care of me. And for really turning me on to modeling for a camera. I mean, that has really changed my life.

Like here is an action shot of me. I am twitching my ear in it, because sometimes it feels like there are things in my ears.
I look very tall in this picture, which is nice, I think. And if I hadn't lived with a fotogruffer like Kara, I might never know how to take pictures of myself or how to pose!

Anyway, I am going to be four, but I am not going to have a big birthday party like Skeezix did. I will probably just chill out with some nip and wrestle with Mona and hang out in my box (which I have named the pimp lair). But, I am hoping that my Person is going to get me a present. And in case any of you want to give her some ideas, this is what I really want!!

I MEAN JUST LOOK AT IT (and ignore that little dog. I did not roam the streets with him.) Is that the best thing EVER for a big man cat like myself???? It would be so great to put on my lounging robe and hang out in the pimp lair. And I think it would give me that playcat air, AND I think it would really make the lady cats want to come over and see what I'm all about.

I would also like some more shirts, and some new cozy blankets to make blanket forts out of. But even if I get nothing, it will be good to turn 4, and to know that I have been with my Person for one whole year!

And innernets - don't tell her about the chiwahwahs. I think then she might want to get one, and I don't want to share my shirts. OR my Person.

Skeezix's birthday!

2006-09-18T19:26:00.000-04:00

My best friend Skeezix turned two on Saturday and he threw a big party for all of his friends on the innernets. To help all of his friends celebrate, he sent out these GREAT party pax to them. We weren't supposed to open them until Saturday, but my Person had plans before the party started, so after I got into my PJs on Friday night we opened my pak together!

Here I am in my nightshirt, very carefully pushing the party pak over to my Person. (It's important to make sure your person knows exactly what to do, or she might get distracted)

And here I am digging into the goods! You'll notice that there were some delicious cans of the foods, a tinsel ball, two toy mice, a BIG BAG OF CATNIP, and some pins and magnets with Skeezix's face on them. In this picture, I am most interested in the plastic bag. I figured it was too small to put my booty on, so I just dug in it and smelled it real good for awhile.

But then, I DID manage to get my booty on top of that plastic bag! So I sat on top of it and admired the party pak contents for awhile. Later on, I played with the tinsel ball and one of the toy mice and lost both in the black hole under the persons TV. I lose lots of toys there and they are never ever seen again, except for sometimes when my Person gets them out for me, which doesn't happen very often.

A few days later, Skeezix sent me this great game to play during the party called "Pin the Tail on the Mao-Butt". So on the day of the party, before my Person left, she helped me play it! Here I am, selecting the tail I wanted to use.

My Person cut it out for me. I tried to do it myself, with my claws (they are inside of my very big toes), but I don't have the best aim ever. So she helped, and then handed it over to me. Here I am, taking it from her.

Then my Person picked me up and spun me around (I JUST WANT TO MAKE PERFECTLY CLEAR THAT IF IT WAS NOT FOR A GAME, I WOULD NEVER ALLOW THIS KIND OF BEEHAYVYUR), plopped me down, and I pinned my tail right on that Maobutt!!

And then I posed with it. I was trying very hard to look modest, even though I am pretty sure that it was the best job of pinning the Maobutt tail on to ever happen.

Besides pinning Maobutt tails on, I also sniffed some nip and met some ladies at Skeezix's party. I had some drinks, too, but not too many, because nobody likes a tipsy man cat. AND THERE WAS FOODS, AND I REALLY LIKE FOODS. All in all, a great party. Happy birthday, Skeezy!